Futures
by SD130413
Summary: Olivia finds her brother Simon and learns something about her father she possibly wasn't ready to hear, at the same time she begins to date a man she thought she'd only ever be friends with. Olivia and Bayard.
1. Chapter 1

**So after talking with someone I believe to be the biggest fan of my work ToriRenee161 I decided to do an Olivia/Bayard fic, don't know if anyone will enjoy it but Tori but after the heartache she's going through from David I'm rooting for this relationship, he loves her, it's obvious. **

**Anyway, I have had this idea for a fic for a while and so I'm combining two ideas and hopefully it will make a good story, even if you're not for Olivia/Bayard it shouldn't be a long fic, ten chapters possibly. **

**The story begins after Olivia's find Simon and he came round to her apartment to talk to her, he isn't being accused of rape though!**

* * *

"Where is your father?" Olivia asked as she stared at the picture in her hand.

"He and my Mom split up years ago, I haven't spoken to him since." Simon replied shakily, he still couldn't believe there was a chance that the woman in front of him was his sister.

"So he's alive?" Olivia asked.

"Yeah, I mean they'd have let me know if he was dead right?" Simon shrugged.

"Your Dad raped my Mom." She informed him.

He stared at her and shook his head nervously.

"No…"

"Yes Simon." Olivia replied firmly handing the photo back.

"No way, he was a normal guy, he loved me … I mean can you prove it?" He was in shock, he hadn't been expecting this, one night stand maybe or previous girlfriend but not a rape.

"I prove it." Olivia snapped going to the kitchen.

Simon just stood in shock, he really didn't know what else to say.

"Do you want a drink?" Olivia asked.

"Sure." He nodded. "So how did you find me?"

"Chance, something my Mom said." She shrugged, she couldn't exactly be sure if he could be trusted with the fact she'd illegally ran her DNA looking for a familial match.

They spent a lot of the night talking, getting to know each other past and present and even discussed some continued relationship but when he left and Olivia went to bed she had one thing on her mind, her father Joseph Hollister.

He knew about her, he'd kept tabs on her and she wasn't sure if that meant that he'd gotten some sick pleasure from knowing when he'd raped a woman she'd carried his child for nine months then brought her up or if he genuinely cared about her in some way. Somehow she drifted off into an uneasy sleep.

* * *

The next morning Olivia went into work with her mind still playing over the fact she had learned from her brother Simon. She hadn't told anyone about him, not even Elliot so at the moment she felt more lost and alone with no one she could turn to ask advice from.

"Benson, Stabler, Cory Green is here with his lawyer wanting to talk to you both." Cragen said approaching the desk where Olivia was removing her coat.

"Is he going to give us something?" Olivia asked.

"I don't know he didn't say." Cragen sighed. "They're waiting in interrogation two."

Olivia and Elliot glanced at each other, they had been working on Cory Green for nearly a month trying to find out what his connection was to rape victim Michelle Sanders, they were almost one hundred percent sure he was connected to the rape somehow but with no leads, no evidence and no witnesses the case had gone cold.

Olivia and Elliot walked to the interrogation room two way and saw Cory Green and defence attorney Bayard Ellis sat side by side in complete silence.

"Ellis?" Olivia asked her Captain in surprise.

He was one of the lawyers Olivia considered a good guy, he only took cases when he was sure the perp deserved justice in some way, either because they were actually innocent or because of mental health issues or extreme emotional disturbance, Olivia respected the man and seeing him next to Cory Green she wondered what on earth was going on.

"It doesn't mean anything." Elliot informed her before heading for the door.

She knew Bayard Ellis would have a reason for being there and she knew Elliot would know that and that's why he told her it didn't mean anything.

Reluctantly she walked in behind Elliot to face the man who had at one time been their prime suspect.

"Ok Cory what have you got for us?" Elliot asked taking the seat in front of Cory while Olivia opted to lean against the wall and listen.

"I know who raped Michelle." He whispered.

"Ok then tell us." Elliot sighed.

Olivia looked out through the window, her mind drifting off to the conversation she'd shared with Simon over whiskey last night, she still was in shock at finding out she had a brother but finding out her dad was out there somewhere and knew about her was an even bigger shock.

"My client will give you the name as long as he's granted immunity on a different charge." Bayard's voice brought Olivia's attention back to the room.

She saw him looking at her awkwardly and she looked at the floor guessing he'd seen her looking preoccupied.

"We don't have the power to do that councillor." Elliot informed him.

"Then get your ADA here." Bayard replied. "She can and she will give him the immunity of that I am certain."

A knock on the door had the detectives sighing and walking out, they knew they couldn't hear anymore until Casey arrived so Cragen had pulled them out.

"I'll get on the phone with Casey, he can't tell you anymore because he will incriminate himself and you'll have no option but to arrest him, when she hears what he has to say then we can get the name." Cragen explained to the two defeated looking detectives.

"He's been stringing us along for three weeks, how do we know he isn't doing that now?" Olivia sighed as she ran her head through her chocolate locks, cases like this always bothered her.

"We can't be certain he isn't stringing us along but this may be our only chance to catch the guy who raped Michelle Olivia." Cragen explained before walking off leaving the two detectives to stare at Cory through the two way.

As Olivia looked at him her mind wandered again, she couldn't stop thinking about the man in the photograph, at least now she'd seen who she had inherited her chocolate eyes from, the eyes that so many victims had trusted and believed in.

"Olivia!" Elliot's yell snapped her back from her thoughts.

"What?" She asked frowning.

"I've been calling you for five minutes." Elliot replied.

"Sorry, just got a lot on my mind." She replied weakly before turning back to the two way.

"I can tell, you wanna talk about it?" Elliot asked feeling concerned about his best friend, he'd not been going through an easy time himself but he could see Olivia needed someone to talk to.

"No I'm good what were you calling me for?" She asked quickly changing the subject.

"I was just wondering what he wanted immunity from." Elliot explained nodding his head towards Cory.

"Drugs." She replied simply. "We know they were doing drugs, Michelle confessed to doing a bit of weed that night but she said there was some stronger stuff floating around but she didn't touch it."

"Oh yeah now I remember." Elliot sighed just as Cragen came back in.

"You can tell Mr Green and his Lawyer that they need to be back here at five, Casey is in court all day but she promised she will be here by five." He explained.

"I'll let them know now." Olivia replied before walking into the interrogation room and passing the message along.

Olivia walked out into the corridor one step behind Bayard and his client. She went to walk away but seeing lawyer and client say goodbye stopped her in her tracks.

"You're not going to make sure he's going to turn up?" Olivia asked the lawyer almost teasingly.

"I know he will." Bayard shrugged. "It's why he came to me but then enough about that because I can't tell you anymore unless he's with me and gets his deal."

"I should let you go…"

"I wanted to ask if you'd join me for Coffee Detective, you look like you could use it." Bayard smiled softly.

That smile always seemed to warm her heart, she wasn't sure why but it was just adorable.

"Uh… sure I have nothing to be getting on with and they'll call if they need me, just let me grab my coat." Olivia smiled, there was no harm in going out for coffee with a friend… was there?

"Where you going?" Elliot asked seeing her grab her coat.

"Nowhere, I'll be on my cell if you need me ok?" She smiled softly before turning on her heels and walking back into the corridor to meet Bayard who was still smiling when she arrived by his side.

"I know this great little bistro around the corner." He smiled.

* * *

Less than twenty minutes later Olivia and Bayard were sitting in a booth in the back of the bistro with coffee, it was nice for both of them to be out and not discussing a case, meeting without the complications and stresses of work.

"So you want to tell me what was on your mind in the interrogation room?" Bayard asked as he added a sachet of sugar into his drink.

"What do you mean?" Olivia asked acting oblivious.

"You weren't paying attention most of the time, I don't mean to pry but you seemed like you needed a friend to offload onto and something told me you couldn't do that with anyone at the precinct so I thought I'd be that shoulder for you." He smiled.

Once again her heart melted, his smile made her feel so warm and tingly and she couldn't help but smile back.

"You read me well councillor." She laughed as his smile turned into a grin.

"We're not working please call me Bayard." He smiled.

"Sure thing as long as you call me Olivia." She smiled back.

A few moments silence past between the pair, each lost in a world of their own thoughts.

"So are you going to tell me what's been bothering you?" Bayard asked eventually.

"I found out I had a brother." Olivia sighed softly.

Bayard's eyes widened in surprise, he knew the story of Olivia's past, there wasn't a defence attorney who'd worked against SVU who hadn't dug it up when trying to get their clients off.

"How did you find him?" Bayard asked.

Olivia sighed again as she tried to figure out if she could trust Bayard with the truth.

"I ran my DNA through the system looking for a familial match and there he was." Olivia sighed again, she'd been doing a lot of that lately.

"So he's a felon?" Bayard frowned.

"No, he gave his DNA to some cops in Jersey to eliminate himself in a murder investigation as did two hundred other men and the DNA was somehow still in the system." Olivia explained and Bayard nodded his understanding.

"So have you met him?" Bayard asked.

"Last night." Olivia explained everything in just two words but Bayard could see it was affecting the detective and wasn't going to let it go that easily.

"So you told him about your father?" He asked gently.

Olivia could only nod in reply, she felt guilty after telling Simon that his Dad had raped her Mom, it was obvious that even though Simon and his father hadn't spoken in years the man still loved his father.

"And what did he say?" Bayard asked his voice so soft that it soothed Olivia.

"He was in shock but I found out that my Dad kept track of me Bayard, he knew about me and I can't determine whether he got some sick pleasure from knowing one of the women he raped had his child or …" Olivia's voice broke off as she stared into her drink, she wasn't used to being this open with people and it scared her at how easy she find opening up to the defence attorney.

"Or if he cared about you." Bayard finished for her.

"Exactly." Olivia sighed and closed her eyes, it sounded worse when it was said out loud.

"What did your brother say about him?" Bayard asked taking the topic in a different way hoping to get more out of the young woman who seemed quite vulnerable for the first time since he'd known her.

"Simon, he uh, he said that he and his Dad haven't talked in years but he's sure he's still alive." Olivia explained shrugging her shoulders.

"Do you want to meet him?" Bayard asked, that was going to be the toughest one for Olivia to answer.

"I don't know, he raped my Mom." Olivia stressed.

"He's still half your genetics Olivia." Bayard pointed out.

"That's the otherside of the argument that I've been having with myself since I found out about him, I saw a picture of him Bayard, the first picture of him and I could see straight away that I inherited his eyes, I mean … I don't … what if …" Olivia stuttered towards the end as she wasn't sure how to word her biggest concern.

"Are you worrying what else you might have inherited from him?" Bayard asked reaching his hand over the table and wrapping it around Olivia's much smaller hand.

"I guess." Olivia sighed dropping her head into her free hand, this situation was wearing her out.

"I think that this is something you really need to think about and whatever decision you make you have to make it for yourself." Bayard informed her as gently as he could.

"I know, but I can't decide, what if I meet him and it turns out to be a mistake, that I shouldn't have met him or what if I don't meet him and something happens and I never get to." Olivia sighed again, this situation really was frustrating.

Bayard looked at the woman in front of him, for the first time since he'd met her he felt like she was opening up a part of her that wasn't involved with Detective Benson, a part of her that was privet, hidden from the world and for some reason he found himself feeling particularly privileged to be allowed a glimpse into Olivia's life. The phone ringing however disrupted the moment.

"Benson." She answered taking her hand from Bayard's and placing it in her lap. "Yeah I'm on my way." She hung up and looked over at her friend apologetically.

"It's ok Olivia, duty calls and all." He smiled and her heart warmed again. "Just don't worry about this situation with your dad too much." He said as he got to his feet with her. "You'll know what you want to do when the time comes."

"Thank you and sorry about my moaning." She laughed gently though she wasn't joking.

"I'm here whenever you need me Olivia, I wanted to ask how about after this meeting with the ADA you and I catch a bite to eat, nothing formal just food and talking?"

Olivia smiled as she weighed up her options.

"I'd like that." She smiled as they walked towards the door.

Once outside he turned to her.

"Then it's a date." He smiled before walking off.

Olivia watched him go for a moment. 'Then it's a date.' 'a date' echoed in her mind, she couldn't help but break out into a grin as she turned and headed back for the one six.

* * *

Olivia was still smiling when she walking into the bullpen fifteen minutes later which didn't go unnoticed by her partner.

"Someone looks happy." He smiled, he loved seeing her happy.

"Do I?" She asked raising an eyebrow trying to act oblivious.

"Yeah where did you run off to, this morning your head was in the clouds and now you're smiling." He grinned cheekily at her as she laughed softly, trust Elliot to put two and two together and come out with five.

"Do I need a reason to be happy?" She asked as she took her seat.

"In this job?" He asked raising his own eyebrows. "Yeah and I called you because someone is waiting for you in the interview room refused to talk to anyone but you." He explained.

Olivia nodded and walked off to the interview room wondering who had come to see her at work. She opened the door and stood in shock as she faced her brother.

"Simon." She said in nearly a whisper. "What are you doing here?"

"I… I'm sorry to come and see you at work but I couldn't wait." He explained going over to the couch and sitting down.

Olivia went over and sat down beside him wondering what could be so important.

"Simon what is it?" She asked gently, he looked worried.

"I… I told my Mom about you, she's old, she's really not well but sometimes she remembers things from her past…" He was rambling and Olivia tried not to smile as she processed what he was saying. "I showed her the picture of you I showed you that my Dad carried around in his pocket, she said he said he'd find you, he told her that you were his little girl and someday you were going to know the truth and that's all I got out of her before she asked me who I was again." He informed her.

Olivia just stared at him in shock, she hadn't expected any of this, she hadn't expected to find a brother but to hear what he was saying about her father… his father, their father, was a lot to process.

"Uh." Was all she could say.

"Sorry I shouldn't have bothered you at work with this." Simon sighed.

"No Simon it's ok, I'm glad you did." She replied grabbing his hand gently.

"I'd really like for you to meet her Olivia, you might help her remember more, she might be able to tell you something more." He explained.

"Uh now isn't really the time Simon, I mean I'm still in shock to have met you and find out that my Dad is still out there somewhere." She replied shakily unsure really how to respond.

"Of course, again I'm sorry Olivia but just … just call me ok? Don't be a stranger, you're my sister and I'd like to be a part of your life … if you change your mind about meeting my Mom here's the address, I spoke with her carer and said you might drop by, so you have my permission to see her whenever you feel ready … if ever." He said as he got to his feet.

"Of course, thank you Simon uh this means a lot." She said.

Simon smiled and awkwardly wrapped his arms around her in a brotherly embrace. Olivia was startled for a moment but wrapped her arms back around him, taking comfort in the fact he wanted to know her, he wanted to be a part of her life and accepted her as a sister.

"I'll talk to you soon then." He smiled as they broke apart.

"Sure." She smiled and he walked out leaving her to look at the address in her hand.

His Mom knew about her, that was a shock on its own but hearing that he'd told her about his daughter, his little girl … things didn't seem to make any sense to her and things seemed suddenly a lot more difficult to process in her mind.

Slowly she made her way back to her desk with thoughts running through her mind, she sat down and put the address in her purse failing to realise Elliot was glaring at her.

"Who was the guy?" He asked.

"No one." She shrugged, now wasn't the time to tell Elliot in her mind.

"Yeah right." He sighed angrily, he hated that she closed herself off from him.

"Elliot …"

"No Liv, you're keeping secrets from me and I hate it when you do that, I'm your partner and I want to have your back but I can't do that when you're hiding things from me." He snapped quietly, he didn't want to draw Munch and Fin's attention to their argument.

"This isn't the same El, this isn't work it's personal." She sighed, she didn't want to argue with him.

"You dating him?" Elliot asked.

Olivia realised that if she didn't tell Elliot he was going to just keep questioning her so she took a deep breath and looked her partner in the eye.

"No Elliot, his name is Simon Marsden and he's my little brother." She sighed.

Elliot looked at her in shock, he couldn't believe it, she'd not even mentioned going looking for family let alone finding out that she had family.

"Wow, uh, congratulations." He smiled weakly, he really didn't know what to say to her. "How did you …"

"Chance." She replied, even though she'd trusted Bayard with the truth she was still unsure on telling her partner the whole truth.

"Did you look for him?" Elliot asked.

"Sorta." Olivia replied, that was sort of the truth so she wasn't exactly lying just not being one hundred percent honest either.

"Ok." He nodded content with her answer. "So you met him before today?" He asked.

"Yes, Elliot this isn't a game of twenty questions, I told you who he is isn't that enough?" Olivia asked.

"Fine, sorry, I just want to look out for you Liv you're my best friend." He explained.

"I know, and when I have more to tell I will let you know all I can tell you for now is Simon and I have the same father, he hasn't spoken to our dad in years but knows he's still alive, his mother is sick but she knows who I am and some of the things he says doesn't add up." Olivia rambled, it was more for herself than for Elliot but he was listening intently.

"You going to find your Dad?" He asked gently.

"I don't know yet." She shrugged, he had to be content with that for now.

* * *

**So I don't know how many of you are for this paring but without David or Elliot in the show this was something I saw so enjoy!**


	2. Chapter 2

Olivia and Elliot had found out that Cory had been the one supplying the cocaine at the party and he hadn't come forward to say he had witnessed a part of the rape because the perp had threatened to drop him in it for the cocaine and as he had two priors for drugs he would have been sent down. Cory got his immunity and would be at the precinct the next morning to give his full statement which meant Olivia and Elliot got to leave early.

"Wanna ride home?" Elliot asked as Olivia pulled on her jacket, Bayard was waiting for her downstairs.

"I'm good." Olivia smiled. "Thanks."

"You sure?" Elliot asked, he hated the thought of her walking Manhattan's streets alone after what they saw day in day out.

"I'm sure El, really I have plans so I'll see you tomorrow." She smiled before he nodded content with her answer and left her to stall, making sure he had time to leave before she met Bayard out in the front, she wasn't ready to tell her partner about her relationship just yet.

"Did I hear you tell Stabler you had plans baby girl?" Fin asked as Olivia dug through her purse.

"Yeah why?" She frowned, she knew he would question her now.

"Oooo Benson's got a hot date!" Fin smirked.

"What?" She asked laughing, typical Fin, she thought.

"Oh come on, you refuse a lift which you rarely do and then say you have 'plans'." He used his hands for the effect of inverted commas. "That means hot date."

"No way Fin I'd love to know how you come up with these things." Olivia smiled as she shook her head.

"Come on Liv I ain't the conspiracy nut around this place, he is…" He pointed towards Munch. "But you're stalling which means the person you're going on a date with is hanging around and you don't want Stabler to see you with him…"

"That's insane, I'm going to say goodnight fella's because you're insinuations are way off Tutuola." She smirked before walking off just catching the men's echoing cries of good night.

Bayard was waiting outside just below the steps, she smiled at him as he smiled up at her.

"So where are we headed?" She asked as she arrived by his side and he hailed a cab.

"Well seeing as you didn't say anything when I called it a date I booked us a table at one of my favourite dinners …" Olivia was about to interrupt to say she wasn't dressed for anywhere like that but he shook his head and smiled stopping her with his hand. "It's not somewhere you get dressed up for but it is busy and you do need to book a table so I thought I would." He explained and Olivia nodded, satisfied with his answer.

"So what's this place called?" She asked as they climbed into a cab.

"Romeo's." He smirked as Olivia laughed, typical, she thought.

"So are you my Romeo tonight councillor?" She asked teasingly.

"If you'll let me be Detective." He joked back making her laugh again.

His breath hitched in his throat every time she laughed, it was such a beautiful sight and sound and it captivated him, he didn't know why, he knew Detective Benson was a very attractive woman, many male and some female defence attorneys had mentioned it in the past but he didn't just find her beauty attractive he saw inside her, and his heart was captured by the inner beauty he saw shining through every time she worked a case. He knew she was passionate and dedicated as he'd seen it himself and they were just two of her qualities that he found as captivating as the next.

* * *

At the restaurant they both ordered burgers and chips, Olivia could see what he meant by not being a formal restaurant, in fact it was just a diner so he was surprised that reservations had to be made for such a place, Bayard said it was because the food was that good.

While they waited for their food and sipped at their soda's Bayard began talking about his own past hoping that maybe it would help Olivia open up to him.

"Both my parents died in a car crash when I was twenty four." He told her and just from that he could see the empathy coming from her beautiful brown eyes. "I'd not long finished law school when it happened, I have no siblings and no family at all left if I'm honest but I've never been bothered by it."

Olivia didn't know what to say, she could have said she knew how he felt but it didn't seem appropriate because in all honesty she didn't know how he felt, she'd had a drunk for her mother and had just found out a little more about her rapist father, he obviously had loving parents, that was obvious as their ghost danced in his eyes when he talked about them.

"So have you thought much more about your father?" He asked as their food was placed in front of them.

"Uh Simon was at the precinct when I got back from coffee." She told him.

He tried to hide his surprise but failed making Olivia smile.

"He said he's been to see his Mom but she has an illness so her memory's gone but apparently when he told her about me she told him that our Dad watched me, he knew about me, he … he told her he'd find me and someday I'd know the truth." Olivia explained shakily.

"What's been going through your mind since Olivia?" He asked softly, it was obvious she hadn't stopped thinking about it since she'd seen Simon.

"I've been thinking that maybe my Mom wasn't raped or maybe she lied to me in some way about him." She sighed, she felt guilty saying it out loud.

"I don't think there's anything wrong in feeling like that Olivia, I mean, I'm no psychiatrist but I think they're normal things to be thinking." He explained.

She smiled at him, he was so caring and gentle, she'd never met anyone like him in her life.

"I guess." She smiled.

"Did he say anything else?" He asked wanting to keep the conversation going while she was feeling like being open, he knew Olivia could close off quickly.

"Yeah he wants me to meet his Mom, gave me her address and told me he'd informed the carer that I might be by to visit." She replied trying to hide her uncertainty.

"Are you going to?" He continued.

"Maybe." She shrugged. "I need to really think about it because I don't want to start something or find things out that I'm not ready to find out."

"You're a wise woman Olivia and I'm sure you'll do what you think is right for you." He smiled reassuringly at her, his brown eyes latching onto hers.

She smiled, he was influencing her without even trying it frightened her how he affected her but at the same time it excited her.

* * *

The next morning Olivia was still smiling about her date with Bayard, he'd walked her to the front of her apartment block arm in arm with her and then kissed her cheek before saying goodnight and parting.

She'd never met anyone like him, he'd behaved like a perfect gentleman, he'd not tried to go to her apartment, he'd shared parts of his life with her, he'd supported her when she opened up to him, he'd treated her in a way she thought women were only treated in books and movies.

When she walked into the bullpen she saw a bouquet of blood red roses on her desk.

"Good night?" Fin asked as she picked up the card.

"Yeah thanks." She smiled as she took the card from the small envelope.

_Olivia, _

_Thank you for a wonderful evening, can we do it again tonight? I'll pick you up at eight, dress up!_

_Bayard x_

She grinned, she felt like a love struck teenager.

"Ok anyone who can make Benson grin like that needs to be introduced to the three protective big brothers!" Fin grinned cheekily.

"Shut up." She laughed as she picked up her phone.

_To: Bayard_

_Message: I'll see you at eight, Olivia x_

Once she had clicked the send button she put the card in her purse and placed her phone back in her pocket, she wouldn't have admitted it out loud but she was very much looking forward to the evening.

Elliot walked into the bullpen half an hour later, he saw the flowers adjourning Olivia's desk and smiled at her, she was visibly happy and he wondered if it was anything to do with her brother, but then her brother wouldn't send her red roses… whatever it was he was pleased to see her happy.

"Elliot come on we have to go and pick up Morgan Freeman." Olivia said grabbing her coat. "I'll buy you coffee on the way…" She teased as she knew he hated having to leave the precinct without a coffee in his system.

"I'll buy if you tell me who sent you the roses." He teased.

"Why?" She frowned as they walked towards the exit, she wasn't ready to tell Elliot anything about Bayard in case they just stayed friends, but a second date meant it was promising.

"Because I need to make sure he's clean." Elliot replied.

"Elliot…" She said in a warning tone.

"Oh come on Liv I run all your boyfriends through the system." He shrugged.

"I know but I promise you that you won't find anything on this one ok?" She smiled, she loved it when the men she worked with got all overprotective over her, it made her laugh a little on the inside.

"Why is he a cop? Because I'll get Cragen to pull up his jacket." Elliot smirked.

"No he isn't a cop El, please just drop it ok?" She wanted to tell him so much but at the same time she didn't and she wasn't sure how long she'd be able to keep it in if he kept badgering her.

"Ok, for now I'll drop it." He smiled, he just wanted to look out for her but he also understood she deserved her privacy.

* * *

The rest of the day went without a hitch, Morgan Freeman confessed to which Olivia had text Bayard to let him know his client was in the clear for the drugs and then she'd been able to leave the precinct at six pm to get washed and dressed for her date.

She now sat in front of her mirror slipping a pair of dangly diamante earrings to finish off her look. She was wearing a simple little navy blue dress, it had a decent neckline showing just about enough cleavage but was definitely modest, it had short sleeves and a lighter blue thin belt just on the waist. Her hair had been brushed and hung loosely on her shoulders in its natural waves, and she'd put a straightening iron through her bangs. She felt feminine with a little more make up on than she wore to work but not enough to be considered too much. As the buzzer went she was grabbing her perfume bottle and she sprayed it as she walked to the intercom.

"Yeah?"

It's Bayard.

"Come up." She smiled to herself as she opened her door so he could walk inside.

She ran into her bedroom to finish getting ready as Bayard came up and into her flat.

As soon as he walked inside he was hit with the smell of her perfume, he'd spent all day yesterday thinking about that smell so he instantly recognised it, it was almost as if it hypnotised him.

She rushed out of her bedroom pulling on a light blue pair of Jimmy Choos, they were four inches with a strap back and peep toe that she'd paid nearly seven hundred dollars for, a bargain in her eyes.

His eyes raked over her, for the first time he felt like it was ok to look as she leant over the table to grab her matching clutch purse.

"Ok I'm ready." She smiled as she pulled her keys from her purse.

"You look amazing." He smiled as he hooked his eyes onto hers.

"Thank you, you sure scrub up well too." She smiled feeling her cheeks turning a bright red as she blushed under his compliment.

He just smiled, he'd never seen Olivia blush before but the rosy tint to her cheeks looked adorable and as they left he hoped he could continue to make her eyes sparkle the way they had when he'd complimented her.

* * *

The meal had gone well, they'd laughed, they'd eaten, they'd drunk and they'd kept the conversation light and not serious and they both felt great when they left the restaurant. Bayard once again walked Olivia home, he would never have let her walk alone and as her apartment wasn't far from the restaurant he didn't see the point in calling a taxi.

"Will you or would you like to come up for coffee?" Olivia asked when they arrived outside her block.

"Yeah I'd like that." Bayard smiled, it was only half ten at night there was no point calling it a night yet.

Once they were upstairs Olivia kicked off her shoes and switched the kettle on before slipping out her earrings and pulling her hair back into a scruffy ponytail. She quickly made the coffee and they both sat down comfortably either side of the couch.

"You have a nice place here." He commented still keeping the conversation light.

"Thank you, it's not much but its home." She replied glancing around the room.

The quiet that surrounded them was not uncomfortable and lasted several minutes before Bayard spoke up.

"Have you thought much more about meeting Simon's mother?" He asked.

"Yeah." She replied as she stared into her mug, her finger tracing the outline.

"And?" He pressed.

"I want to meet her, see if she can remember anything else but …" She sighed heavily. "I'm scared to hear what she has to say."

"Olivia…" Bayard reached over and took her hand. "This decision is yours too make but if you want to meet her, I'll be there by your side if you want me too." He told her as he looked deep into her eyes.

She looked back at him, she had no doubts that he was being honest with her.

"Thank you." She whispered without looking away from his eyes.

He smiled softly and placed his now empty mug on the coffee table before sitting a little more upright, Olivia did the same then he took her hand again.

"I think you're a very strong woman Olivia, whatever you chose to do I'm here for you." He said and she smiled softly, she'd never heard anyone speak like this with her before and it surprised her, excited her and most importantly terrified her.

She barely saw it coming to react, he leant forwards and softly latched his lips onto hers. They were soft, the kiss was tender and as it broke apart she realised she didn't want it to so she cupped one hand to his cheek and returned the kiss, deepening it just enough so she could taste him before pulling away, she didn't want to push this too fast too soon.

He smiled at her and she smiled back, she hadn't expected that and she hadn't expected her own reaction.

"I should head home." He said softly but it was obvious to Olivia he didn't want to leave yet.

"Yeah. Thank you for tonight, I really enjoyed myself." She smiled.

"Tomorrow night?" He asked gently.

"As long as work doesn't get in the way I'd like that." She smiled trying to hide her excitement.

"I'll text you the details." He smiled as she walked him to the door.

He turned to her and placed a gentle kiss on her lips cupping her cheek in his hand. She rubbed her face into the tough worked hands, enjoying the tingle her skin felt under his touch.

"Good night." He whispered.

"Good night." She replied as he pulled away.

She watched him walk to the stairs and look at her with a smile on his face before she closed the door relishing in how well the night had gone with Ellis.


	3. Chapter 3

**ToriRenee161 I think you're the only person reading this story! But ah well I am enjoying writing it!**

Olivia slept well that night, instead of thinking about Simon, his mother and their father she thought of Bayard Ellis, his promise, his kiss and his touch all of which sent fireworks through her veins. When her cell rang at four am she was woken from a beautiful dream concerning herself, Bayard and a secluded Hawaiian beach.

"Benson" She answered groggily.

"Got a case." Elliot's voice floated into her ear.

"Text me the address." She replied already pushing back the duvet and climbing out of bed.

* * *

Half an hour later she was pulling up her car outside the crime scene where Elliot was waiting for her.

"What have we got?" She asked her partner as soon as he was in hearing distance.

"Rape triple homicide." Elliot replied before showing her into the house.

The first body was right by the front door, a little boy no older than seven or eight who'd been shot in the chest.

"Poor kid." Olivia whispered, there was nothing worse than cases with kids.

"Other two are down here." Elliot said pointing down a narrow hallway.

The second body was right by the door of what appeared to be the master bedroom, he'd been shot right in between the eyes and Olivia guessed he was the kid's father because they definitely looked alike.

The third victim was on the bed, she was a mess, covered in cuts and bruises. Melinda Warner was stood beside the bed scribbling on a clipboard as the Detectives approaches.

"What have you got for us?" Olivia asked weakly, the case was already getting to her.

"She was raped and we've got fluids, all three were shot probably what caused their deaths." Melinda explained.

"My guess is that Mom was being raped, Dad and Son came home, Killer shoots Mom so Dad comes to investigate leaving kid at the door, killer shoots Dad then see's son and shoots him too before making a getaway." Elliot suggested and Olivia nodded in agreement, it definitely was a plausible explanation with where the bodies were located.

"Well I'll tell you more when I get them on my table." Melinda sighed, it was going to be a long day for all of them.

Olivia and Elliot nodded and proceeded to check around the house for clues. They started off in the living room where there was no body for them to avoid while searching.

"Hold on El…" Olivia said picking up a photo frame.

"What?" He asked coming up to her.

"Looks like a second son, teenager." Olivia said pointing to the older boy in the picture.

"They sure look alike." Elliot nodded agreeing with his partner's conclusion.

"So where is he?" She asked.

"Bag the picture and we can ask the neighbours." Elliot shrugged.

Fin and Munch came in as they began searching again stopping them both in their tracks.

"Neighbour called us when she heard shots she said the first shot was around ten seconds before the first but there was thirty seconds to a minute between the second and the third, she says that our victims are Hannah Miller and she's thirty six, Joseph Miller and he's thirty nine and their youngest son is Timothy Miller, there is a teenage son called Mathew Miller and he's fourteen." Fin explained reading from his little black notebook.

"Ok so where is Mathew Miller?" Olivia replied looking down at the photograph in her hands.

"She knew the perp." Elliot said from the front door.

"No sign of forced entry?" Olivia asked and Elliot shook his head.

After another hour of searching and coming up empty they headed back to the House to see what they could do next.

* * *

It was nearly eight o'clock in the morning and so far they had no leads on finding out who killed the Millers or where Mathew Miller was, they were now sat at their desks running the victims through the database trying to get something on any of them.

"I'm looking for Detective Benson." A voice echoed from the mouth of the pen.

Olivia spun around and saw a delivery boy with a large bouquet of exotic flowers in blue. She smiled and stood up signalling to the boy that she was Detective Benson.

Once she signed for the flowers she sat back in her chair, aware that everyone was looking at her wanting to know who had sent her flowers for the second day in a row, she was pleased to have taken the roses home with her the previous day now otherwise she'd have nowhere to put these newer bunch.

She found the card sticking out of the blue vase and after setting the flowers down on her desk she opened it excitedly.

_Olivia,_

_Thank you for last night, see you at eight? _

_Bayard xx_

Olivia grinned as she slipped the card into her purse, the last thing she wanted was for any of the boys to find it.

"Ok anyone who sends Benson flowers two days in a row and makes her smile like that really needs to meet the brothers." Fin commented making Olivia laugh, she loved the teasing they did.

"This must be serious." Munch commented and Olivia chuckled softly, she didn't know if was serious or if it was going to be serious but she felt like she was serious about Bayard, she'd never felt like this for any man in her life ever.

"Seriously Liv, when do we get to meet this mystery man?" Elliot asked and she just shrugged in reply.

"Ok so how long have you been dating him?" Munch asked.

"Three days." Olivia replied with a twinkle in her eye, the best three days of her life so far.

"Wow and flowers two days in a row this man has it bad for you." Fin smirked as Olivia's phone rang.

"Benson." She answered with a smile.

"Hey Olivia." Bayard's soft voice carried to her.

"Hey." Olivia smiled turning her chair for some form of privacy.

"Did you get the flowers?" He asked gently.

"I did thank you they're beautiful." She grinned, they truly were.

"Not as beautiful as you." He said making Olivia chuckle and blush at the same time.

"Thank you." She smiled trying to hide her reaction from her co-workers.

"Well I'm at that bistro around the corner wondering if you want breakfast." He told her.

"Uh…" She thought of the case and how much free time she had.

"I mean if you're busy I could bring it there." He suggested coolly, that meant he didn't mind her co-workers knowing which made her even happier, no one wanted to meet her co-workers once they  
knew she was a cop, they knew how brothers in blue worked when things went wrong.

"I'd like that." She smiled feeling giddy about the whole thing.

"Ok well I'll be there in a little while." He smiled.

"See you then." She replied hanging up the phone.

"Was that lover boy?" Munch teased as Olivia dropped her phone on the desk and fingered one of the bright blue lilies in the vase.

"Whatever Munch." She shrugged unable to shift the smile that had settled on her face.

* * *

Twenty minutes after he called Bayard walked nervously up to the SVU squad room, he knew this was a big deal for both of them because it meant her co-workers finding out about them, he guessed she wouldn't have told them yet because she was such a privet person but he was serious about her and he hoped this showed that she was as serious as he was.

When he entered the bullpen Olivia was typing hard, lost in her own world of work and it brought a smile to his face.

"Councillor what can we do for you?" Elliot asked seeing the lawyer standing and staring at the back of his partner's head.

"Bayard." Olivia smiled spinning her chair round with a wide smile.

"Hey I got breakfast." He smiled signalling the bag and coffee tray in her hand.

She just smiled and walked to him, she tingled all over seeing him smile at her and she dropped a gentle kiss on his cheeks making the mouths of her co-workers fall wide open in surprise.

"We'll go up to the lounge." She smiled signalling to the stairs.

As soon as they were out of earshot the men began discussing what they had witnessed.

"She's dating a defence attorney?" Fin asked in shock.

"Not any defence attorney she's dating Bayard Ellis!" Munch replied with a wide grin on his face.

"Yeah to be fair he is one of the good guys, only takes the cases where justice wouldn't be served if the perp ends up behind bars." Elliot pointed out.

"True but hasn't he and Olivia been friends for years?" Fin asked.

"Yeah they have, never saw anything more between them." Elliot replied glancing at the stairs his partner had gone up. "I can't believe I didn't guess lawyer." He muttered almost to himself.

"What do you mean?" Fin asked frowning at his co-worker.

"I always run Olivia's boyfriends through the system and she knows it too so when she wouldn't tell me his name she also told me that there was no way he was in the system and he was clean so I asked if it was a cop I'd get Cragen to pull up his jacket and she said he wasn't a cop, I didn't guess lawyer." He replied honestly.

"He's not any lawyer he's Bayard Ellis voice of the needy and the black." Fin pointed out.

"He's a good guy." Munch noted.

"As long as he looks after her I have no problem with him." Elliot replied.

Meanwhile upstairs Olivia was sat on the donated couch cuddled up in Bayarad's side.

"Did you see their faces?" Bayard asked with a chuckle.

"I was too busy looking at the handsome guy in front of me." Olivia replied as she slipped a piece of blueberry muffin into her mouth.

Bayard grinned, he'd never suspect Olivia Benson to be a flirt but he couldn't deny that he like it a lot.

"So tell me, what threats will be made against me now?" He asked with a chuckle.

"Well normally Elliot runs the guys I'm dating through the system but now he knows it's you he knows there's no point, Fin usually eyes them up and warns them without words not to hurt me and Munch usually says nothing." Olivia replied looking up at him from her place on his chest.

He smiled and dropped a gentle kiss on her forehead making her grin, the spot he kissed her tingles for several seconds and sent a nice chill down her spine.

"So you think they'll have a problem with us?" He asked softly.

"I don't think so but what is us B'?" She asked already giving him a nickname. "I mean are we dating, seeing each other…"

"Olivia Benson would you like to be my girlfriend?" He interrupted.

She grinned.

"I'd like that."

* * *

Later on that afternoon Olivia was still in cuckoo land. She was looking forward to seeing Bayard later on that evening and he'd asked if he could pick her up from the precinct as he had a surprise for her and there was no need to get dressed up.

Meanwhile the Detectives had spent the day chasing down dead end leads looking for the Millers killer and the eldest son but to no avail. They were all beginning to find this case tedious because they had no more leads and they were worrying about it turning cold.

When Olivia's office phone rang she didn't hesitate in picking it up hoping it was the lab with something from the crime scene that morning. .

"Detective Benson Special Victims." She answered in her usual professional manner, so unlike the one she used when snapping up her cell phone.

No one spoke a word.

"Hello?" She said softly thinking it was a victim who was scared to talk. "Hello?" She said again still softly and then the line went dead and all she could hear was the monotonous beep to signal that the other person had hung up.

Frowning she also hung up knowing there was a possibility they'd call her back and a possibility that they wouldn't, that would be their choice.

"Who was that?" Elliot asked having been listening in.

"No idea, they didn't say anything just hung up." Olivia shrugged as she turned back to her computer, there was work to be done and she couldn't dwell on an unanswered phone call.

She'd barely been working ten minutes when her cell phone rang.

"Benson." She snapped.

Again there was nothing on the other side just some light breathing which send chills down Olivia's spine.

"Who is this please?" She asked pulling the phone from her ear and glancing at the caller ID just to find it was a hidden number.

Still nothing.

"Ok if you're a victim of a crime it's ok to talk to me." She said softly hoping to draw the person out but once again the phone went dead and as she hung up she looked over at Elliot.

"Another voiceless call?" He asked.

She just nodded and then looked back at the now blackened screen of the phone. She couldn't help but wonder who it was calling her, what reason would anyone have to crank call a Detective knowing that they had means and ways to track the call if she wanted to.

* * *

They had finally found a lead in the Miller case but as Olivia shifted through piles of paper she'd almost forgotten about her date with Bayard until he showed up beside her desk.

"Hey." He said making her jump.

"Bayard. Sorry, I got side tracked." She smiled closing the manila folder she'd been looking at.

"Tough case?" He asked looking at the crime scene board.

"Yeah three dead and one missing." Olivia explained. "I'll just let the Captain know I'm leaving." She said as she pulled her coat from the back of her chair.

"Sure." He nodded giving her that heart-warming smile.

She rushed over to the Captain's office, knocked on the door and poked her head round.

"Cap' I'm heading out I'll be on my cell if you need me." She told him.

Cragen glanced from his Detective to the window that looked out over the squad room, he saw the defence attorney leaning against Olivia's desk and he smiled, tonight, if possible, he wouldn't call her in.

"Sure, have a good night." He smiled turning back to her.

"You too." She smiled her face glowing as she turned around to leave.

She took her gun from her hip and dropped it into her purse with her shield and handcuffs, normally she didn't mind wearing them when she was off duty, nine times out of ten she felt safer wearing them but tonight she didn't feel the need to have them on, tonight was about her and Bayard.

* * *

"So where are we going?" Olivia asked as they drove from the precinct in her car, she didn't want to leave it there for a second night.

"Just drive." He teased before pointing which direction to take.

Less than fifteen minutes later they pulled up near the ice rink and Bayard smiled.

"Ice skating?" Olivia half laughed.

"Yeah, have you ever been?" He asked as she went into the glove compartment for her gloves, hat and scarf.

"Not in years." She replied with a chuckle.

"Neither have I so this should be fun!" He grinned before they both jumped out of the car.

After renting skates and putting on their winter wear they stepped out hand in hand onto the ice. Both of them were a little shaky at first but Olivia had always been a natural on the ice and quickly found her footing, Bayard following suit a few minutes later.

"So what made you want to come ice skating?" Olivia asked as he slipped his arm around her and she rested her head in the crook of his shoulder as they skated at a slow speed.

"I just thought dinner would be boring three nights in a row." He explained with a smile. "Even though after this I think we'll be very hungry."

"Maybe we could go back to mine and order in?" Olivia suggested and Bayard looked down at her with a soft smile.

"I'd like that." He replied and she smiled and nodded.

"Catch me if you can." She winked before kicking off hard on the ice and skating off.

Bayard loved a challenge and as soon as he'd realised what she was doing he also kicked off hard from the ice and followed her. As he caught up with her and wrapped his hands around her waist making her giggle wildly they failed to notice a man at the edge of the rink watching and snapping some photos on a digital camera.

They continued to mess about on the ice moving closer to the centre so they wouldn't end up knocking down little children, they were now skating both hands clasped, Olivia going backwards while Ellis went forwards.

"Olivia…" He said frowning.

"What?" She asked turning to look in the direction he was looking.

"You see that man in the green coat…"

"Yeah?" She replied turning back to Bayard.

"I'm sure I just caught him taking pictures of us." He explained.

"You sure?" Olivia frowned turning back to the man who was looking around the rink.

"Yeah." Bayard nodded. "I don't know there's something about him that seems off."

"Ignore him Bayard he's probably an amateur photographer or he has kids on the ice and happened to snap a picture in our direction." Olivia shrugged, she didn't want anything to ruin this night.

"Yeah… yeah you're right." He smiled. "Why don't we head off, I'm getting hungry."

"Sounds good to me." She smiled as she linked her arm into his.

* * *

Later on that night Olivia and Bayard were cuddled up on the couch, music played softly in the background while they ate from Chinese cartons.

"Now this is the life." Olivia smiled as she played with her noodles in her chopsticks.

"You're telling me." He smiled, he'd been thinking the same thing all night.

Just as Olivia put down her carton the door buzzed.

"I wonder who that could be?" She frowned as she made her way over to the intercom. "Hello?"

No reply came. Olivia frowned again, this was getting tedious.

"Olivia?" Bayard asked as she made her way back to the couch.

"Must be the wrong apartment." She shrugged but she hadn't even sat down when her buzzer went off again.

Groaning she went back to the intercom.

"Who is it?" She asked.

Again no sound came but as soon as she released the button the buzzer went again.

"Where's my purse?" Olivia asked coming into the living room as the door continued to buzz.

"Why do you need your purse?" Bayard asked as he handed it to her.

"My gun's in there." She explained as she unzipped it. "Stay here, if I'm not back in five minutes call Elliot on my cell." She handed him her cell phone. "He's speed dial four."

With that she slipped on her slippers and rushed out the door leaving Bayard feeling a little more than stunned, he knew she was just behaving like a cop but seeing her with a loaded weapon in her hand scared him, seeing it on her hip was bad enough.

Olivia walked down the stairs quickly and she pulled her apartment block door open with her weapon out in front of her as she scanned the area. Once she was sure it was clear she dropped her weapon and looked at her buzzer which was still going off. Trapped in the button was an envelope and stick holding it in place. As soon as she removed it the buzzing stop and with one look around her she went back inside.

As she walked up the stairs she looked down at the envelope reading how it was addressed.

_My Dearest Olivia Benson_

That alone was weird. Bayard had been waiting for her by the door and he saw her looking pale when she came inside.

"What is it?" He asked.

"Someone wanted to give me a note." She explained throwing it on the kitchen counter.

"Are you not going to read it?" Bayard asked as Olivia went into the cupboard under the sink.

"Not without … these." She pulled out a set of latex gloves and Bayard raised his eyebrows in surprise as she slipped them on. "Someone delivers a note to my apartment at eleven at night trapping my buzzer to make sure I get it I'm not taking any chances." She explained.

"You're such a cop." He teased as she picked up the envelope and went over to the couch.

Slowly she peeled it open knowing DNA could be picked off the seal had it been licked then her hands shook a little as she removed the note inside.

_Dear Olivia, _

_Now don't freak out, but I'm your father. I know you probably never wanted to hear off me, never wanted to see me and never wanted any contact with me but please give me a chance to explain in this letter. I have kept an eye on you all your life, you're my daughter and I love you very much, I saw you've finally met your brother Simon, I hope the two of you get on well and have some form of relationship together. It's why I chose to contact you, the truth is you don't know the truth about your past, your conception and your life, I know you wouldn't believe me if I told you so you're going to have to investigate it all yourself and come to your own conclusion but I hope when you finally know the truth that you will change your mind about wanting to meet me. I'm sure you'll be able to find me when you're ready to talk. _

_All my Love_

_Dad xx_

_PS. You're boyfriend really loves you, he's very different to all the other guys you've been with, don't run away from this one. X_

Olivia dropped the letter onto her lap when she finished reading it and she couldn't stop the tears from tumbling down her cheeks. Bayard pulled her into his arms and fell back into the couch knowing right now all Olivia needed for the moment was to be held while she cried. He was shocked at reading the letter, a part of him wanted to stop as soon as he'd read the first line, it felt intrusive to be reading the letter to a daughter from a father especially in the situation Olivia was in.

She cried hard. She'd never thought this day would come. The man she'd hated for what he had done to her mother, the man she hoped one day she'd find and shoot or bring to justice in some way had contacted her and she wasn't ready, finding Simon had been hard enough but finding out about Joseph Hollister was a complete different kind of hard.

"Ok?" Bayard asked as the sobbing slowly subsided.

"Why?" She cried. "Why would he write to me now after all these years?" She hiccupped.

"I don't know Princess." He replied running his hand through her hair.

Had she not been a sobbing mess hearing Bayard call her princess would have brought a smile to her face but right now she could barely think let alone function.

She began sobbing again and slowly she cried herself into an uneasy sleep. Bayard didn't have the heart to move her so he shut his own eyes and played with her hair until he too fell into slumber.


	4. Chapter 4

**Wow I never expected so many of you to jump on board with this story, glad to see some of you enjoying it, of course this story has ups and downs throughout so enjoy the ride!**

Bayard woke first the next morning, he glanced down at his watch and saw that it was only five am, the movement woke up Olivia who for a moment forgot where she was and who she was with.

"Morning." He smiled as her eyes fluttered open.

"Morning." She replied groggily before jumping upright. "Shit B!" Olivia gasped her hand flying to her mouth.

"You fell asleep I didn't want to wake you." He explained calmly.

"You should have, you must have been so uncomfortable." She told him as he pulled her back into his chest.

"With you, I could never be uncomfortable." He informed her softly making her grin.

"What time is it?" She asked as she wrapped her hands around his waist.

"Five." He replied running his fingers through her hair.

"It's too early." Olivia moaned making him chuckle slightly.

"I need to go and get ready for work." He told her.

"Of course you do." Olivia sighed pushing herself to sitting.

"Not before I kiss my girlfriend though." He smiled leaning into her.

She smiled and kissed him back, this was the life and she didn't want to let it go.

"I'll see you later?" He asked as she pulled away.

"Of course." She smiled. "Sorry about last night though wasn't …"

"Shh." He said pressing a finger to her lips. "You have nothing to apologise for Olivia, now I'll catch you later." He kissed her crown as she pretended to go and bite his finger making him chuckle as he got to his feet.

Olivia walked him to do the door and gave him one last kiss before rushing off to get ready for work.

* * *

At seven am Olivia walked into the bullpen to find another bouquet of flowers on her desk. She smiled as she picked up the card.

_Last night was perfect, keep your chin up and smile_

_B x_

Olivia grinned happily and as she was the first in the bullpen she could admire the white roses he'd sent her in a white glitter vase. She felt spoilt as this was the third day in a row he'd sent her flowers.

"Third date go well?" Munch asked as he walked in behind her.

"Yeah I think so." Olivia replied as she sat down, Munch sensed that she didn't want to talk and went to sit down at his own desk.

She went into her purse and pulled out the letter she'd received from her father, as she read through it she wondered what it was that he expected her to do, but one thing she knew was that she wouldn't be able to put this aside and forget about it.

After putting away the letter she turned to the crime board hoping that some idea would come to mind. Fin and Elliot arrived within five minutes of each other, Elliot stopping to pick up the card on the roses that Olivia hadn't bothered hiding.

"Chin up?" He asked her as she flicked through a file.

"Yeah what?" She asked.

"Have you got a reason to need to keep your chin up?" Elliot asked, his eyes latching on to Olivia's too show that he was expecting a decent answer.

"It's nothing El, nothing I want to share with you YET, when I'm ready then I'll tell you ok?" Olivia smiled gently, it was none of Elliot's business but he would never take that as an adequate answer.

"You won't tell your partner of nine years but you'll tell your boyfriend of four days?" He asked frowning.

"I didn't have to tell him El he was there." Olivia explained. "If he hadn't have been I wouldn't have told him either." She explained and he nodded before going to sit down, as much as it pained him he kept his questions at bay.

"Right listen up!" Don said coming into the bullpen from his office.

"I swear he lives in that office." Munch mumbled making the Detectives chuckle softly.

"I want us to do a public appeal for the whereabouts of Mathew Miller, someone somewhere knows where this kid is and then maybe we can get some answers about who killed his family." Don said.

"We've been taking for granted that Mathew is a victim here but what if he killed them?" Olivia suggested.

"You think he raped his Mom?" Elliot asked.

"Hey we've seen enough sick things in this line of work that it wouldn't surprise me, just sicken me." Olivia replied firmly.

"Olivia get in uniform you're going on TV I'm setting the conference up for ten." Cragen said.

"Why me?" She asked, there was nothing she hated more than getting in uniform and making a press appeal.

"Because I have a meeting with the brass and Munch and Fin have court so I want Elliot here managing the phones with the rookies till you get back." He explained.

"Fine." Olivia grumbled, she really hated being in uniform.

"So Elliot round up the uniforms and rookies, Munch and Fin Casey will kill you if you're late so make sure you're there on time and Olivia go change." And on that he walked back to his office, it was obvious that he was stressed about something but he wasn't revealing anything to his Detectives.

Olivia sat at her desk and sighed, she knew her uniform was hanging up in the large lockers upstairs but she hadn't worn it in so long she wasn't even sure if it would fit anymore.

Bayard tapped her on her shoulder making her jump but she grinned when she turned and saw him.

"What are you doing here?" She asked smiling.

"Can't bring the most beautiful woman in the world coffee and bagels?" He asked placing the objects on her desk.

"Aww Thank you." She smiled.

He leaned in and kissed her chastely before sitting in the chair beside the desk, the one reserved for victims and people reporting a crime.

"I haven't got long, I'm on press conference duty." Olivia told him as he placed serviettes on her desk and placed the bagels on top.

"You're doing a press conference?" He asked.

"Yeah." She grumbled.

"I'm guessing you're not pleased about that." He smiled as he put cream and sugar in her coffee before handing it over to her.

"I hate them, having to get into uniform and appeal to the public for information, makes cops feel incompetent." Olivia explained as she used the plastic knife to cut her bagel.

"How does it make you feel incompetent?" Bayard frowned, he couldn't get his head around that logic.

"We're asking for the publics help in solving a crime which is our job, so it feels like we're asking them to do our job for us sometimes." She explained before popping a piece of bagel in her mouth.

"That's stupid Olivia, you're just asking them to give you some piece of information so you can do your job…"

"Information we should be able to get without having to ask for it B." She interrupted.

"Sometimes we have to ask, I understand what you mean Princess but sometimes the only way you can get some answers is by asking for them." Bayard replied, he adored this woman, the way she wrinkled her nose when she was frustrated was just cute in his eyes.

"Benson get in uniform now!" Cragen yelled from the office door.

"What crawled in his ass and died." She mumbled as she gathered the crumbs off her desk.

Bayard chuckled, he couldn't help himself when she looked annoyed she still warmed his heart and made him smile.

"What's funny B?" She asked him as he tried to stop laughing.

"Just you." He smiled leaning in to her.

She smiled and leaned in back kissing him softly, unaware of the men who had been watching the whole time Bayard had been here.

"I should go let you do some work." He smiled when she pulled away.

"Yeah." She nodded and smiled at him. "Thank you for breakfast and the flowers, you know I'm going to get used to this if you don't stop." She laughed.

"You deserve it." He smiled. "You think you'll be free tonight?"

"I don't know B if we get a lead from the appeal chances are I'll be working." She sighed.

The truth was she wanted to go out with Bayard some more but she knew one tip would have her working all night.

"Ok why don't you call me when you finish, if you finish?" He asked.

"Sure." She smiled.

He kissed her cheek and left leaving her in a state of pure bliss which only lasted seconds because she had to rush off to get ready for the press conference.

* * *

Six hours later and Elliot and Olivia were pulling up at a crime scene they'd been called to. The body of Mathew Miller had been found and Olivia was blaming herself.

"What happened to him?" Olivia asked Melinda as she crouched down beside the body.

"He was sodomised pre mortem and then asphyxiated, see the ligature mark here?"

"Yeah." Olivia replied getting to her feet again.

"I'll tell you more when I get him on the table but from what I can see he was handcuffed." Melinda said using her pen to raise the sleeves of the jumper Miller was wearing.

"Shit." Olivia sighed before walking off.

"Liv this isn't your fault." Elliot told her knowing exactly what was going through her mind as she leant against the car.

"I'm the one who made the appeal Elliot, I'm the one who asked for Mathew's safe return and then they kill him what am I supposed to feel other than guilt?" She bit.

He sighed and looked around the area of Central Park that they were in, a place that held so much beauty normally suddenly felt cold and looked ugly, especially with CSU all over the place trying to find something that would help them close the case.

"You are not to blame, the only person or people to blame are the ones who killed him ok?" He told her as he grabbed her shoulders tempted to shake some sense into her.

"Sure, come on let's go back to the house." Olivia sighed before getting in the car.

As soon as they were on their way Elliot decided to try and talk to her, something was going on with her and that was obvious, but he didn't know what, he didn't know anything but he felt like he needed to know because whatever it was had started to affect her in her work which Olivia didn't let happen.

"What's bothering you Liv?" Elliot asked.

"A kid is dead, a kid we should have been looking for." Olivia snapped.

"Nah there's something else going on in that head of yours." He replied simply, he hoped that he would be able to get through to her.

"No El there isn't so will you drop this?" She asked angrily.

"No I won't, is it Ellis? Is he abusing you or something?" Elliot had the most horrible visions going around in his head.

"No! B isn't abusing me! I can't even believe that you thought that, everything between me and Bayard is fine, great actually and just because I have something going on in my privet life don't insinuate that it's anything to do with my boyfriend because he has nothing to do with it Elliot." She snapped, she was in shock that he'd even asked her such a ridiculous thing, first Bayard would never lay a hand on her and secondly she knew she would be able to take him down herself so she wouldn't have a problem if he ever tried to do such a thing.

"Ok! I'm sorry I just hate seeing you look so lost Liv." He explained.

"Just drop it El, if I wanted you to know I'd tell you ok?" She sighed and Elliot just nodded in reply.

Back at the precinct Olivia went straight to her desk and dropped her head in her hands, this case was getting to her more than usual.

"What's with Benson?" Cragen asked as he met Elliot at his office door.

"Dunno, a combination of guilt and something going on in her privet life that she refuses to tell me about." Elliot replied as his eyes scanned over his partner, she looked emotionally drained, her skin was paler and her shoulders were hunched.

Cragen looked suddenly pale too at the mention of something going on in her privet life which Elliot didn't fail to notice, he decided however not to say anything to the Captain yet, he had no right to after all but Elliot was now trying to put two and two together.

"Benson!" Cragen yelled making her jump.

"Yes Cap'n?" She called back.

"Huang's upstairs go pay him a visit." Cragen told her.

"What?" She yelled jumping to her feet. "Cap I'm fine I don't need a shrink!" Olivia snapped.

"I want you to talk to Huang or find yourself off this case Olivia." He yelled back.

"Why?" She replied angrily, she didn't understand his reasoning.

"I don't have to give you a reason Detective, talk to the shrink now that's an order!" He snapped.

Olivia glared at him and then at Elliot before marching up to the lounge where she knew the shrink would be sat looking over some case files.

"What's going on cap?" Elliot asked him seriously.

"What do you mean?" Cragen asked turning to the Detective beside him.

"I don't know but why send Benson to see a shrink? She's dealt with worse." He explained.

"You said it yourself, something is going on in her privet life and if it's affecting her work then she needs to talk it out." Cragen replied but Elliot knew there was something more going on that his superior wasn't going to tell him.

Upstairs, Olivia sat down on the couch opposite the couch Huang was occupying, she really didn't understand Cragen's want for her to see a shrink but she didn't want to be thrown off the case, she also didn't understand why he was so angry towards her but that could wait for now, he would go and see her superior after talking with the shrink and find out what on earth was going on.

"Olivia?" Huang finally asked when she'd sat in silence for a few minutes.

She was sat with her elbows resting on her knees and her hands clasped together completely muted, she didn't know what to say and in her frustration she couldn't sit still either. She got up and walked behind the couch so she could pace.

Huang could see something was really bothering the Detective, so he put down his files and sat back hoping he could get her to talk.

"Did Cragen ask you to come and talk to me?" Huang asked.

"Yes." She replied without even looking at him, still pacing up and down behind the couch.

"Ok what about?" Huang asked.

"I don't know." She spat through gritted teeth.

"You want to tell me about the case you're working?" Huang asked gently, knowing nine times out of ten it was the reason the Detectives were made to talk to him.

"Not really." Olivia replied before stopping and leaning on the back of the couch finally looking the psychiatrist in the eye. "There's a fifteen year old kid who's dead and I can't stop blaming myself." Olivia explained.

"Why do you think it's your fault?" He asked.

"I was the one who did the press conference, I'm the one who made the appeal and I'm trying to think what I said or what I did that might have given them a reason to kill him but my mind his so cluttered at the moment I can't remember." She explained not realising he'd given the psychiatrist an opening.

"What's making your mind cluttered?" as you put it." He asked.

"I'm sorry?" He Olivia replied shaking her head.

"You said your mind was cluttered, what's causing that?" He asked again just rewording the question in the hope she'd answer it.

"It doesn't matter." She shrugged putting her hand in her jacket pocket where the letter off her father now lay, for some reason she wanted to have it close.

"Why don't you think it matters?" Huang asked hoping to be able to get something out of her.

"Because it's personal, it's not work it's nothing to do with work." She explained harshly.

"But it's to do with you, your life." Huang replied.

"It's …" Olivia sighed, there was no way of getting around this but she didn't want to tell Huang.

He decided to take a different route to getting her to open up.

"I heard you were in a new relationship, how's that going?" Huang asked noticing that Olivia's features softened instantly at the mention of her relationship which could mean that whatever was bothering her wasn't to do with him.

"It's going really good." Olivia said softly. "Perfect in fact."

"Sit down and tell me about him." Huang replied hoping this tactic would work.

Olivia sighed softly and went back round to sit on the couch this time without as much worry in her eyes.

"He's Bayard Ellis the defence attorney." Olivia told the shrink, he was surprised but managed to keep it from his face.

"Ok tell me something about him that's not common knowledge, his personality outside the courtroom." Huang tried.

"He likes cuddling on the couch and listening to Celine Dion." Olivia laughed softly, she loved thinking about her relationship with Bayard, he made her feel warm inside in a way no one had ever done before. "He likes drinking coffee over bagels or muffins and likes smiling."

It was obvious by the twinkle in her eye that Olivia cared deeply for the man she was talking about, she seemed to relax a little and Huang was going to use this to his advantage.

"Does he know what's been going on in your personal life?" Huang asked.

"Yeah." Olivia nodded, she probably wouldn't have handled it if it wasn't for Bayard.

"And what does he say about it all?" Huang continued.

"That whatever I decide to do about it he'll be there for me." Olivia said with a gentle smile.

"It's good that you have some support in place but do you tell him how you feel about the issue?" He asked.

"We've only been together a few days George I don't want to scare him away." She laughed uncomfortably.

"He said he'd be there for you though Olivia, isn't that saying he wants to be there for you in every way?" Huang asked.

"I don't know …"

"Benson!" A cry from downstairs came.

Olivia sighed and rushed off feeling quite pleased to be getting the hell away from Huang who always seemed to get inside her head.

Cragen was stood waiting for her at the bottom of the steps with an apologetic look on his face. Olivia felt nervous and quietly followed him to the office with all the eyes in the bullpen watching them go, she started to know what a perp walk felt like for the perp.

Once the office door closed Cragen went round to the side of the desk and handed over a blue warrant.

"You've been served." He told her.

Nervously she took the paper and opened it to find she was being sued.

"The Miller's family are suing me?" She asked in shock.

"What's the reason?" Cragen asked.

"They're blaming me for Mathew's death." She whispered as she bit back her tears.

"You're going to need a lawyer." Cragen told her the apologetic look still on her face.

"Yeah… uh can I take a personal day?" She asked her eyes still glued to the blue paper.

"Take tomorrow too, you have enough days built up." He told her.

"Thanks." She muttered before rushing out to grab her stuff and go.

* * *

Olivia rushed into the building, she didn't know why she'd come here, why come to see this person but right now it's the only person she thought could help her. She rushed to the receptionist and she realised she must have had a worried expression on her face.

"Detective Benson right?" The receptionist asked with a soft smile.

"Yeah is Bayard around?" She asked.

"Yeah he's in his office." She smiled pointing down the corridor.

"Thanks." Olivia replied before rushing off.

She knocked lightly on the glass door and he looked up and smiled at her.

"What are you doing here?" He smiled as she opened the door.

"I need your help." She whispered as he wrapped his arms around her.

"Why what's happened?" He asked pulling out of the embrace to look her in the eye.

She pulled the warrant from her purse and handed it over to him. He went round to the back of the desk and sat in his chair while Olivia stood with one arm across her chest and the other hand rubbing her top lift nervously.

He was quiet for several moments as he read through what she was being charged with. The brother of Mr Miller was suing Olivia for causing Mathew's murder and as he read through the details a frown appeared on his face.

"Have you investigated him as a suspect?" Bayard asked.

"Who Mr Miller's brother?" Olivia asked and Bayard nodded in reply. "No why?"

"I think you should, or you should mention it to your partner." He explained.

"I don't under…"

"I wouldn't be surprised if he's suing you so that you'll be so caught up in the law suit you won't think of him as a suspect, because I don't think this is about money the Miller's are a wealthy bunch of people." Ellis explained further.

"So what do I do?" Olivia asked.

"Let your partner know and then we go to court." He explained.

"We?" Olivia asked.

"I'll represent you for this Olivia, you can't ignore it but I can do my best to make it go away." Bayard said softly.

"Isn't that a conflict of interest or something?" She asked feeling a little better knowing he was going to take the case, she trusted him.

"Nope, I'm representing you not prosecuting one of your cases or defending one of your perps. This is completely ok." He informed her and nodded gratefully.

"Thank you." She told him.

"I'd do anything for you Olivia and I will make sure that we win." He replied. "I just need your partner to get to finding out if he could be your killer."

"Ok I'll let Elliot know." She said whipping out her phone.

"In the meantime do you have to go back to work?" He asked.

"Nope and I'm off tomorrow too." Olivia smiled.

"Then how about dinner at my place, we'll get a pizza and watch a movie or something." He smiled.

Olivia just nodded, the law suit leaving her mind for a while as she thought about spending the evening with her boyfriend which she couldn't wait to begin.


	5. Chapter 5

**Ok now this is the SMUT chapter, I actually found writing this different seeing as Chris Meloni/Elliot Stabler is a sex god writing his SMUT scenes are easy but writing it here was difficult because Bayard Ellis, yes he's attractive but he is no Elliot Stabler. But I hope you enjoy it anyway and you can skip the SMUT too it doesn't affect the story.**

**PS this is just a filler smut scene so after their conversation you can skip if you don't want to read the smut, I've tried to keep it clean. **

Olivia and Bayard had kept the conversation light over dinner, they talked about work and some of their pasts but the good aspects only, now they were watching a third chick flick and Olivia felt like she couldn't just sit in silence anymore. She reached over and took the remote control and paused the video bringing Bayard's attention to her.

"What is it Olivia?" He asked as he stroked his hand through her hair.

"I wanted … would you mind if I talked to you about my Dad?" She asked nervously.

"Of course not, Olivia I don't want you to think I'd ever mind you talking about anything that's on your mind, I want to be here for you in any and every way." He told her firmly. "So what about your Dad?"

"I think … I've been thinking and I think I want to find out what he meant in his letter." Olivia explained.

"Ok." Bayard replied guessing there was more to come.

"Whether I like it or not he's my father but I don't want to ask him yet I want to know, and the only way I think I can do that is to go and speak with Simon's Mom." Olivia explained further.

"So you're going to?" He asked.

"Tomorrow, seeing as I have the day I thought I'd drive over to Jersey and see her maybe call in to see Simon along the way." She added.

"Do you want me to come?" He asked. "I can take the day if you want me too, I mean, I'm my own boss so I don't have to work if I don't want to."

"No, I think this is something I should do on my own B, you don't mind right?" Olivia didn't want him to think that she was pushing him away.

"Of course I don't mind, I'll work on the law suit tomorrow, pop into SVU see what they can tell me about the man suing you and then how about tomorrow night we go for dinner and you can tell me all about meeting your brother's Mom." Bayard smiled.

"I'd really like that." She smiled back before leaning in to kiss him.

This time there was no pulling away. The kiss became deeper and feistier, her hands wrapped around his neck and one of his wrapped around her hair while the other stroked up and down her back. This had been coming since they had started dating and tonight just seemed like the right night.

He made the first move by slipping his hand up her sweater, he felt her back arch under his touch his fingers dancing along her spine leaving goose pimples in their wake. Once she was sure this was going further she slipped her hands to the front and began pulling on his tie.

"Bedroom?" He mumbled.

"Yeah." She said into his mouth.

He stood up and as her mouth went to his cheek he wrapped his hands around her waist and lifted her up, she wrapped her legs around his waist and smiled at him as he carried her into his bedroom.

He placed Olivia carefully on the king size four poster bed and she used the tie hanging loosely around his neck to pull him down to her. Their lips crashed into each other, fighting for dominance as their kiss became frenzied. She tugged at his tie and pushed his unbuttoned shirt off his shoulders. He sat her up before he finished taking off his shirt and then held her in one arm as he removed her sweater and tank top at the same time leaving her in a black lace bra.

"You're so beautiful." He whispered into her ear as she kissed his neck softly. His hands roamed up and down her back, tracing each vertebra in her spine before he got to her bra clasp. He managed to get it off easily, and slowly he eased the straps down her arms until he could drop the garment on the floor. He then lay her back on the bed. Her full bust visible to him now in all their glory. He kissed her, felt her hardened nipples brush against his own bare chest as their kiss deepened again. Her hands stroked down his arms, feeling every curve and muscle.

His fingers stroked down her shoulders then back to her neck before slowly moving downwards and outwards just skimming her breasts making her gasp quietly into his ear. He stroked all the way down to her hip and then back up again, taking his time to feel the smoothness of her skin, to memorize the shape of her body.

He then kissed down her neck to her collarbone, his kisses soft and gentle travelling further south until he reached her breasts, he kissed each one, almost like he was taking the time to worship them both equally. Olivia was feeling self-conscious, she was more used to men being rougher.

After working her breasts for a few minutes he went back up to her mouth, both of them were breathing a little heavier as they kissed softly, this wasn't about sex for either of them, tonight something special was happening between them.

Olivia made the first move to take it further. She slipped her hands down his chest until she arrived at his belt. She fingered the cold metal buckle for a few seconds before she began to undo it. Bayard took this as his ok to work on her work slacks.

It took minutes for them both to remove their trousers and underwear and there was no hesitation from either party. He entered her in one slow movement, taking his time to feel her immersing his thick shaft.

She moaned in pleasure, her legs opening wider the further into her he slipped. Once in the whole way he looked deep into her eyes and saw the one thing he wanted to see, love, and she saw it reflected back in his too. He smiled at her, clasped one of her hands in his own while the other supported his weight. He pressed his lips to each knuckle before gently putting their hands in between their chest, the back of her hand on his and the back of his hand on hers, he wanted to feel her heart beat increase as he worked her into ecstasy.

Which is exactly what he did. They moved slowly, her hips met his thrust for thrust, as their movements increased their arousal it increased their heart rate in turn increasing their speed. They melted away into loud moans of pleasure and enjoyment, but their eyes stayed locked on each other. He could see that she was getting closer as much as he could feel his own climax approaching. He held her hand tighter in his own sweaty palm, the perspiration thick on their naked bodies, her hair stuck to her cheeks, her bangs glued to her forehead.

They reached their ultimate goal in complete tandem, their bodies contorting, their moans increasing in pitch but still their eyes kept on each other. Once done she pulled him down and kissed him softly, never wanting this moment with him to end because for the first time she felt like she belonged, and here was that place in his arms.

They didn't speak, no words needed to be said as he slipped out of her and they climbed under the comforter. They wrapped up into each other, held each other's naked bodies as they drifted off into a perfect sleep.


	6. Chapter 6

**So on with the story!**

The next morning Olivia was woken up by the unfamiliar alarm. She heard Bayard groan beside her and smiled, he was still holding her naked frame to him and he seemed like he was too warm to even think of moving.

"You gonna turn that off?" Olivia asked softly, she didn't want to move either.

Whatever her mumbled was inaudible and Olivia figured out that Bayard wasn't a morning person. She heard his hand smack the clock a few times before the loud beeping finally subsided and the arm snaked around her body again.

"What time is it?" She asked not knowing what time he woke normally.

"Five thirty." He replied.

"That's early." Olivia replied.

"Yeah I know that's why we can have a few more minutes here." He smiled, his eyes still closed as he kissed the nearest bit of Olivia's skin which happened to be her shoulder blade.

"You've got to go to work." She replied.

"Don't have to, I'm boss." He mumbled making Olivia chuckle again.

"Ok well I need to get home …" Olivia was interrupted by the shrill ringtone she'd set for Elliot, Suspects, Alibis and partners in crime by Chasing Victory, it wasn't music she was particularly a fan of but after she'd heard it she knew it had to be the song for Elliot's ringtone. "I have to get that." She sighed pushing back the duvet and shivering as the cold morning air hit her naked skin.

Bayard smiled as she picked up his shirt from the floor and pulled it on her shoulders and went to the living room where she'd left her phone.

"Benson." She answered struggling to close a button on the shirt with one hand.

"Liv thank God where are you?" Elliot was obviously worried.

"Why? El what's happened?" Olivia's heart hammered viciously in her chest and as Bayard heard her reply he came rushing out the bedroom in his robe.

"Cragen got a video this morning and it was a threat towards you Liv, so he sent me and Fin to your apartment and someone broke in, the door was open and the place is trashed, we thought someone had taken you now where are you?"

Olivia clutched Bayard's hand as she trembled, she couldn't believe this was happening on top of everything else.

"Liv where are you?" He yelled as she still hadn't answered.

"I'm at Bayard's apartment." She whispered hoarsely.

"Ok stay there and text me the address and we're coming to pick you up, Cragen wants you at the house today." Elliot explained before hanging up.

Olivia quickly sent over the address and just turned and wrapped her arms around Bayard. He slowly lowered them both to the couch and held her trembling figure tightly.

"What's happened Olivia?" Bayard asked softly.

"Someone … a threat at the precinct … my apartment's been trashed … El is on his way." She whispered.

"Ok Princess I've got you." He whispered holding her tight, he couldn't believe that this was happening.

He held her for fifteen minutes until there was a knock at the door, neither one of them remembering that they were only just about covering their naked bodies, her with Bayard's shirt and him with his robe.

Bayard let go of Olivia to go and let the men into his apartment. Elliot looked visibly shaken and he rushed over to his partner and wrapped her up in an embrace, the relief flooding his body as he saw that she was alright.

"I'm so happy to see you." He laughed as he held her.

Olivia didn't reply, she was still in a state of shock.

Bayard went to make everyone a coffee while the three Detectives sat in silence. Olivia was curled on the couch and had pulled the comforter Bayard kept on the back of it over herself while Elliot held her hand and Fin sat on the chair talking with Cragen.

"We've got her, she's safe just a bit shaken." Fin informed their superior just as Bayard brought the coffee's through.

Elliot then realised it wasn't his position to comfort his partner and took the second arm chair so Bayard could pull her into his arms. He kissed the top of her head and raked his hand through her hair somehow helping her relax a little even though she still hadn't spoken, she was still in a state of shock and couldn't even begin to comprehend what was happening.

"Olivia…" Fin started as soon as he'd hung up the phone.

She looked at him, her brown eyes blinking softly, the fear obvious.

"Cragen wants you to come in to the precinct, he wants you to see the footage." Fin explained.

She nodded and just gripped Bayard's robe tighter.

"We'll go together." He told her. "I'm not leaving you."

Again she just nodded and closed her eyes not wanting to let out the tears that were threatening to fall.

"We need to get dressed Princess." He whispered even though he knew Fin and Elliot had now noticed their attire.

Olivia nodded again and slowly pulled herself from Bayard's grip to go back to the bedroom. Once Bayard had shut the door behind them he pulled her into an embrace.

"I won't let anything happen to you Olivia, I promise." He whispered. "Now we'll get dressed and we'll go to the precinct and we'll find out who is doing this."

* * *

Olivia had barely been able to function, instead of redressing in her own clothes she'd kept on Bayard's shirt and wrapped her belt around her waist to hold it in place, it smelt like his cologne and brought her some comfort, and Bayard had no objections, she looked great in his clothes. She'd slipped on her slacks and jacket and held tight to his hand the whole way.

Now at the precinct she was sat in Don Cragen's office in front of a blank TV screen.

"Now are you sure you want to do this Olivia?" Cragen asked gently.

"Just do it." She replied her voice a mere whisper thick with fear.

Don Cragen pressed the play button and walked behind the couple so that they could see the TV.

A man was sat in a chair in what appeared to be a blank windowless room, his face was distorted and he was wearing all black including gloves.

"Detective Benson, this message is for you," A voice echoed around the room, it also had been distorted. "You've played one too many dangerous games and now you have to pay, watch your step little lady because we're coming to get you."

With that the tape went off and all that was left on the screen was snow.

No one moved. No one even breathed for a few seconds.

"Olivia?" Bayard asked turning to face her.

"I'm ok." She whispered trying to hide how close her tears were.

"Like hell you are." Bayard replied pulling her into his arms where she couldn't keep the tears at bay.

It was unusual for Olivia to be hit so hard by a threat but with the issues with her father, the impending law suit and now this, she couldn't hold it together anymore.

As Bayard soothed Olivia, Don looked at Elliot, they were both extremely worried about Olivia, her emotional state and her safety.

Elliot felt disturbed, he knew Olivia didn't get scared from some threat even if the threat was scary, he also knew she had a lot on her mind which just worried him more, she wasn't think straight, she wasn't thinking like a cop.

"I want you to stay here today Liv, I also want you to sit down with Huang again." Cragen said once her sobs had subsided.

"Ok, you'll stay?" She looked up at Bayard.

"I'm going nowhere." He told her firmly and she nodded grateful to him, she couldn't bare being alone right now and a threat towards her was a threat towards the people she cared about. "And if you don't want to go home you can stay in mine tonight, we'll go and pick some stuff up for you ok?" He told her and she gave his hand a little squeeze.

"We need you to answer some questions and then you can talk to Huang." Cragen said nodding his head towards the interview room.

"Yeah sure." Olivia nodded.

"Olivia I'm going to go to the office and grab some papers but I'll be back before you finish talking with the Doctor ok?" He said gently.

"Sure." Olivia replied, she was slowly becoming numb.

Olivia went through to the interview room where she was joined by Fin and Elliot, she sat down on the red couch and clasped her hands together as she bounced her knees up and down.

"She's nervous." George Huang said, he was stood with Don Cragen outside the two way.

"Wouldn't you be?" Don replied, Olivia being nervous wasn't a sign of anything.

"I didn't get anything out of her yesterday Don but what I can tell you is that yesterday she had a lot on her mind and that was before she was slapped with a law suit and someone made a threat against her." Huang explained.

"I know." Don sighed.

"What do you mean you know?" Huang asked.

"I know what's on Olivia's mind." Don explained just before Elliot's voice travelled through the intercom stopping their conversation.

"Olivia can you think of anyone who would threaten you?" Elliot asked.

"Perps, perps families, victims who think I failed them, victims' families." Olivia replied knowing that she was stating the obvious.

"Anyone else? Anyone in your personal life?" Elliot asked having already guessed the obvious.

"No. The only person in my personal life is Bayard." Olivia replied. "And just in case you didn't know he was with me all night at his place so he didn't trash my apartment.

"What about Simon?" Elliot asked.

"What about him?" Olivia snapped.

George looked at Don, he didn't react to the name Simon but he had and so had Fin.

"Who's Simon?" Huang asked.

"Olivia's brother." Don replied coolly without explaining to the Doctor how he knew that.

"Could Simon have anything to do with this?" Elliot asked.

"No." Olivia replied shaking her head.

"Can you be sure Olivia you've only known him a few days…"

"No. He's my brother Elliot, he wouldn't … he couldn't …" Olivia was frustrated because the truth was she knew nothing about Simon Marsden, he may have been her brother but he was still a stranger.

"Ok has anything seemed off, have you noticed anyone following you?" Elliot asked getting a little desperate. "Anything unusual you can think of Liv."

"Well there are the phone calls, then there was the man at the ice rink and then the letter but then …"

"Ok the phone calls, those the ones where no one spoke?" Elliot asked knowing Olivia's fear was the winning emotion and when she was scared she rambled.

"Yeah." Olivia nodded.

"Ok and what about the man at the ice rink?" Elliot asked.

"Bayard and I went ice skating, we were being childish, just messing about and Bayard pointed out a man and said he'd taken photos of us but I told him to forget about it." Olivia explained.

"Ok we'll need to ask Bayard about that then and what about the letter Liv?" Elliot continued.

Olivia's jaw clamped shut. She wasn't supposed to tell him about the letter, it was off her Dad not some crazed psycho who was after her.

"Liv?" Elliot asked.

"I can't tell you what's in the letter, not yet, its privet." Olivia replied.

"Olivia …"

"It has nothing to do with this case, it was unusual yes, delivered in an unusual manner but please don't ask me who it's from or what it contains because I can't tell you." Olivia was close to pleading.

"Ok what do you mean delivered in an unusual manner?" Elliot asked deciding he could ask about the letter itself after.

"B and I were at my place eating Chinese when my buzzer went off, I went to answer it and no one replied, I walked back to the living room and it went off again. I grabbed my gun told B to call you if I wasn't back in five minutes, I went down and there was no one there just a stick and a note trapping my buzzer so it would ring continuously." Olivia explained.

"Liv we need to know who the letter is from." Elliot informed her.

"No you don't, I am not holding anything that you need to know back El, please listen to me when I say that the person who sent me the letter is not the perp." She was pleading now, her eyes screamed desperation.

"Ok, ok fine but if we come to any dead ends with the case Olivia we will need to see that letter now where is it?" He asked.

"In my pocket and I promise you, if you come to a dead end you can have it but I have my own investigation to do involving the letter and it has nothing to do with the person who threatened me, you just have to believe me on that or ask B who knows who sent it."

**I know you're all probably really confused with so much going on the relationship/miller case/simon/jo Hollister/law suit and now threat but I hope it will all start to make sense once it's written lol!**


	7. Chapter 7

**So on with the story!**

After talking with Elliot and Fin she stayed where she was for Huang to come in. She was caressing her finger along the letter in her pocket, she knew now she had to find out more, before Fin and Elliot asked her for a copy of the letter, they would have questions and she needed to have some answers.

Meanwhile in Cragen's office Elliot and Fin spoke with their Captain and the psychiatrist.

"What I want to know is what's the letter she's talking about, how can she be so sure that it has nothing to do with the threat?" Elliot was frustrated, someone had threatened his partner and his best friend and he wasn't ok with that.

"She can't be but I can tell you she wants it to be true but take my word for it, that letter has nothing to do with why she's been threatened." Cragen replied simply.

"How would you know?" Fin asked rudely.

"It doesn't matter how I know, all that matters is that I do know that the letter will not help you on your investigation in anyway so don't even mention it to Olivia again." Cragen replied, he wished he could tell his detectives what was in the letter that Olivia had and what it meant but he couldn't, the only person who could do that was Olivia and she didn't even know yet.

"Well I'm going to see how she's doing." George said sensing his presence wasn't required in the room anymore.

He walked to the interview room and found Olivia sat with her hand clasped and bouncing her legs, she always did that when she was nervous.

"How are you Olivia?" He asked as he placed his notebook on the table and turned the chair so he could look at the detective.

"I'm fine." She replied yet Huang raised his eyebrow knowing she was lying.

"Ok, so what's worrying you at the moment?" Huang asked making Olivia frown, she'd said she was fine yet he asked what she was worried about.

"I'm not worried about being threatened, I know Elliot and Fin will find who did it." Olivia stated.

"So you are worried about something?" Huang asked and Olivia slowly realised what she said and just nodded.

"I'm… I'm worried about getting answers to questions I'm not sure I want the answers to." Olivia replied cryptically and Huang scribbled it down.

"Do I get to know what these questions are or what they concern?"

"They concern me." Olivia replied, she wasn't going to give the game away that easy.

"You don't want to tell me about this do you." It was a statement of facet not a question.

"It's none of your business, nor anyone else's for that matter." Olivia snapped, she was always angry when she was scared.

"But you've told Bayard." Huang pointed out.

"Of course I have, he's my boyfriend." Olivia replied.

"It's good that you have someone to talk about this to Olivia." Huang replied.

"Listen George if you're just going to go around in circles I have things to be getting on with." Olivia said getting to her feet, she wanted to start finding out what was the meaning of the letter.

"You do what you need to do Olivia but just remember my door's always open." Huang replied and Olivia gave him a curt nod and she rushed out.

* * *

Olivia walked to her desk and found Bayard sitting there with a bouquet of white roses, two cups of coffee and a bag containing bagels.

"Hey." She smiled, feeling only happiness for the minute.

"Feeling ok?" He asked.

"Yeah, they're beautiful thank you." She smiled wrapping her arms around his neck and planting a gentle kiss on his nose.

"So …" They both sat down, Olivia in her desk chair and Bayard in the chair beside the desk.

She pushed her chair closer to his and they started eating breakfast.

"So I looked over the law suit and I'm going to file a motion to supress the video footage of the press conference." Bayard explained.

"Isn't that what the whole thing is about?" Olivia replied.

"Exactly, we'll have to go to court still but if they throw it out then the case will fall apart." Bayard replied.

"You think they will throw it out?" Olivia asked.

"You were just doing your job Olivia, doing what you were told to do." Bayard replied, it wasn't a yes or a no answer but Olivia settled for it.

Olivia and Bayard ate in near silence after that, she didn't have anything more to say for a minute she needed to think things through.

After they'd eat Olivia decided to tell Bayard what she had planned.

"I'm going to go and visit Simon's Mom." Olivia informed him.

"Do you think that's a good idea while threats are being made against you?" Bayard asked softly, he knew that once she'd made her mind up there was no going back.

"I have to do this, I can't work the two cases open here so I'll work my own case, the letter means something and it's something I'm supposed to find out." Olivia explained. "I'll let Cragen put a protective detail on me if it settles everyone's mind." Olivia sighed, she didn't want to admit a weakness but she was scared especially with so many things going on in her head.

"Let me come Olivia, please? I'll stay in the car if necessary." Bayard was scared too and he wanted to do what he could to protect Olivia even if she was the one who carried the gun.

"I want you with me." She whispered.

* * *

Cragen had made sure there was a protective detail on Olivia and Bayard, he wasn't happy that she was running off but he couldn't tell her that he actually understood and knew what she was doing.

She was now in Jersey, driving towards the location of Simon's Mom's house. She was nervous, she didn't know how much this woman would be able to tell her but she hoped she would get something, anything that would help her find out what was really meant in the letter that her father had sent her, there had to be something, something maybe her own Mom could have told her had she not died.

"You ok?" Bayard asked as they pulled up outside the house, the protective detail stopping a few miles back.

"I'm fine." She replied shakily as she pulled off her belt.

She was nervously chewing on her bottom lip as they walked up to the front door, she knocked lightly and then slipped her hand into Bayard's, needing to feel his comfort.

"Hello?"

"Hi my name's Olivia Benson, uh I'm here to see Ms Marsden." Olivia said nervously.

"Of course, Simon said you'd come by." The nurse smiled opening the door wider to let them in. "I'm Karina Tabitha's nurse."

"This is Bayard my boyfriend." Olivia replied and the two shook hands.

"I don't know what you want to know from Tabitha, Simon was scarce with the details but I will warn you, she's not even lucid half the time and she can be talking then lose her train of thought and she won't even remember what she was talking about." Karina explained.

"Ok, thank you." Olivia smiled just before they went into a room.

"Tabitha, this is Olivia and Bayard, Simon told you that Olivia might come around remember?" She spoke softly to the elderly woman sat in an armchair looking out the window.

Olivia could see that her brother looked a lot more like his Mom than their Dad, he had the same piercing blue eyes whereas hers and her fathers were dark brown.

"Have we met?" Tabitha Marsden asked Olivia.

"I don't think so." Olivia replied going over to the couch opposite the arm chair.

"Joe … he had a picture, lots of pictures … Karina the album, the blue photo album on the top shelf." Tabitha Marsden pointed and Karina went over and took down the photo album.

Tabitha opened it at the front but the pictures were of a baby, there was no way of saying if the baby in the picture was the same person as the woman in front of her.

She flicked to the back and Olivia was trying to look but she didn't have to wait long before Ms Marsden turned the album for her to take.

Olivia suppressed a gasp but started shaking with fear.

"Olivia?" Bayard asked in a near whisper.

"Ms Marsden where did you get these?" Olivia asked.

"They were Joe's, he told me they were pictures of his little girl and that someday he would meet her, someday she would know the truth." Tabitha replied.

Tears pooled Olivia's eyes as she ran her finger across the picture in front of her, a picture she had always looked at with pride.

"He tried to call her once, said her mother picked up so he couldn't tell her anything and just hung up, said he met her once too, when she was about eight years old in central park, there's a picture in there of them." Ms Marsden said.

Olivia quickly flicked through the album and the more pictures that went passed the more her hands trembled. She found the picture. An eight year old girl was being pushed on the swing by an older man and she swallowed the lump in her throat, she remembered that day and she remembered that man too, he had been so kind when she struggled to push herself on the swing, he was there with his son … Simon. How did she not remember this day.

"Ms Marsden could I take this?" She asked.

"Who are you?" Ms Marsden asked.

"Please Ms Marsden can I borrow this, I'll make sure to return it to Simon." Olivia was pleading.

"Are you Simon's girlfriend?"

"No I'm Simon's sister, Joe is my Dad." She told the elderly woman.

"Simon doesn't know but he always wanted a sister." Ms Marsden replied.

"Ms Marsden please may I borrow this album?" Olivia asked again.

"Of course you can, actually you can keep it, I don't know why I bothered to hold onto it, probably because it was special to Joe all those pictures of his darling daughter over the years." Ms Marsden gave her a smile. "Now Karina I want to go to bed I'm tired."

"You two will have to leave now, come back soon though, she doesn't get many visitors and she was more lucid today than I have seen her in years, Simon is the only one who has that effect on her." Karina smiled.

Once outside Olivia but back a sob, she didn't want to cry over this.

"Olivia what's with the pictures?" Bayard asked as soon as they were in the car.

Olivia flicked over to the last picture in the book and handed it over to Bayard.

"That is me when I graduated the academy." She explained.

Bayard looked at the picture more closely and he could see it, that was definitely Olivia in full dress blues with the most stunning smile he'd ever seen, the pride danced in her eyes and the happiness was not put on, it was real and it emulated from the picture and warmed up his heart.

"He's been watching me my whole life." Olivia sighed as they pulled out of the road and headed back to New York.

"Olivia who do you think took the picture of you and your father at the park?" Bayard asked flicking back to that picture.

"I don't know, something I might ask him when and if I ever meet him." She replied her hands shaking on the steering wheel.

The rest of the ride to New York was silent, Olivia was too lost in her own thoughts to even begin trying to hold a conversation and Bayard sensed she needed to think, the truth was, he needed to think to, he was falling deeply in love with the woman beside him and he had never felt the connection he had with her ever before, but he also understood that she was scared of love, scared of being dependant and he knew should he tell her the truth about his feelings too soon then she'd run and she wouldn't look back.

Once back in New York they went straight back to the precinct. Olivia placed the album in her drawer and locked it while Bayard took the seat beside her desk.

"So what now?" He finally asked breaking the comfortable silence they had been enjoying.

"I need to find out more about Joseph Hollister." She replied turning to her computer.

As soon as it was on she started searching for birth records, job records, properties, anything she could find until she was blue in the face. Bayard had been sat going over the law suit knowing that while they both worked they wouldn't remember the trouble they'd found themselves in, someone had threatened Olivia and trashed her apartment but while they were working they weren't even thinking about that.

Three hours later Olivia was stood in the media room with tens of pieces of paper. None of it made sense to her and it was starting to get frustrating.

Don Cragen came into the room and found her shifting through the papers, he wondered what she was doing, if it still involved her investigation.

"What's all this Liv?" He asked casually.

"Information pertaining to one Joseph Hollister." She sighed the frustration pertinent.

"Who's that?" Don asked trying not to give too much away.

"My Dad." Olivia replied and Don nodded.

"Ok so what are all these." He asked signalling to the desk strewn with papers.

"Everything I can find on him in public record. I have his wedding license, every job he's ever had if he paid taxes but the thing is there is nothing about him till 1967." Olivia explained. "It's like before 1967 he didn't even exist."

"Ok." Don nodded, he couldn't give too much away yet, it wasn't the time too.

"It doesn't make sense he raped my Mom in 1967." Olivia replied shaking her head in confusion. "There are no birth records so I checked Interpol and there is nothing he isn't an immigrant which I should have known his DNA would have been in the system … this is so frustrating, he watched me, for the past forty years he's watched me, he knows about me but I know so little about him and he's supposed to be my Dad, then there's Simon, and then the letter, what on earth is going on?" She was rambling to herself out loud forgetting that Don Cragen was even in the room.

"Olivia how many times have we come across people who didn't exist till a certain point in their life?" Don asked hoping to give her the heads up.

"Numerous times why?" Olivia asked not getting the point he was trying to make.

"Can you remember why?" He asked and she shook her head for a moment before suddenly realisation dawned on her.

"He's in witsec." She whispered. "He's in witness protection so Joseph Hollister isn't or wasn't Joseph Hollister when he was born."

"Exactly, if I was you I'd look for well reported deaths in 1967 around the date Joseph Hollister first surfaced." Don explained before disappearing to his office, he'd already said too much, Olivia had to find everything out for herself or she wouldn't believe it.

Bayard was hard at work trying to figure out how he was going to stop the law suit against Olivia, Munch had already told him that they were looking at the brother as a suspect and that they had a few leads that Bayard could use to stop the law suit happening, but they had to be in court the next afternoon for the pre-trial motion he was trying to pass.

Olivia had gone down to the public offices hoping she could find newspaper articles that would help her find out who Joseph Hollister actually was. She was looking through a book of death records slowly scanning down each name. When she arrived at B she was shocked to the point she dropped the book, after picking it up she tried to tell herself it was only a coincidence, it didn't prove anything but her mind was working overtime and she had a feeling it wasn't a coincidence.

She photocopied the page and rushed off back to the precinct, her mind still going one hundred miles per hour. She could sense Bayard's eyes watching her intently but she was working, she had to know if this was a possibility. Once on the internet she found dozens of newspaper articles and printed them off before reading them closely.

Oliver Benson, a well-respected defence attorney was shot dead on the steps of the court house this morning, he was defending Craig Charles, the drug baron of Manhattan. Detective Don Cragen of Manhattan's Narcotics division says that the NYPD believe someone who worked for Craig Charles shot Mr Benson because of his chances of succeeding at clearing Charles.

Olivia's hands shook but then when she read it again Don Cragen's name screamed at her. If anyone knew he would know and so she glanced at his office door, now or never, she thought.

**Everything begins to get tangled up in a web now!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Thank you for ALL the lovely reviews, and thank you for your alerts and favourites too, I am very surprised at how much of you are now following this story, never thought it would be popular at all. **

Olivia didn't get the chance to talk to Don Cragen about the article. As she walked out of the media room she almost walked into Munch.

"Oh Liv I have some news for you." Munch said with a smile.

"And what's that?" Olivia asked.

"Miller paid out nearly half a million pounds to a man known for being a hit man, we're trying to find him now and I have a couple of the rookies pulling up the luds on his phone." Munch smiled.

"That's great news Munch uh keep up the good work." Olivia smiled.

"Thanks oh and Elliot is looking for you." He added and she smiled and went off to find out what her partner could want now.

She found that he was in an interrogation room with Fin, it was obvious that they were having an argument and rather than letting them know she was there she turned up the intercom and listened in.

"She has every right to know!" Fin spat angrily, this argument had been going on for ten minutes now and it was getting pretty tedious.

"Would you want to know?" Elliot yelled.

Olivia was trying to work out if they were talking about her or not, because they were supposed to be investigating the threat that was made towards her.

"Yes, I wouldn't want to read about it in the fives or hear about it in court, she has every right to know!" Fin spat he was visibly furious, Olivia was used to seeing his brow raised and pulled together wrinkling in his forehead when he was mad.

"She's going through enough right now!" Elliot argued.

"Olivia?" Bayard asked making her jump.

"Sorry." She whispered turning down the intercom cutting off the sound from the interrogation room where the argument continued.

"What's up?" He asked wrapping his arms around her.

"Just so tired of all of this." She explained just as the door opened and Elliot zoomed passed, Fin following however spotted Olivia and stopped.

"So what is it that he doesn't want me to know?" Olivia asked.

Fin sighed and handed her over the manila folder in his hand. Olivia took it and nodded at him and without a word he walked off.

Olivia found a CSU report and read through it trying to deny that she was reading about her own apartment.

"Olivia what is it?" Bayard asked using his hand to massage her shoulder, it was obvious that whatever she had read was affecting her deeply, her face paled and her body stiffened.

"They found fluids in my panty drawer." Olivia whispered.

"Semen." Bayard noted and Olivia nodded.

"There's a sick psycho after me B and for the first time I'm actually terrified." She whispered.

"Come on, let's go home." Bayard told her.

"I need to get my stuff B but I don't know if I can go into that apartment." Olivia explained.

Bayard nodded he understood that this was tough for her.

"Why don't I take you shopping? My treat?" He asked.

"I can't…"

"I want to Olivia, let me spoil you a little, you know, retail therapy." Bayard smiled and Olivia even managed a weak smile. "Let's go."

* * *

Bayard did spoil Olivia rotten, as well as buying her an outfit for court the next day he bought her a few pairs of jeans, tops and shirts and an entire drawer full of lingerie to replace the ones that would go into evidence.

Now at home she cuddled up on the couch under a comforter looking through all the papers she had gathered on her father and whoever Oliver Benson was, the more she looked the less she believed it was a coincidence.

Bayard was cooking in the kitchen, even though Olivia wasn't herself and had a lot going on he couldn't deny that he was happy to have her here with him, if she'd agree, he was hoping that he'd be able to persuade her to stay even after her apartment was cleared and the case closed.

"Dinner's almost ready." He smiled as Olivia came into the kitchen.

"Smells good." She smiled slipping her hands around his waist as he stirred the sauce.

"I hope you like meatballs." He told her as she rested her head on his shoulder blade.

"I do." She replied.

He slowly turned around and took her hands in his own.

"You sound defeated Princess." He told her.

"I've just had enough B, I want to just be happy with you but with the threat against me and then this whole crap with my father and the law suit, I just feel like I'm not able to give you as much as I want to." She explained weakly, she couldn't even look him in the eye she felt so bad.

"Hey." He said cupping her cheek in his hand forcing her to look at him as he stroked his thumb against her cheek bone. "When all of this is over, we can be happy … I'm not leaving you Olivia, even with the worry we both have about what's going on I'm still happier than I have ever been, I'm happy because you're here." He told her making her eyes glisten with tears, no one had ever said anything like that to her before. "Now put all your files away, pour us some wine and then dinner will be ready and we can try and relax before court tomorrow." He smiled.

"Ok." She nodded before leaning in and kissing him. "Thank you."

"Don't ever thank me for loving you Olivia." He said.

Olivia smiled and walked off his words echoing in her mind. 'Don't ever thank me for loving you.' Did that mean he loved her? Was he saying the three words without actually saying them, should she have said it back? Did she want to say it back? Her heart was beating so fast in her chest as she slowly gathered up the papers and placed them in the two folders, one on Joseph Hollister and one on Oliver Benson.

* * *

After enjoying their meal they went to bed. Olivia cuddled up on Bayard chest and he held a protective arm around her. Neither one spoke, they just listened to each other's breaths and felt each other's hearts beating, for now, they forgot everything that they were going through and focused on them and their relationship.

Olivia was still thinking about what Bayard had said before dinner, she was thinking about her own feelings too. She loved him, she was in love with him of that she was now almost one hundred per cent sure but they hadn't been together a week yet, ok it was true that they had barely been apart in the time since they'd gotten together but she was scared that she was confusing how she felt for Bayard with what she was feeling about everything else, she was so scared and nervous about court and the threat and worried about what she would find out about her father that she wasn't even sure that she was actually feeling Love for Bayard … no, she told herself, she did love Bayard and she knew she was falling deeper and deeper in love with him every minute he spent in his arms.

"We have to be up early in the morning Olivia." Bayard said as he ran his fingers through her hair.

"I know, but I can't sleep my mind is working and won't stop." She sighed, she felt drowsy but she couldn't get her mind to quieten enough to let her sleep.

"I know, I'm the same. What are you thinking about?" He asked wondering if talking could make them both a little more tired.

"Uh …" Olivia wasn't sure if she should tell him that she was thinking about their relationship. "Us." She whispered.

"What about us?" He asked.

"Well more my feelings towards you." She explained rolling to the side so she could look at him while she spoke.

"And?" He asked.

"Nothing." She replied getting cold feet.

"Olivia…"

"B please not now? I'm not ready." She explained.

"Ok but Olivia … I …." He hesitated, she'd just said she wasn't ready, did that mean not ready to hear it or not ready to say it.

"I what?" She asked.

He looked at her and smiled, her perfect brown eyes blinking innocently up at him just melted his heart and he realised he did want to say it and he wasn't going to hold back, he would just have to make sure she didn't run.

"I love you." He told her as he looked into her eyes and they sparked with mixed emotions.

A smile spread on her lips, he had meant it earlier and the leap of joy her heart had made when she heard him say it made her realise that time meant nothing when love was in the question.

"I love you too B." She smiled and he grinned, he was sure she would either not have said it or sounded unsure saying but when the words passed her lips he knew she meant every single one of them and there was now no going back for either of them.

"Think we can sleep now?" He asked gently.

"Absolutely." She replied and he pulled her into one arm as he leant over and turned the lamp off.

They both fell asleep pretty quickly after that, they'd been right in saying it, time was just a number and it didn't mean anything to either of them, five days, five hours, five minutes, it didn't change how they felt about each other.

* * *

The next morning they dressed in near silence. Olivia pulled on the five hundred dollar navy wrap dress that Bayard had bought for her, she'd only agreed to let him buy it because he said she looked great in a dress and then he went and added that she looked great in anything even a bin bag, and all Olivia could remember thinking was good save, but she then agreed that the dress would look good and he'd bought her a matching navy business jacket so she'd feel a little more comfortable as she wasn't to certain of the neckline on the dress.

As she pulled on her panty hose she wondered how today was going to go, everything that had previously happened had gone out of her mind as she thought of facing her accuser in court and for the first time she'd be sitting on the defendants side, and she knew it wasn't going to be pleasant.

Once she slipped on a pair of small black heeled court shoes she felt more feminine than she was used too, she was a very feminine woman in a world where men dominated but compared to those such as Alex and Casey she was definitely one of the boys.

"Are you ready?" Bayard asked as she smoothed out her dress in the mirror.

"Yeah I think so." She said using her finger to tidy up her lipstick.

"You look great Olivia." He smiled as he reached out his hand with her purse and coat.

"Thank you." She smiled.

Bayard was wearing one of his court suits, one which happened to be Olivia's favourite, he wore it the first time she spoke to him as if he wasn't a scumbag lawyer. It was navy blue which she found funny because they matched, but he wore a white shirt underneath with a red tie and he looked very professional and Olivia couldn't help but admit to herself that when he was dressed like that he turned her on.

* * *

They walked side by side into the courtroom, she was trying not to shake as she saw Mr Harry Miller sat on the prosecuting side beside his lawyer Trevor Langan.

The announcer called the session in and Judge Elizabeth Donnelly walked into the box.

"Mr Ellis, I see you're filing one motion to suppress." Donnelly called.

"Yes your honour, the footage of my client doing her job is highly suggestive, my client was only doing her job." Bayard called and when he looked at Olivia she could see the reassurance in his eyes.

"Your Honour, this whole case is because of the content of that press release!" Langan called back.

"Yes that' sort of my point!" Bayard replied angrily.

"Councillors, behave." Donnelly said before reading the document in front of her. "As much as I disagree with this Civil Suit I keep to the letter of the law when it comes to reaffirming it and I am afraid that Detective Benson personally appealing for the safe return of Mathew Miller means that she went outside the call of duty, I'm afraid the tape is in." Donnelly said and both Olivia and Bayard sighed, this had been their only hope, now they would have to go to try or pay out and there was no way that Olivia would settle, she was just doing her job and on top of that it wasn't like she had the figures that Harry Miller was asking for.

"Anything else?" Donnelly asked and both lawyers shook their heads. "Then these proceedings will begin in two days' time at nine am. Court adjourned."

Olivia looked at Bayard who was looking very apologetic towards her.

"I'm sorry…"

"It's not your fault B, now let's get out of here I have things to do at the precinct and I'm sure you have work to get on with." Olivia smiled getting to her feet.

"Yes but don't you need me at the precinct?" He asked gently.

"No I've got loads to get on with and you have jury selection this afternoon." Olivia replied with a smirk.

"Of course I need to find people who won't agree with Miller." Bayard replied. "At least let me drive you in, give me some piece of mind?" He asked and she smiled and nodded linking her hand into his as they head for the doors.

* * *

Olivia sat at her desk flicking through the papers she had on Oliver Benson, she'd found his birth certificate and his death certificate in public records but there was barely anything else on him. She'd searched for a marriage record and there was nothing and now she was looking back at the newspaper article that mentioned Don Cragen when he was in Narcotics, he had been a rookie then, straight out of the academy as she had been told by him that he did a five year stint at Narcotics before going to homicide and then SVU where he earned his captaincy.

She knew she had to ask him, he would be the only person who would be able to tell her if her suspicions were true but she knew she was hesitating because she wasn't sure she wanted to know the truth, if the truth was what she suspected it meant her whole belief system had been a lie, the reasons she was the way she was would be a lie shaking her beliefs to the core.

She gave up, she had to know so she picked up the two manila folders and went over to the office. After knocking lightly she didn't wait for him to tell her to enter instead she stuck her head around the door.

"You got a minute?" She asked her superior.

"Sure, come in and sit down." He smiled. "How was court this morning?"

"Fine, we didn't get the motion but Bayard's working on jury selection this afternoon and we're both hopeful." She replied. "But that's not what I wanted to talk to you about." Olivia explained and Don nodded, he knew that she'd found something and he had been preparing himself to give her answers.

"Well?" He asked not wanting to be obvious.

"I found out that a man by the name of Oliver Benson was killed in March of 1967 just days before Hollister surfaced." Olivia explained. "Benson was defending a man called …"

"Craig Charles." He interrupted.

"Yeah it was your case." Olivia replied.

"I know, that case almost made me throw in the towel so I remember it well." Don replied.

"Is Oliver Benson Joseph Hollister?" Olivia replied.

"Yes." Don said straight, there was no pussy footing around this.

"And so Oliver Benson is my father." Olivia replied. "Did he rape my Mom?"

"No he didn't." Don replied.

"And why should I believe you?" Olivia asked angrily.

"Because your Mom and Dad were married in 1964, they loved each other very much, your Mom didn't drink because she was raped, she didn't dislike you because you looked like your rapist father, she drank because she missed her husband, she disliked you because you looked like the man she loved." Don replied reaching into his drawer and pulling out a manila folder.

"Why tell me she was raped? Why not tell me that he left or that he died? Why let me believe that he was a cruel and violent man?" Olivia asked.

"Because we had to make sure you didn't go looking for him until it was safe too." Don replied handing the folder over. "He's been out of Witsec for nearly fifteen years but in the world your Dad meddled in the threat was never really gone so he kept his new identity instead of retaking his own, he felt like he'd let your Mom down and he'd let you down." Don explained as Olivia opened the file.

Marriage license and certificate, wedding photos clearly of her Mom and her Dad and many more happy photos.

"So he knew about me? How?" Olivia asked.

"I kept in touch with your Dad, once he was in Witsec he went to live in Jersey, I bumped into him and he introduced himself as Joseph Hollister, we talked for a while at the bar and he asked me to check up on your Mom, that's when I found out she was pregnant, your Mom knew your Dad was in Witsec and she knew I was in touch with him, she passed me pictures of you all of your life for me to give him, he knew as much as I could tell him and the picture of you and him in the park, he made me let him meet you, just the once so he could see you in the flesh…"

"You took the picture." Olivia whispered the realisation hitting her hard.

"I did." He nodded.

"I can't … I don't … no more." She stuttered jumping to her feet.

"Olivia…"

"What? Don't you even start Don, it's bad enough finding out that my entire childhood has been a lie but finding out that the man I worshiped for the past ten years lied to me too? I trusted you! I believed in everything you told me but the whole time you were lying! Did I even get this job on merit? Did I earn my shield or did you pull some strings? I … I… I don't even want to look at you right now." Olivia hurried out of the office wiping her tears on the back of her hand.

She stopped at her desk to get the photo album and made sure she had everything on her father before making her way to the roof.

Elliot who had been in the media room and seen her trying to hide her tears wasn't going to act like he hadn't seen them, Olivia was going through a tough time and it hurt him to see her so upset. He needed to makes sure that she was ok because they had more bad news for her on the case of her being threatened and he needed her completely compos mentis before he told her.

**So are you with me? This story is slowly evening out now but it's me … and I love DRAMA and I will make more happen once we start cleaning the mess up haha!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Thank you for ALL the lovely reviews, and thank you for your alerts and favourites too, I am very surprised at how much of you are now following this story, never thought it would be popular at all. **

"Olivia Benson at work in business attire never thought I'd see the day." Elliot said making her smile through her tears.

"Some of us have recently been made a defendant and juries like well-dressed perps." Olivia laughed weakly as she tried to stop herself crying more.

"Well you make a very hot perp." He teased making her laugh again.

"Yeah Bayard thought the same when he bought me the dress." Olivia smile.

"Hell, for the first time I have no choice but remember that you're a woman." He continued, he knew that teasing Olivia would open her up a little.

"Damn, I should leave the lippy behind next time." She joked back.

The partners banter relaxed them both, Olivia's tear stains were the only reminder that they weren't up there for a friendly chit chat.

"So how was it in civil court?" Elliot asked walking to the wall Olivia was propped up against.

"Motion to suppress the tape was denied." Olivia sighed. "Chances are I'm going to be sued for five million dollars that I don't have."

"I doubt it Olivia, you are not to blame for Mathew Miller's death and the jury will see that. Bayard won't let them find you guilty that man worships the ground you walk on." Olivia replied.

"I know, but none of that matters right now El. I don't even want to think about the case until I appear in court on Thursday." Olivia explained.

"Ok so why were you hightailing it out of Cragen's office?" Elliot asked as he leaned beside her.

Olivia sighed and turned to look at the view of Manhattan's skyline.

"Have you ever thought what you would do if you ever found out your whole life had been a lie?" Olivia asked.

"Uh no should I have?" Elliot asked his face showing his confusion.

"No, but the point is neither had I. You know my whole life I thought I understood where my place was in the world, I knew sort of where I came from and what my life was about especially after joining SVU but now … now I have no idea." Olivia sighed as a single stray tear fell from her eye.

"What do you mean Liv?" Elliot asked.

"My mom wasn't raped Elliot, my Dad isn't some cruel cold hearted son of a bitch that I was made to believe he was." She whispered hoarsely as she tried to hold back the sob threatening to echo from her throat.

"What do you mean?" Elliot asked turning to look at his partner who was still looking out over Manhattan.

"The letter I mentioned to you, it was from my Dad El." She explained slipping the note from her pocket and handing it to him.

Elliot didn't open it for a moment but when he saw Olivia still studying the view he took his time to read it.

"Uh… wow." He said as he folded the letter back up and handed it to her.

"I know." Olivia sighed.

"But that doesn't prove that he didn't rape your Mom." Elliot told her.

"No but this does." Olivia said handing him the file Don had given her.

Elliot once again took his time to look through what she'd given him and he was in shock.

"Oliver Benson." He read.

"I was even named after him." She hiccupped as the sob finally broke through.

"It doesn't change anything Olivia." Elliot said.

"My whole life has been a lie, the reasons I did this job for don't exist anymore, I thought half my DNA were cold, cruel and disgusting but I was conceived out of love Elliot, and then to find out that Don Cragen knew! He knew me my entire life and I never met him till I came here, he knew the whole eight years I've worked here and he never told me! Never told me…" She sobbed hard. "I had every right to know! He's been able to take his old life back for ten years and he didn't! He didn't come and see me yet he kept an eye on me!"

Elliot had never seen his partner this upset before and he slowly wrapped an arm around her shoulders hoping to bring her some form of comfort.

"He came to see me once when I was eight years old, he pushed me on the swing, Don took a photograph of us for him, it was him and I didn't know!" Olivia cried. "I didn't know!"

"I wanted to tell you Olivia." Don's voice carried from behind them.

Olivia turned around to look at her superior officer.

"Then why didn't you? He wasn't in Witsec anymore you could have told me!" She yelled at him, she was furious and had every right to be.

"I wanted to tell you but he asked me not too, he didn't want you to go through what you're going through now." Don explained.

"Then why send me the letter? Why make me find all this out If he didn't want me going through it?" Olivia asked angrily.

"Because he knew once you found Simon and found out that he was alive you'd have questions and he wanted you to know the truth then, and he wanted … he didn't want you to know until you had someone to love and support you through it." Don explained softly, he knew she was hurting and he didn't blame her.

She turned back to the view as she tried to clear her mind for a moment and focus on what he was telling her.

"He wanted to wait until there was someone special in your life who would stick by your side when you found all this out because he understood that it would hurt, he understood that you wouldn't take it well because you moulded your life around what your Mom told you, becoming a cop and joining SVU was just one thing you did because your Mom was the way she was and you thought you had to prove you weren't like your Dad when in actual fact your Dad was a great man who adored your Mom, he may have been a defence attorney and he screwed up but he was still a good and well respected man and he isn't the cold and calculating perp you thought he was."

"What about you? You lied to me yet you had a choice!" She yelled. "You could have told me all of this any time over the past ten years!"

Don dropped a hand to her shoulder which was a big mistake, she spun around and clocked him right across the cheek sending him stumbling backwards. Luckily Elliot managed to get his hands around her biceps before she went in for a second shot.

"You lied to me!" Olivia screamed, she wasn't able to hold it together.

"I'm sorry." Don replied.

"I hate you." She hissed.

"I know." He replied before turning on his heels and heading for the bullpen.

Once the door was closed behind him Olivia let her knees buckle under her weight. Elliot held her as much as he could and once on the floor beside her he pulled her into a comforting embrace, they only ever embraced when one of them badly needed to be held, which was few and far between but right now he knew she needed someone to hold her as she cried, someone she trusted and that was him.

* * *

Twenty minutes past before Olivia was all cried out. Elliot just sat beside her as they leant against the wall.

"Sorry." She chuckled wiping the back of her hand underneath her nose.

"Hey if you can't break down in front of your best friend who can you break down in front of?" He replied trying to make the situation lighter.

"You know, all I've ever wanted is to be happy Elliot, and I am with Bayard, he makes me so happy but why is it that I get the feeling I'm not allowed happiness, because every time I'm happy something comes along and screws it all up." She sighed.

Elliot didn't know what to say to her but luckily for him he didn't have to as the door of the roof swung open and revealed Bayard.

Olivia stood up and went over to him.

"Hey." She said as he wrapped her up in his arms.

"Heard you might need a lawyer." He teased.

"What? Why?" Olivia asked jumping back.

"I was joking Olivia." He told her.

"Not in the mood for joking B." She replied turning around and walking back to the wall.

"I'm sorry Olivia." He sighed going over to her.

"Why are you here?" She asked.

"Don called…"

"Oh great." She sighed. "Are you sure you were joking when you said I needed a lawyer?" She asked.

"Uh yeah why?" He asked.

"I punched Don." She explained making Bayard chuckled.

"Yeah he said but I don't think he's going to be pressing charges, his words were, she punched me in the mouth but I deserved it, actually expected a knee in the bollocks." Bayard replied making Olivia chuckle weakly.

"He came very close." She replied sniffing at the same time.

"I'll leave the two of you to talk, I have a case to work." Elliot smiled softly dropping a chaste kiss on Olivia's temple before walking off.

Olivia wrapped her arms around Bayard's waist and he held her back, she didn't cry but basked in the warmth he gave off.

"How much did Cragen tell you then?" Olivia asked.

"He explained everything about your Dad and him and you." Bayard explained.

"I feel so stupid." She sighed into his chest.

"Hey." He said stepping back to hold her face and look into her eyes. "Never, ever think you're stupid Olivia, because you're not don't ever feel like that, you're an amazing woman and I love you very much."

"I love you too." She whispered weakly before wrapping her arms around her neck to kiss him.

"How about we go back downstairs it's freezing up here." Bayard smiled.

"I don't think I can face Don Cragen right now, I punched him." Olivia replied nervously.

"He's worried about you Olivia why do you think he called me, he said that he thought you needed me with you and I'm here, come on we'll go down together." Bayard took her hand and she took a deep breath allowing him to lead her back to the squad room.

* * *

When they walked into the squad room they found it alive with work and Olivia instantly knew something was going on.

"Fin where's Stabler?" She asked turning into her usual cop self.

"Getting the Kevlar's." He replied.

"Why?" Olivia asked nervously.

"We think we found who's been threatening you." Fin explained.

"I'm coming." She said as Elliot came in with a pile of vests.

"Olivia the threat is against you, you're the vic here." Fin said as he grabbed a vest.

"Cragen always told me that we don't get to pic the vic, so what if I'm the next vic, I want to be out there to watch my partners six." Olivia replied making it obvious that she wasn't sitting this one out.

"Ok we'll fill you in on the way." Fin sighed handing her a vest.

"I'll be back." She said leaning in and kissing Bayard's cheek before rushing off.

"Be safe!" He called after her, he knew how wrong whatever they were going to do could go especially seeing that they were putting on bullet proof vests.

Don was coming out of the office when the Detectives all rushed off. He saw Bayard just watching them disappear and he felt for the man, it was obvious he wasn't happy with Olivia going with them.

"She knows what she's doing." He said.

Bayard turned around and saw Don Cragen giving him an uncomfortable smile, he had a thick cut lip where Olivia's punch had hit him and it took quite a lot of effort on Bayard's behalf not to laugh.

"Remind me not to piss off Olivia." He said nodding his head towards the cut.

"I will, I think I won't be doing the same in a hurry." Don replied with a slight chuckle, he didn't blame her one bit for reacting the way she had, he knew it was a combination of frustration and anger amongst other things.

"You think she's going to be ok?" He asked his girlfriend's boss who definitely knew her better than he did.

"I know she is, just don't screw her around Ellis because she has very protective big brothers." Don replied seriously.

"I couldn't if I tried Don, she's taken a permanent place in my heart." Bayard said honestly. "I love her."

"I know, and she loves you too, she's just got a lot going on at the moment." Don explained and Bayard nodded.

"So is Oliver Benson actually her father?" Ellis asked.

"Yeah why?" Don asked taking Stabler's desk chair to sit down in.

"I used a couple of his cases in court when I was doing the drug dealers and barons." Ellis explained. "He really got caught up in some stuff didn't he?"

"Yeah he did, that's why I'm relieved that you're not working those cases anymore, Olivia can't take anymore heart ache, she needs you to look out for yourself in your work in the way you need her not to get herself in trouble, the difference is she carries a gun and a badge and you don't." Cragen explained honestly, the truth was if Bayard was still working the drug barons Olivia wouldn't have even agreed to go out with him, she knew how dangerous working those cases could be and that's why Don knew she'd understand why her father had to go into witsec.

"I'm on the good guys side now, I only work cases where the perp getting locked up would be criminal but the DA has to file charges." Bayard explained. "I couldn't go back to keeping real perps out of jail."

Cragen nodded, a lot of Defence Attorney's had been turning to the Prosecution's side lately, they could only get people out of their charges so often before they cracked, especially when their clients offended for a second or third time and they saw more victims.

"I didn't think Olivia would ever forgive you for getting that rapist out of jail." Cragen replied honestly.

"Neither did I but that's the case that brought us to each other, I wouldn't have met her had I not worked that case." He replied with a soft smile.

"That's a good point, but a rapist walked free because of you, the people Olivia put's her life on the line to lock up, she takes all her cases losses and successes personally."

"I noticed." Bayard replied sighing. "Her job rules her life doesn't it?"

"Yeah, but maybe not so much now she knows the truth and has you, she'll maybe realise now she has a reason to live and not to put her life on the line so often." Don smiled.

"The chances are slim, she'd die for a vic Don, you and I both know that."

* * *

Fin and Elliot had filled Olivia in on the perp, they didn't think that he was the threat towards her but he was a hit man that they believed was being paid to get Olivia and that he was the one who trashed her apartment, all in all it was lucky that she wasn't there that night or she wouldn't be alive today.

They had planned a sneak attack on the warehouse that they believed the perp, whose name was Tobias Clarke, was hiding.

They were all gathered at a vacant lot opposite the warehouse the plan ready to put into action.

"I wish you'd stay in the car." Elliot sighed as he and Olivia made their way over.

"And miss out on all the fun?" She asked with a raised eyebrow and smirk on her lips.

Elliot just chuckled as they arrived at the back entrance. Side by side they went into the dark hallway, their guns drawn and lowered to the ground as their perp was a known hitman and vigilante.

"Clear." Olivia whispered peeking into a room beside her.

Slowly they continued their decent down the corridor, their breath slow, their hearts racing with adrenaline.

A loud bang in the distance had them both running towards the end but echoing shouts in the radio from Fin and Munch had them stopping in their tracks.

"IED's get out!"

"Shit!" Olivia yelled hearing footsteps coming towards them.

Both of them ran as fast as they possibly could back down the route they had come. As they reached the door their perp threw an IED towards them and they both went flying through the air landing a good fifteen feet from where they had last been standing.

"El?" Olivia coughed pushing herself up.

"I'm good you?" He asked rolling himself onto his back to push himself up.

"Yeah … I'm good …" She choked and coughed as the fumes hit her.

Suddenly there were two arms around her shoulders pulling her.

"Get off me!" She yelled struggling hard and having a surging pain shooting through her left leg.

"Liv it's me!" Fin yelled back as he dragged her further away from the burning warehouse. "You've got some shrapnel in your leg if you'd try to stand you'd fall straight back down." He explained as Munch helped Elliot hobble, he'd just twisted his ankle.

"Did no one check to see if this guy would use bombs on us?" Olivia asked.

"We did look but there was nothing on him to do with bombs but we all know you can find out this stuff on the internet Liv." Munch replied as Elliot pulled her arm around his shoulders and Fin did the same with the other arm.

"Agh!" She yelled in pain as she stood.

"All your weight on your right leg Olivia." Elliot told her.

"It fucking hurts." She spat.

Elliot looked at Fin who was laughing, Olivia was a sucker for pain. He scooped her up into his arms making her let go of Fin's shoulders to wrap both her arms around Elliot's as he carried her over to the now awaiting ambulance.

"Detective Benson what mess have you gotten yourself into this time?" An EMT woman smiled who Olivia had met on numerous occasions in the past.

"Hey I didn't know there would be bombs or shrapnel involved." Olivia replied as Elliot placed her on the stretcher. "Now patch me up so I can interrogate the son of a bitch who just tried to kill me."

"You are going to the hospital Detective, some of these wounds are going to need x-raying to see just how deep they are and then we're going to need to stich some of them up." She sighed.

"Oh no please just patch me up and let me go?" Olivia asked almost pleading just as a squad car pulled up with flashing lights and siren.

Olivia looked around the EMT to find Bayard and Cragen looking particularly pale jumping out of the car and running over to her.

"Olivia thank God you're ok!" Bayard gasped seeing her.

"I'm fine, just some shrapnel in the leg." She replied signalling to the bare skin where panty hose had once been. "Except I think these panty hose will be going in the bin." She chuckled.

"I don't care about your panty hose Olivia when we heard them talking about bombs on the radio and that two Detectives were down we thought the worse." Bayard explained a tear dripping down his cheek.

"I'm fine B, don't worry, but who isn't Cap? Who's hurt?" She asked the worry filling her voice.

"No one, you're the one worst off Olivia a rookie called it in the second the second explosion went off because he thought you wouldn't have made it out and he didn't hear Fin give you the heads up on the radio." Cragen explained. "Now get to the hospital we'll meet you there."

"But…"

"No buts Olivia, hospital or you can do two weeks of desk duty." Cragen replied knowing she'd rather visit the ER than be stuck behind a desk for a fortnight.

"Ok." She grumbled as her leg was strapped in place. "What's that for?"

"Precaution Detective." The EMT smiled. "You riding along?"

"Yeah." Bayard nodded sitting beside the gurney.

"Ok we can go." She banged on the glass between the driver and themselves and the doors were shut by Cragen and Elliot.

"So I have known you for about five years but I still don't know your name." Olivia smiled to the EMT lady.

"Ah it's Maria." She replied. "Not something we often share on the job with the cops, we pick up the vics then head off."

"No but how many times have I sat in the back of this thing with you for minor injuries?" Olivia laughed.

"Too many times, I think I'm going to reserve a spot in this bus for you and your partner, I'm sure between the two of you I have picked you up more times than victims on your cases!" Maria laughed making both Olivia and Bayard smile too.

* * *

Olivia didn't have to wait long to be taken up to x-ray. After that she was taken back to the ER and her legs were written on in black pen.

"Right you see the circled wounds? They have shrapnel embedded inside them, now you can't see anything there but if I show you the x-rays then there is clearly debris inside." The Doctor who introduced himself as Michael explained.

"Ok?" Olivia replied.

"Then the ones with diagonal lines coming from them have shrapnel sticking out and so they'll be the easiest for us to get to." He continued.

"What about the ones with nothing?" Olivia asked.

"They just need to be cleaned and none of those need to be stitched." HE explained which was good for Olivia as most of the debris and shrapnel was in her thigh whereas the open cuts were on her lower leg.

"Ok so what now?" Olivia asked.

"We'll get you into a treatment room, numb your leg up and take it all out and stitch you up, you're going to be here over night though Detective as you're not going to be able to feel your leg until the morning and we won't be able to discover how much pain you're in but I can tell you that there is so far no nerve damage and if we can get the shrapnel out easily then you should heal right up." Doctor Michaels explained with a cheesy smile on his face.

"Ok thank you." Olivia nodded.

"Ok I'll have you taken up now and then your friends and family can come and wait with you." He smiled.

"Sure." Olivia nodded gripping Bayard's hand a little tighter.

ILB

Once in the treatment room Olivia sat with Bayard while Don, Elliot, Munch and Fin visited her.

"How's the leg?" Cragen asked.

"Ok." Olivia shrugged.

"No I mean what have the doctors said?" He asked noticing the black marker all over her.

"Ah well some wounds have shrapnel embedded under the skin so they need to take them out and the ones with shrapnel sticking right out then stitch me up." Olivia explained.

"If you were running away from the blast how did you get hit in the front of your leg?" Elliot asked.

"When that explosion went off I turned in the air, that's when I must have been hit." Olivia replied shrugging, she hadn't thought of that logic.

"I'm going to have to ask you all to leave now, we really need to get those wounds fixed." Doctor Michael smiled as he came into the room with three nurses.

"You're going nowhere." Olivia said to Bayard as she gripped hi hand tighter.

"You can stay." Doctor Michael smiled reassuringly, he guessed Olivia would become a problem patient if she was alone. "Ok we're just going to spray the leg with water first so we can get as much of this blood away, the first ones we need to work on are the ones that are bleeding most." He told her and she nodded as the nurse approached with what looked like a hose pipe and the other nurse wrapped towels around her other leg.

The jet of cold water hit Olivia's leg making her gasp and jump simultaneously, luckily the cold feeling made her stop thinking of the pain as she shivered slightly.

Once that was done the x-rays were all put up on the light board and another light was pulled down over Olivia's leg.

"This sedative is fast acting ok, so I'll inject it and in one minute you will lose all feeling in your leg." Doctor Michaels explained through the mask he was now wearing.

"Sure." Olivia nodded lying back into the pillow as the nurses pulled on their own masks.

As the needle hit her leg she hissed in pain, there was nothing worse than sharp pain in her eyes.

Seconds later her whole leg felt like it wasn't there anymore. The nurse tickled the bottom of her foot and her eyes widened as she didn't feel a thing.

"Ok we're good to go, I just need you to relax Olivia." Doctor Michaels smiled.

It took nearly three hours for him to remove every piece of shrapnel, as one piece came out he would tell one of the nurses whether it needed stitching up or not and they'd get on with that while he moved on to the next piece. Bayard stayed holding her hand and stroking his hand through her hair and she even dozed into a light sleep for half an hour of the three hours it took.

"We're done." Doctor Michaels smiled as the last piece of shrapnel came out and he shook his head towards the stitches and nodded for the butterfly bandages.

Olivia looked at her leg and felt sick, it looked disgusting with thick black stitches in some places, glue in others and butterfly bandages on some more.

"I have never seen anything so grotesque in my life." Olivia whispered still wide eyed in shock.

"Says the woman who works with murder victims and rape victims." Bayard replied.

"I usually see them before they're stitched up, it look ok covered in blood now it's … ugh!" She shivered.

"You're just being a drama queen." Bayard teased.

"Now then the sedative I used was much lighter than the one I had planned to give you so it should be wearing off …" He pinched her toe and made her jump a little

"Good now I'm going to prescribe some pain medication and I want you to keep off the leg and on crutches for the next few days because I don't want you tearing any stitches but I will clear you for some desk duty for a week and then of course follow up with your general practitioner or come here and we'll pop the stitches out in two weeks' time." Doctor Michael smiled as did Olivia at hearing she didn't have to stay overnight.

"Yes I get to leave!" She grinned.

"I'll get your discharge papers." He said before leaving.

Seconds after in came Don Cragen, Elliot, Munch and Fin.

"I thought you guys would have left." Olivia said with a smile, she was glad to see them.

"Never, you were hurt and we thought we might have to handcuff you to the bed but Doctor Michael said you can leave so I guess you're going to need a ride." Cragen smiled.

"Sure, thank you." She smiled noticing his thick lip for the first time. "And sorry about …"

"We won't mention it again, it's forgotten." He said subconsciously rubbing his bottom lip.

"Wow Benson you did that to Dad?" Fin asked.

Olivia just blushed, she didn't want to have to explain but luckily Cragen covered for her.

"That's what I get for offering to hold the punching back for a woman." He replied making all the men laugh and Olivia who thought it was the lamest excuse ever but was content that everyone else had gone for it who didn't know the truth.

Once the discharge papers were signed and Olivia argued with the nurses about the wheelchair she was finally leaving, feeling very relieved and happy to be alive and all the earlier complications momentarily forgotten.

**Told you there would be Drama :D of course nothing is solved yet, have you noticed that because a lot of it should keep you guessing till I get bored of the plot … LOL! **


	10. Chapter 10

**Thank you for ALL the lovely reviews, and thank you for your alerts and favourites too, I am very surprised at how much of you are now following this story, never thought it would be popular at all. **

The next morning Olivia went to the precinct on her crutches and Bayard went to work having to send out subpoenas to help Olivia out in court the next day. Fin and Munch couldn't help but laugh as she hobbled on one leg to her desk using the crutch to pull out the chair.

"You could offer to help instead of laugh you know." Olivia hissed, she was in some pain and frustrated at being immobile so she was snapping at everyone.

"Good to see you back with us Benson." Munch smirked as he tried not to laugh but the look Olivia gave him quickly silenced him, she looked like she wouldn't mind shooting off her gun and he didn't want to be the man at the other end.

"So what happened to our perp?" Olivia asked thinking of the man who had tried to kill her and Elliot the previous day.

"He's dead." Fin replied. "Idiot blew up both ends of the building forgetting he needed a way out, unless it was suicide. "

"The only person who could tell us anything is dead? Great!" Olivia sighed, this was the last thing that she needed.

"We'll find him Liv." Elliot told her.

"It's been four days Elliot and the only person who could give us answers went boom, so sorry if I doubt your Detective skills but I am starting to get fed of having rookie uni's tailing my ass." Olivia snapped.

Elliot said nothing back and gave a warning look to Munch and Fin not to either, she had every right to be angry and frustrated right now.

"Benson a word?" Cragen called from the door to his office.

"Ok seriously is it important enough that you're going to make me hobble all the way over there?" Olivia snapped once again, she was in a considerable amount of pain and moving made it worse.

"Get in here Benson and that's an order." He replied before vanishing into the office.

"Want a lift?" Elliot asked coming over to her.

"No I can manage." She replied pulling herself up with the crutches.

Elliot knew she would say no but she was his partner and had been for eight years and he could see that she was in a lot of pain but she was too proud to accept help.

Olivia took nearly five minutes to hobble awkwardly on the crutches, it was even harder to get into the office having to stop open the door with her arm still in the support and then push the door open with the crutch, now she was in an even fouler mood.

"Ok seriously how important is this that you couldn't tell me at my desk?" Olivia snapped before finally walking into the office.

A man sat in front of Don's desk chair turned around and Olivia's mouth fell wide open in shock.

"Hi baby doll." He said with a smile on his face.

"Dad." She whispered her face still showing the surprise.

Oliver Benson stood up and faced her and Olivia saw for the first time exactly where she got her looks from, or her deep brown eyes, Olive toned skin and pronounced cheek bones.

"It's really me." He said understanding that she didn't believe what she was seeing.

"What is he doing here?" Olivia hissed through gritted teeth turning to her superior.

"He wanted to finally meet you now that you know the truth." Don replied.

"Did you even consider the fact that I didn't want to meet him?" Olivia asked angrily.

"Olivia…"

"Don't you Olivia me, you're a stranger to me and that's what you're always going to be I don't have any interest in getting to know you or being a part of your life!" Olivia yelled.

Outside in the squad room the men had caught on to Olivia's yells and were now listening intently.

"Hear him out Olivia…"

"Hear him out?" Olivia yelled at her superior officer. "I don't even know why I'm still talking to you Don, you knew! You knew the whole time I was working here and you didn't tell me and you …" She turned to her father. "You came out of Witsec but kept your false identity letting me believe that you were a rapist, you killed my Mom!" She yelled furious as she let everything she'd been thinking about out in the open. "She wouldn't have drank herself to death had you come back!"

"That's unfair Olivia!" Don yelled but Olivia's face told him it was the wrong thing to say.

"Unfair?" Olivia asked angrily. "Unfair is finding out that your whole life has been a lie! Unfair is finding out that the person you trusted most in the world is a liar! So don't you dare talk to me about unfair Don!" She screamed before turning on her crutches and hobbling as quick as she could out of the office.

She barely made it to Elliot's desk before there was a hand grabbing her shoulder, as she spun around to hit the person she forgot all about the damaged leg and stumbled, luckily Elliot was beside her to catch her as she fell.

"Ok?" Elliot asked as he held her.

"Hmm." She moaned as she nodded.

"Leg?" He asked guessing the moan was in pain.

"Mhm." Olivia nodded again as Elliot helped her up to sit on his desk chair as it was closer than hers. "Go away!" She whispered angrily towards her father as she was close to tears.

"Olivia…"

"I have _nothing_ to say to you, so please leave!" Olivia snapped.

Luckily for Olivia Bayard showed up just then and when he saw everyone gathered around Olivia he rushed over.

"Olivia everything ok?" He asked kneeling down in front of him.

"Yeah, I just want _him_ to get out of my sight!" She spat still angry.

"I think she's made it clear she doesn't want to speak with you Sir." Bayard said standing up and looking at the man Olivia's eyes had flickered towards.

"I just want to speak with her." He replied.

"She obviously doesn't want to speak with you and if you continue to harass my client I will put in a complaint and have you arrested." Bayard snapped, he may not have been the one carry a badge and a gun but he knew the law and he knew Elliot, Munch and Fin would handcuff him if Bayard gave the ok.

"Mr Ellis I just want to talk to my daughter." Oliver asked.

Munch and Fin's jaws fell open while Elliot bit back a gasp. Bayard stared in surprise while Olivia groaned, it wasn't his place to tell her co-workers.

"Mr Benson now is not the time now Olivia has made it quite clear that she does not wish to talk with you and just because you're related I will not think twice about getting you done for harassing my client…"

"Your girlfriend you mean." Oliver interrupted running his hand through his greying hair.

"Oliver just come back to the office." Don sighed as Munch and Fin continued to stare in shock while Elliot regained himself a little.

"I want to talk with my daughter…"

"But I don't want to talk to! Get the message Dad, if I wanted to talk to you I would have the second I found out the truth but guess what I didn't, now walk out of my life again and don't come back because you're not welcome!" Olivia yelled getting onto her crutches and Elliot and Bayard stepped out of the way in time to see her almost sprint off on them, the anger making managing a bum leg much easier.

Of course Olivia wasn't clever, rather than going to the elevators she decided to try the stairs and after managing two steps the third one was a little wet and the crutch slipped, all anyone in the bullpen heard was her yell and a thump.

Everyone sprinted in the direction Olivia had gone and from the top of the stairs they could see her crumpled up at the bottom.

"Olivia!" Bayard panicked rushing down to her with Oliver as Cragen pulled out his radio.

"This is Captain Don Cragen Manhattan SVU, rush a bus to SVU Precinct we have an officer down."

"Copy that bus on route ETA three minutes." Came the reply.

Olivia groaned but her eyes didn't open.

"This is your fault!" Bayard snapped at Oliver as he stroked the hair out of Olivia's face.

"I know." Oliver whispered as he took Olivia's hand in his own.

* * *

At the hospital Olivia was rushed off while everyone else was left in the waiting room having taken squad cars and followed the ambulance.

Elliot was fuming, he pushed Oliver against the wall holding the man's chest and jaw.

"I swear anything happens to her and I will kill you." Elliot hissed.

"I know Stabler now get off me." Oliver hissed back.

Elliot dropped him out of shock, the man knew who he was.

"I may not have been a part of my Daughter's life Detective it doesn't mean I didn't keep an eye on her, like I said she is my Daughter." Oliver snapped.

"She doesn't want you in her life she made that pretty clear!" Elliot hissed.

"Here is not the time or place for this!" Cragen said stepping in between them.

"Family of Olivia Benson?" A doctor asked coming towards them.

"Yes is she ok?" Cragen asked, he being the superior he was used to taking the lead when his Detectives were injured.

"She's fine, she busted a few of her stitches and has a concussion and some bruised ribs but other than that she absolutely fine." The Doctor smiled.

"So can we see her?" Bayard asked.

"She's out at the moment she panicked a little when we went to fix her stitches and so we had to sedate her so I can only let relatives in." The Doctor explained.

"I'm her father Oliver Benson can I see my daughter?" He asked desperately, he was blaming himself for her fall.

"Yes you can, just this way sir but the rest of you will have to wait for Ms Benson to come around." The Doctor said apologetically.

"She wouldn't want him around when she wakes!" Elliot snapped, Bayard was still in a little bit of shock to say anything.

"Elliot!" Cragen snapped as Oliver ignored him and made his way to the room where his daughter was.

The doctor showed him in and gave him the usual message of asking him to let them know when she was awake but he could stay as long as he wanted to as he was family.

Oliver went over to the chair beside the bed and slipped his hand into Olivia's he felt guilty at seeing her looking so lifeless in the bed, her skin pale and her hair matted along the pillow.

"I'm so sorry Olivia, so sorry." He whispered as he rubbed his thumb against her slender fingers. "I should have come back, I wanted to come back but I really didn't know how, I wanted to tell you years ago but I didn't want you to hate me and then when your Mom died it was too late because you wouldn't have believed the truth if I told you it, you had to find it out on your own to believe that it was the truth." He explained to the open air, he was sure Olivia couldn't hear him but saying it once was practice to having to say it to her face. "I love you very much Olivia, and I want the chance to be a real Dad even though I understand if you don't give it to me, I mean I don't deserve it, don't deserve to be a Dad to such a great woman. Tomorrow it hits the headlines that I've been alive all these years but now a part of me wishes I would have stayed dead, I can't deal with you hating me…" he sniffed hard he was crying a little.

"I don't hate you." Olivia's voice carried to his ears.

At first he thought he'd dreamt it, Olivia's eyes were still closed and if her mouth did move it had returned to the same position.

"I said I don't hate you." She said again.

"You're awake?" He asked getting to his feet and leaning over the bed.

"Have been since you touched my hand, I was going to just pretend to be asleep till I could get a doctor to make you go away but then you opened your mouth, I don't hate you but I don't know you and … I can't tell you I want you to be in my life because I don't know, that's the truth if the matter I don't know if I want you in my life and I don't know if I want you to be my Dad but it doesn't mean that I won't give it a go, try and somehow let you in." She explained her eyes still closed.

He couldn't stop grinning, this was progress, much better than he thought it would go.

"Why did you stay away Dad?" She asked turning her head to him and opening her eyes, calling him Dad came naturally, hearing her say it shocked both of them but calling him Oliver or even Joseph didn't seem to flow from her mouth in the way Dad did.

"I was scared Olivia, so so scared of what you'd think of me, I mean you thought I was a rapist." He chuckled a little when he said rapist, he still couldn't believe what the FBI had made Serena tell their daughter.

"Why did you come and see me in the park?" She asked him with tears in her eyes.

"Don and your Mom made sure I knew everything there was about you, I know when you were five you hated chocolate but loved Candy Corn, I know when you were four you fell into the fountain in central park when you were pretending to be a balancing act walking a tightrope but I didn't believe it was real because I'd never seen you in the flesh, never touched you so Don and Serena hatched the plan that you'd be in Central Park when I was there with your brother and that somehow we'd meet and I could spend some time with you, luckily for me your Mom wasn't so big on don't talk to strangers that you were ok with me pushing you on the swing."

"You bought me and ice pop." She smiled.

"Cherry flavoured your favourite." He replied grinning.

They then went silent, Olivia realised that though he hadn't been in her life he'd always cared, he knew everything there was to know about her, everything a father should know about a daughter and now she couldn't imagine pushing him away, she couldn't imagine not having him be a part of her life. She gripped his hand a little tighter as her eyes flooded with tears.

"What is it?" he asked.

"Don't leave me again." She whispered turning to look at him.

"I'm not going anywhere." He replied with a smile, she wanted him in her life there was no way he was going to walk away again. "ever, I promise."

**So you can probably guess this is going to be longer than the ten chapters I originally planned it to be, Tori, I know you're desperate for little Olivia and Bayard's to be running around but I haven't decided how far into the story I'm going to go but who knows I may make a sequel! x**


	11. Chapter 11

**Just a really short fluff chapter to move the story along some**

That evening Olivia discharged herself into Bayard's care, he was more than happy to still have her at his place and she had made it quite clear that she was never going back to her apartment, she still hadn't seen the mess that had been made of it and she kept telling herself that if she didn't see it then it wasn't real.

"We've got court tomorrow." Olivia sighed as she cuddled up into Bayard.

Olivia dropped her head into Bayard's lap and lay sideways on the couch while Bayard did his new favourite activity of running his fingers through her chocolate coloured locks.

"Hopefully by the end of the day we'll have one less thing to worry about." He said, he wasn't sure but he was hopeful.

"Are you sure you're ok with my Dad sitting second chair with you?" Olivia asked.

"Absolutely, Olivia I studied your father's cases when I was in Law school, it's why I went into the same line of work, before I studied your Dad's cases I want to be an ADA." He laughed.

"Thank you." She smiled taking the hand splayed on her waist into her own and stroking it with her other hand.

"I'm glad you're going to try and have a relationship with him Olivia." Bayard smiled softly.

"Me too, I mean knowing I'm not a product of rape anymore hasn't changed my outlook on my job and my life, but knowing I have a dad that wants to be in my life, I consider myself a very lucky woman." She explained bringing Bayard's hand to her cheek.

"He does love you Olivia, just because you didn't know about him, he knew about you and has loved you since the day you were born." Bayard smiled.

"I know, anyway enough about that now I just want to spend some stress free time with you B, before court tomorrow I want to be relaxed." Olivia smiled.

"Ok what do you want to do?" Bayard asked unsure what she was getting at.

"We've been together nearly a week now and I practically live here with you and we've already told each other that we love each other but I can't help but wonder how much we don't know about each other yet." She explained as their hands fumbled with each other.

"I understand what you mean so how do you want to learn more about me?" He asked.

"A game of truth, like truth or dare without the dares." She explained.

"Ok then and because I'm such a gentleman I'll let you go first." He smiled.

"Ok uhhh what's your favourite colour?" She asked.

"Orange." He replied with a smile. "What's yours?"

"Blue." She replied. "Who's your favourite author?"

"Stephen King, yours?"

"Nora Roberts, but are you going to just keep asking me the same questions I ask you?"

"Until I think of one of my own." He smirked. "What's your favourite book."

"Noughts and Crosses, other than Celine Dion who's your favourite musician?"

"I don't really listen to music but I like Carrie Underwood."

"Could you like anything more feminine?" She laughed.

"No but it's my turn now I get two questions." He laughed. "Who's your favourite musician?"

"I like the band simple plan." Olivia replied thinking of the albums she had.

"Would I like them?" Bayard continued as his hand circled around Olivia's as they both relaxed and became tired, slowly winding down.

"Hmm they're nothing like Celine Dion or Carrie Underwood but they're good. I don't know I'll have to introduce you to them." Olivia smiled. "But I am now very tired, and we've got an early start tomorrow." Olivia smiled.

"Let's go to bed." Bayard smiled and after standing up he scooped Olivia up in his arms and carried her into the bedroom saving her trying to use the crutches.


	12. Chapter 12

**So uh I don't know what I have left to do on this story for the moment, not much unless I think of something, I know you want Olivia/Bayard babies Tori but I thik you might have to wait until the sequel, we'll see!**

The next morning Olivia was quiet and withdrawn. Bayard knew she had a lot on her mind and tried to give her some of the space she needed by looking over the files for court as much as he could.

Olivia dressed in another dress, it was grey with a v shaped neck, it curved around her body showing off her natural curves. Even though she was off duty she wore her belt around her waist with her gun on her hip, shield on her front and handcuffs on the back, she couldn't go without them, they were her safety net. She finished the look off with a matching jacket and a pair of black two inch heel court shoes.

"You nearly ready?" Bayard asked coming into the room where Olivia was pulling a straightening iron through her hair.

"Yeah." She nodded.

Bayard was in a black suit with white shirt and gold tie, he always looked professional and ready for action when he was going to court and as much as she would never admit it out loud Olivia found it an absolute turn on.

A knock on the door signalled that Oliver had arrived and as Bayard went to open the door Olivia finished tidying up her makeup and pulled on a grey business jacket before hobbling through to greet him.

"Hey." She smiled as she struggled with the crutches.

"Morning baby doll." He smiled.

Olivia's smile widened, she thought it was cute that her father called her baby doll. He had three coffees in his hand and he placed them on the counter so he could embrace his daughter.

"The car is waiting outside." He smiled.

Olivia nodded as she was putting cream and sugar in her drink.

"You want me to take that down for you?" Bayard asked knowing she wouldn't be able to carry it herself.

"Yeah please, let's go." She smiled weakly, she was getting nervous again, this was going to be a long day.

They went down in the elevator together and when they arrived outside Olivia realised what her father meant by the car waiting, a blacked out black car stood by the entrance to the apartment building and by the open back door was a chauffeur.

Olivia was in shock, but her father just laughed softly.

"I made my millions when I was a lawyer and when I went into Witsec all my accounts were frozen." He told her. "Remember I worked cases for the biggest drug runners in New York and they pay well including great big bonuses when you won their cases."

"Right." Olivia nodded before struggling to get into the car, she wasn't sure what she thought about him living off drug money but right now she didn't care either because she had too much else to worry about..

ILB

When they arrived outside the court and the driver opened the door camera's flashed in their faces, a combination of her father being back after being dead for nearly forty years and the fact that Harry Miller had sold his story to every newspaper in New York hoping to help get Olivia to have to pay him the five million dollars.

"No Comment." Both Bayard and Oliver called as they shielded Olivia from the cameras as she struggled up the steps.

Elliot, Munch and Fin hurried to meet them with some uniformed officers to move the paparazzi away.

They rushed into the courthouse as quickly as they possibly could not wanting to give the paparazzi more time to send questions their way and once the door was shut Olivia bit back the tears and curled herself up into Bayard's side.

"It's ok." He whispered before kissing her temple.

Once their case was called in Olivia hobbled inside her father in front of her and Bayard behind her almost as if they wanted to protect her and guard her from everything that was happening.

They sat down at the defence table and waited for the court announcer to call that the judge was coming.

"Docket ending six zero nine zero Harry Miller vs. Olivia Benson, Judge Elizabeth Donnelly residing court is now in session."

"Good Morning." Judge Donnelly said in her usual dry demeanour. "Defence, Mr Ellis I am to believe that you will be working with Mr Benson on this case?"

"Yes Your Honour, he will be my second chair." Bayard replied standing up again to address the judge.

"And the people have no objections?" Donnelly asked turning to Langan.

"No your Honour." He replied even though he wanted to object he knew that Benson was one of the best lawyers of his time and would be able to get himself second chair without even trying and he didn't see any point in wasting time.

"Ok let's begin with opening statements." Donnelly said nodding to Trevor Langan to start.

"Thank you your honour." Langan nodded before walking around the front of his table to address the jury.

"Detective Olivia Benson from Manhattan's special victims unit is a very well-known and well respect Detective. On the ninth of May she stood in front of a room full of paparazzi and informed them of the disappearance of Mathew Miller, she gave mild details of the crime against his family and appealed to the public for information leading to the safe return of Mathew Miller. However, after reading the speech written by her superior officer Captain Donald Cragen she made a personal appeal for the safe return off Mathew Miller, she asked whomever had him to release him safely so that he could be reunited with a family who had already lost so much and for this he was killed, we ask you the jury to find her guilty and we ask for five million dollars to the family of Mathew Miller." Langan said before sitting down with a smug look on his face.

Bayard and Olivier whispered something to each other but Olivia wasn't really listening, she was just trying not to cry because everything that was going on was emotionally draining.

Bayard then gave Olivia's hand a reassuring squeeze before standing up and walking towards the jury in his usual calm courtroom demeanour.

"Detective First Grade Olivia Benson has been a detective for ten years and with the Manhattan's special victims for eight of those, her and her partner Elliot Stabler have an outstanding case closure rate of ninety seven per cent much higher than the NYPD average of eight one. Mr Langan is right, Detective Olivia Benson is a very well-known and well respected Detective, she has rescued countless victims, made them realise that after a crime is committed against them there is reasons to go on and we have five of those victims who are going to testify to the difference Detective Benson made in their lives. Olivia did make the public appeal for the information regarding the safe return of Mathew Miller, she went above and beyond the call of duty when she pleaded for him to be released unharmed to the state of New York, she did it because none of the family came forward till after the boy's death, Harry Miller, his uncle hadn't shown much interest in his safe return until after the boy was killed. It's a very sad shame that Mathew Miller was killed, it was a significant loss for Olivia, who kicked herself and blamed herself for days following the incident even though we tried to remind her it wasn't her fault and we need you to tell her the same thing, find Detective Benson not guilty." He made eye contact with every juror before going to sit back down and Langan called Mr Harry Miller to the stand.

The first bout of questions were about how hard it was to deal with Mathew's death, the emotional side for the family and then it was Bayard's turn to ask him questions. Oliver held Olivia's hand with one hand while his other hand held a pen against a legal pad where he was going to be scribbling down additional questions he could ask that Bayard might miss.

"Mr Miller, where were you on the night Mathew was killed?" Bayard asked.

"At home with my family." He replied.

"Not at the police station pleading with them to find him then?"

"Objection! Relevance?" Langan called.

"If he cared so much for his nephew he would have been pleading with the police to do more, the truth is that Harry Miller didn't even step foot into the one six squad room the whole time Mathew was missing." Bayard replied.

Meanwhile at the benches behind the defence table Elliot was deep in thought. They had questioned the Miller family after Mathew's body was found and something suddenly seemed off to him.

"Cap." He whispered.

"What?" Cragen asked trying to keep his voice as low as he possibly could so that Donnelly wouldn't row them for talking.

"Miller said he was working in his original statement, this is first time he said he was at home." Elliot informed him.

Cragen thought for a moment and then leaned over to Oliver.

"Call a recess." He told his friend.

"What? Bayard's on a roll." Oliver replied catching Olivia's attention.

"What's going on?" She asked.

"Defence now is not the time to be talking with your witnesses." Donnelly called.

"We need a recess your honour some new information has just come into light regarding Mathew Miller's death that requires urgent attention and could change the outcome of these proceedings." Cragen called earning him a very disgruntled look from Bayard who was still stood by the witness box.

"Defence?" Donnelly asked looking from Bayard to Oliver.

"We do need this recess your honour." Oliver called and Bayard trusted him enough to nod in agreement.

"How long?" Donnelly asked.

"Twenty four hours…"

"Objection my client has the right to a speedy trial!" Langan called knowing whatever it was the defence had it would be going against his client.

"And my client has the right to an adequate defence which she can't do if we don't have all the information." Oliver replied in a gruffer voice than Olivia had ever heard him use.

"Mr Benson is right, I will give you twenty four hours these proceedings are postponed until ten am tomorrow." Donnelly banged her gavel and quickly left.

* * *

Everyone rushed back to the precinct where Elliot proved to everyone what he had found.

"Ok so what do we do now?" Olivia asked as she leant against her desk.

"I'm telling you he did it, he killed the family and he killed Mathew and there has got to be something other than this to prove it." Elliot explained.

"Ok Olivia and Elliot I want you to go to his work and shake that alibi and Munch and Fin I want you to go and interview his family, they weren't in the courtroom which is suspicious enough find out where they say he was and remember Olivia to keep away from Harry Miller, don't give the people something to use against you in the court of law." Don Cragen explained.

"Sure thing Cap." Everyone mumbled in reply before hurrying off, luckily for Elliot Olivia had gotten quite used to the crutches and could move at quite a decent speed.

Oliver and Bayard were sat in Cragen's office when he joined them and filled them in on where the Detectives had gone and what their theory was.

"Is it safe for Olivia to be out there with a threat against her and she can't walk?" Bayard asked feeling very concerned for his girlfriend's well-being.

"She'll be fine Ellis, she's with Elliot and he has always got her back but I need her on this case if I'm going to catch the bastard." Cragen explained.

"I know, I just care for her." Bayard informed him, he wasn't going to be scolded for making sure the woman he loved was alright.

* * *

Two hours later everyone was back in the squad room sifting through information they had collected, his family had told the Detectives that he wasn't there and they thought he was at work but they weren't so sure anymore and they also sent their apologies to Olivia, they didn't agree with the law suit against her.

Elliot and Olivia had found out that no, Harry Miller wasn't in work and that meant his alibi was shot and he was definitely the prime suspect.

"We found his finger prints all over the front door and bedroom door." Olivia pointed out.

"It's circumstantial, he obviously went there if they were family." Bayard replied.

"Ok but what about the fact there was no sign of forced entry, could he have had a key?" Olivia continued.

"It's more than possible." Elliot replied as he scanned the crime scene board.

"I know how we can figure out if it was him or not." Olivia smirked.

"Well?" Cragen snapped knowing Olivia was going to enjoy this moment.

"There was DNA found inside Mathew Miller's rectum, compare the DNA to his fathers and if they're brother they will have a mitochondrial match, that is as long as they had the same mother." Olivia explained.

"Elliot call Warner and get her to put a rush on the DNA." Cragen smiled, Olivia could definitely be smart when she wanted to.

"Benson if you'd have stayed on this case we could have got him days ago." Fin smiled.

"Yeah but it doesn't tie up the rest of the Miller case, we need the murder weapon." Olivia replied.

"Olivia call Novak and tell her to have a warrant ready to be signed by a judge as soon as the DNA results come back." Cragen told her and she hobbled without her crutches over to her desk and quickly dialled the familiar number for the ADA.

"Now we wait?" Munch asked hopeful.

"No I want the two of you to go back to the witness who saw Mathew Miller's body dumped with a photo array and see if he can identify Harry Miller as Mathew's killer, the more evidence we have the stronger the case." Cragen explained and the two men nodded and went to print off pictures leaving Bayard, Oliver and Don to go back to the office and wait.

* * *

It was three in the afternoon when the DNA result came back. Warner hand delivered it with a wide grin on his face.

"We have our match." She smiled handing it over to Olivia who was grinning happily.

"Ok now we need the search warrant signed Olivia call Casey and tell her to meet everyone at the Miller's house." Cragen informed her. "But you stay here…"

"What? Why? I'm the one who had the brainwave about the DNA!"

"And you're the one that's being sued, and they'd accuse you of planting evidence, don't make this harder on yourself Olivia." Cragen replied gently, he knew she wanted to be involved in the action.

"Fine." She grumbled before making her way to the phone to call the ADA for a second time.

She was made to sit in the office with Don, Oliver and Bayard drinking coffee while all her co-workers were out having fun, well, they weren't really having fun they were working but Olivia knew she'd have more fun out there than she would sat in here.

She was sat sideways on the couch with her feet on Bayard's lap after kicking off her court shoes. Bayard was gently massaging her feet, he knew she was tense and because of the way she was sat it was the only thing he could do even if it did make her giggle as she had tickly feet.

When Don Cragen's phone rang no one batted an eyelid but when he hung up and turned to Olivia she knew he was worried.

"What is it Cap?" She asked putting her feet back on the ground.

"We all need to head over to the Miller house, apparently we won't believe it until we see it." He explained.

Olivia was throwing her shoes on and limping out the door quickly making everyone else hurry after her, they sped from the precinct to the crime scene and were met by Elliot.

"Just don't freak out Liv." He told her as she took Bayard's hand in her own.

They were lead down into the basement at first, an average looking games room but then they were lead through a hidden door in the book case.

"I thought this stuff only happened in movies." Olivia commented sarcastically.

When she saw what was in the room she froze. The room was covered in pictures of her, newspaper clippings, articles, webpage print outs. She felt sick. Then against one wall were shelves filled with videos and Olivia wondered what on earth would be on them.

"He's been following me for years." Olivia noted when she saw a picture of herself with very short hair, she remembered cutting it off, deciding to experiment with her hair and she remembered how quickly she'd grown it out too, short hair wasn't her thing.

"Yeah check this out." Elliot said knocking the play button.

It was the video of the threat she'd received without any of the editing, she was gobsmacked but now it didn't really surprise her, Harry Miller had been stalking her for at least five years and it sent a sickening rush through her body.

"I think we have enough for an arrest warrant." Olivia noted dryly.

"More than enough, Elliot go and call Casey, Olivia let's go." Cragen said.

Olivia nodded and held tighter onto Bayard as they left the room, she'd been stalked in the past, she could think of numerous cases that had people with multiple photos of her but this one was even worse, this was freaky.

* * *

When they were back at the station house all they could do was wait for the call to say that Harry Miller had been arrested.

"The sick son of a bitch." Olivia muttered as she paced the office floor.

The men said nothing, they couldn't even begin to imagine what was going through her mind at seeing all that, but one thing they could be certain of was she had questions and she would be expecting answers from Harry Miller.

When the phone rang Olivia stopped and stared at her Captain. The look in his eye told her they had him and she suddenly relaxed a little more, she was safe now, they had him.

"Elliot and Fin are on their way with Miller." Cragen said hanging up.

"Let me talk to him." Olivia said.

"I can't let you do that…"

"Not interrogate him, just talk to him, I need to know why he was following me." She said just as O'Halloran came in with a box of pictures.

"These are just some of the evidence, I was told that you may want to see them before they're processed." He explained.

"Yes…" Cragen saw Olivia bending over the box.

The top most picture had caught her eye, she smiled at it, and passed it to Bayard who also smiled.

"I told you someone was taking photos of us." He replied still grinning.

"It's a good photo." She commented back.

"The first one of us together." He added.

"Don can I go and make copies of this?" She asked showing him the photo.

It was of Olivia and Bayard when they had gone ice skating. He was behind her with his arms wrapped around her waist, it was after she had told him to chase her and the picture had been taking the moment he'd caught her.

"I don't see why not." Cragen replied.

Olivia hobbled out behind O'Halloran. It may have been a little bit weird that the first photo she had of herself and Bayard had been taken by a stalker but she didn't care, it was a photo of them looking so happy and she knew the memory of what was happening in the picture would be with her for much longer than the memory of the circumstances around why the photo had been taken.


	13. Chapter 13

**So yeah here's chapter 12 and I hope you enjoy, this is kind of a filler because I want to move it on a little mainly focus on the relationship between Olivia, Simon, Oliver and Bayard and a bit more of her job because I hate leaving out some crime stuff.**

Olivia didn't get to talk to Harry Miller like she wanted too, he admitted to the threat against her only because he couldn't deny it which in turn meant he dropped the law suit. It was now Friday evening and Olivia and Bayard were meeting with her father at a restaurant, he said he may have known everything about Olivia but he wanted to witness it all for himself, the only way Olivia had agreed was if Bayard was allowed to join them too and Oliver had laughed and said Bayard already was invited.

As they made their way out to the car that Oliver had sent to pick them up Olivia walked much better with just the one crutch, she was finally getting the use of her leg back now the pain was subsiding.

Bayard was nervous, he hadn't been under the impression before that he would have to impress Olivia's family but now her father was on the scene he knew he had a lot of impressing too do.

"Relax." Olivia said sensing his discomfort as the car pulled up outside the restaurant.

Bayard just nodded as the door opened and the driver extended his hand for Olivia to step out. She gave him a polite nod and accepted the crutch Bayard was passing her before he stepped out himself. He took her free arm and they walked together to the concierge.

"We're meeting someone here, under the name Benson." Olivia told him.

"Just this way Ma'am." He said in a rather unusual fake British drawl.

Olivia and Bayard followed him to a table in the back of the room where Oliver was already sitting.

"Ah Olivia." He smiled as he stood up.

"Hi Dad." She replied as he held her shoulders and kissed her lightly on the cheek.

He then shook Bayard's hand with a polite smile on his face.

"Good evening Mr Benson." Bayard replied hiding the nervousness well.

"Please Bayard call me Oliver we're here for pleasure not business." Oliver replied happily as he glanced over at Olivia for acceptance.

Bayard nodded and then he pulled out Olivia's seat for her and helped her to sit down.

The truth was there was no one more nervous around the table than Oliver. He wanted his daughter to accept him but he also knew she had a lot of feelings and the main one would be confusion, the life he had led before he went into Witsec was so different to the life he had lived for nearly forty years, it was also very different to the one Olivia had grown up with and he didn't want her to feel uncomfortable, he was a man of wealth and he had a reputation which Olivia would slowly uncover now that she knew the truth about him, he didn't want her to hate him.

"I wanted to speak with you Olivia." Oliver said calmly.

"About what?" She shrugged as she peered over the menu in her hand.

"About your living arrangements." He explained.

Olivia swallowed, she'd planned on looking for another apartment but she had been so busy with the case and the law suit.

"Well I'm not going back to my old apartment, I'm going to be looking for somewhere else, I just haven't really had the time." She explained.

"Well that's not exactly what I meant." He replied shakily, he was scared Olivia would reject his idea.

"What did you mean then?" She asked sipping the glass of water that she had in front of her.

"Well, I wanted to ask if I could buy you an apartment." He explained without looking at her, he didn't want to see the rejection in her eyes.

"Wow uh Dad that's uh, that's a really generous offer." She explained in surprise, unsure how she should answer him.

"It's ok if you don't want me too, I mean, I don't want you to think that I'm trying to buy you off or anything but I just want to treat you in the way a Benson deserves to be treated, the way a daughter of mine should be treated. " He said hurriedly.

"Dad, I don't think that at all, I just haven't thought about what I want to do, I mean, Thank you, your offer is very generous." She stumbled over her words.

"Damn I knew I shouldn't have asked." He said throwing a set of keys across the table.

"What's this?" She asked picking them up and looking at them questioningly.

"I already bought you a place, if you don't want it then sell it but it's yours." He explained handing her a piece of paper with the address on it.

"You've got to be kidding me!" She gasped looking at the address.

It was for a four bedroom penthouse suite in Manhattan's finest area.

"The place even has a doorman twenty four seven, I'd feel much safer with knowing most people can't get into your building." He smiled and she was still looking at the paper in shock. "And just remember I'm not trying to buy you off, I just want you to be happy and safe." He explained.

"Dad…. Thank you." She managed, she didn't actually know what to say, no one had ever been this kind to her before, his generosity was a shock.

"There's plenty of room there for when you decide to have little Benson's running around…"

"Dad!" Olivia laughed interrupting him.

"Sorry, had to be said." He shrugged laughing back just as a fourth person joined their table.

"Sorry I'm late." Don Cragen smiled.

"I thought you were going to be a no show old man!" Oliver laughed as Don took his seat.

"Enough of the old man you, there's only three year between us!" Don laughed.

Olivia looked at the two men, one was her father biologically, the other had been the closest thing to a father than she'd ever had. She smiled at them, Don had been a father figure but what he was, was an uncle, he was like a brother to her father and for the first time she felt complete.

* * *

"This place is amazing." Olivia gasped as she stood by the open front door.

Bayard just looked around in shock, he knew that Oliver Benson was made of money, he'd earned millions trying cases in the past and having not been able to spend the money when he was in Witsec the interest had almost doubled what had been in his accounts.

Olivia and Bayard walked into the front room and Olivia grinned. She had a perfect view of Manhattan as the large window extended from one wall to the other. They were twenty floors up and so no one could see in.

The whole apartment was modern. The living room with its glass wall fifty two inch TV, white leather three piece suite and fluffy white shag rug was just the beginning. The kitchen had white cupboards and black marble counter tops with silver fridge, cooker and appliances. Then there was the master bedroom, a dark red, black and white, the wall behind the bed in red, white and black flower patterned wall paper with the king size circular shaped bed up against it. A walk in wardrobe door opposite which Olivia noted was full of female clothes all in her size and beside it was the bathroom which Olivia noted was the size of her old apartment, the gold and white shinning in the light of the sun beaming through the window, the large Jacuzzi bath in the middle of the floor with double shower off to the side and two person sink area. The other two bedrooms were much simpler, one with a queen size double bed, the decor cream and beige and the third bedroom had two single beds and everything in the room was again beige and cream. The second bathroom was a little smaller than the first with only a shower, toilet and sink.

"I know my Dad said he wasn't trying to buy me but I can't help but think he's gone a little extreme." Olivia smiled as she walked into the kitchen and picking up the bottle of champagne that had been cooling in what was now a bucket of water. Beside the two glasses was an envelope and Olivia opened it to find another key and a note.

Hope you like the place; I know it's a bit much but nothings too good for my Baby Doll. Take the key down to the underground garage. All my love Dad xx

Olivia looked at Bayard who shrugged, she couldn't believe that he'd bought her a car too but unless she went downstairs to check then she'd never know. Slowly the two of them left the apartment and took the elevator to the underground garage. She walked up to the man at the security desk who was smiling broadly.

"Ms Benson?" He asked quizzically.

"Yeah my Dad told me to bring this key down here." She explained and the man smirked knowingly.

"Right this way." He said as he stepped out of his booth.

Bayard and Olivia held hands as they were shown the way.

"This one's yours." The security guy smiled.

Olivia and Bayard's jaws fell wide open.

"You serious?" Olivia asked and the man nodded with a happy smile on his face.

"Your father said you deserved the best when he handed me the keys and told me to park it." He smiled handing her the keys in his hand.

"So what's this key?" Olivia asked.

"A way to get you down here." The man explained.

"My Dad trusted you with the keys to this?" Olivia asked in shock.

"Hey I'm offended!" He teased before laughing. "Your father is a good man Ms Benson I knew him before he 'died'." He used his fingers so she'd get the message.

"Yeah ok, now I am taking this out for a spin." Olivia smiled as she walked over to the car and ran her hand over the bonnet.

The truth was the car was way too fancy for her liking. The blue Ferrari California was what Olivia expected to see drug barons and very high end pimps driving but she couldn't deny that she felt like a Princess getting such a gift from her long lost father.

"Uh Olivia have you checked out the plate?" Bayard asked still stuck to the spot.

Olivia stepped back and she couldn't help but laugh.

B3NS0N

It was nothing more than comical in Olivia's eyes, she was in such a state of shock and excitement.

"Your father said that anything you need to know about the car as well as the insurance details and all the papers are in the glove compartment. Now I'll let you enjoy your new toy Ms Benson." The security guy smiled.

"Thank you and if you don't mind my asking what's your name?" Olivia asked curiously.

"Bill." He replied with a nod of his head.

"Well thank you Bill." She smiled before turning back to the car with a face like a child on Christmas morning. "You coming for a ride?" Olivia asked turning back to Bayard.

"You're insane driving this thing." Bayard laughed as he went over to the passenger side.

"Well it isn't supposed to just sit here." Olivia replied happily.

As soon as she started the engine and the machine roared into life Olivia squealed like a little girl, she'd never been a fan of fancy cars but being a fan of them and owning one was two completely different things.

"I am going to have so much fun teasing the guys with this tomorrow." Olivia smirked as she thought about turning into the precinct parking lot with her new machine.

"You're going to drive this thing into work?" Bayard asked still dumbfounded by a car he'd only ever dreamed of owning.

"Like I said it isn't supposed to just sit here and other than work where else do I drive?" Olivia laughed gleefully.

One thing Bayard was smiling about was seeing Olivia happy, the past few days had taken its toll on her but she was now going to slowly get back to normal, he just hoped after all this she'd still be interested in him because she'd suddenly gone from being Olivia Benson cop to Ms Olivia Benson, Upper Class Defence Lawyer's daughter, he had a niggling feeling it wouldn't change her in anyway but he couldn't deny the niggling fear that was penetrating his happiness.

**Hehe I know nothing about cars and so settled on a Ferrari because I like them haha!**


	14. Chapter 14

That night Olivia and Bayard slept at her new apartment, she insisted that they went over to his place and get some stuff and she even persuaded him to bring enough clothes that he wouldn't have to rush home every morning after they slept in the same place, she had plenty of her stuff at his apartment now and clearing out some space in her new closet wasn't going to be any problem.

At four in the morning Olivia's cell phone rang making her untangle herself from Bayard's warm embrace to answer it grumpily.

"Benson." She snapped.

_Sorry to wake you sleeping beauty but you're needed._

"What have we got?" Olivia asked pushing herself to sitting and rubbing the sleep out of her eyes.

_Rape Homicide I'll text you the address now Cragen wants us all on this one._

"I'm on my way." She groaned, the bed was far too comfortable to get out of.

She plodded into the bathroom and took ten minutes alone just to figure out how to turn the shower on. Once she was showered she went into the walk in closet and took another fifteen minutes trying to locate everything that she would need for the day. While digging through the clothing in the closet she couldn't help but wander had her father done all this shopping himself, somehow she doubted it but whoever had done it had gotten her style down pretty badly. She was usually slacks and sweater but then her father had met her when she was in business attire and so he wouldn't have known. Finally she settled on a pair of grey pin stripped trousers a white blouse and matching grey pin stripped waist coat, it was the closest thing she could find that resembled her usual attire. She then found a pair of black boots which she was grateful for, she couldn't chase after perps in court shoes easily, she'd proven that when she'd been a foot behind Elliot the day they were blown up.

That's when she realised she wasn't in any pain with her leg. As she towel dried her hair she shifted her weight from one foot to the other, relishing in her new found strength.

Once she was happy with the way she looked she went back into the bedroom and sat on the edge of the bed as she extracted her weapon and badge from her purse and put in a simple pair of earrings, as she put on her watch she felt an arm snake around her waist and jerk her back into the bed.

"B…" She groaned.

"Come back Princess." He replied without even opening his eyes.

"As much as I would like to I have to get to work." She replied in a whisper as she leant in to him.

"Be safe." He murmured.

"I will and the spare key is on the table by the door, keep hold of it, you never know when you might need it." She smiled.

He grinned at her as his eyes flickered open, she was already giving him a key to her new place and that meant a lot, he had given her a key to his but that's because she was staying with him when there was a threat against her life.

"I love you." He said pushing his hand into hers.

"I love you too, call me later." She leant in and brushed her lips against his, when he tried to deepen it she groaned and pulled away. "If I don't go now I'm never going to go." She told him, she didn't want him to reject her.

"Ok have a good day." He smiled and as soon as the bedroom door shut he smiled and slipped back into a peaceful slumber, the first nights peace since the threat had been made on Olivia's life.

ILB

Olivia took her new car with her to the crime scene, as expected the roar of the engine grasped the attention of everyone nearby. As Olivia stepped out and headed towards the crime scene tape she clicked the switch locking the car in the process.

"Sorry Ma'am you can't cross this is a crime scene a uni told her making her giggle and flash her badge.

The young uni blushed and then raised the yellow tape for her to step underneath just in time for her to almost walk into Elliot.

"That your car?" He asked in shock.

"Yeah." She replied trying to hide the smirk playing her lips.

"Jeez Liv what bank did you rob to afford that?" He asked in shock just as Munch, Fin and Cragen approached them.

"Stabler what are you staring at?" Fin asked seeing Elliot staring still open mouthed.

"Olivia's new ride." He replied the shock also evident in his voice.

"What?" Fin and Munch followed Elliot's gaze to the blue car currently with it's hard top up.

"No way is that Liv's!" Fin gasped.

Olivia not liking the way he said what he did pressed the button on her keys unlocking it.

"Enough proof for you there Fin?" She asked before locking it again.

Cragen just stood there sniggering.

"Why are you laughing? Benson's driving a Ferrari!" Munch said turning to their superior.

"I know, I helped picked it out." He replied and it was Olivia's turn to look dumbstruck.

"Don't look so surprised." Don replied pushing his hand under Olivia's jaw and closing her mouth for her.

"You knew I'd be turning up in this?" She asked.

"Either you'd love it and want to show it off or you'd take a sledge hammer to it, I'm glad you chose the former." He replied still smirking.

"Oh Liv you have got to give us a ride in that." Fin said still staring at the car.

"Go near Baby Benson and I will kick your ass." She said making all the men smirk, she must have liked it to give it a name already. "Now don't we have some work to do?"

* * *

Olivia found out that the reason everyone had been called in on this case was because it was an ADA who worked for Vice that had been killed. It was a shock to all of them but they were going to try and work it like it was any other case.

Casey arrived at the squad room with bloodshot eyes and a red nose and Olivia rushed over to embrace her friend.

"Why did she have to die?" Casey hiccupped.

Olivia knew the ADA wouldn't want to break down in front of the rest of the squad and quickly led her up to the lounge where she could cry in privet while being embraced by a friend. Olivia knew why Casey was upset, Patricia Coldwell or Trish as both Olivia and Casey had known her had been a good friend to the sex crimes ADA and Olivia had been lucky enough to join them both for lunch a few times and now having Casey sobbing on her shoulder she finally felt like it was ok for her to shed a tear too.

"It's not fair Olivia, she was one of the best." Casey sniffed.

"I know Case' I know." Olivia replied as she held her friend tight, Casey could tell Olivia was crying too.

"I think I might have a lead for the case though." Casey explained sitting upright and going into her brief case to pull out some documents.

Olivia could easily see that they were court transcripts and quickly flicked through them.

"She had just prosecuted a pimp who worked half of Manhattan's women, he threatened her in open court Olivia and we all told her she should have a protective detail until we could be sure he wouldn't carry out the threat but she rejected." Casey explained between sniffs.

"Ok, Casey I'm going to head back down and sort this out ok, I'll find out who hurt her I promise." Olivia wrapped her arms around her friend as more tears fell down her own cheeks.

"I know, I have to prepare the Hogan case for court anyway, the defence is filling about a hundred motions." Casey explained laughing weakly through her sniffles.

"Ok call me if you need anything ok Case? Don't hesitate." Olivia smiled.

"Stop putting on a brave face Olivia, she was as much your friend as she was mine." Casey replied getting to her feet. "You know it's ok to grieve, no one will think any less of you."

As soon as Casey's footsteps disappeared from her ears Olivia's tears tumbled down her cheeks, she hated crying in front of anyone especially her co-workers so she was glad she was able to hold it all together until she was in privet with Casey. Of course Elliot had seen Casey leave and wondered why his partner hadn't come downstairs so made way to investigate her disappearance.

He found her curled up in the corner of the couch, her head on her knees, her shaking shoulders the only sign that she was crying.

"Liv?" He whispered sitting down beside her and resting a hand on her shoulders.

"I'm fine." She whispered picking up her head and wiping her tears on the back of her hand.

"No you're not, you're crying, what's wrong? Is it Casey?" Stabler wasn't going to let this one go and she knew it.

"Trish…" Olivia's voice cracked. "I knew her El, not just knew her, she was my friend …" The tears continued to stream down Olivia's cheeks as she spoke. "Me, Casey and Trish would go for lunch every Wednesday unless one of us was busy for which we would always rearrange before the following Wednesday if possible, I can't believe she's gone!" Olivia cried hard and Elliot knew it was taking a lot for her to let it all out in front of him.

He pulled her into an embrace and gently stroked her back as he would one of his children when they were upset.

"Maybe you should ask Cragen to take you off the case Olivia." Elliot whispered which made her jerk from his embrace and jump to her feet.

"I don't think so Elliot, I'm going to find the son of a bitch who killed her and I am going to kill them with my bare fucking hands." She replied before storming downstairs, there was no way in hell that she was going to let this case slip from her fingertips.

Elliot followed her down and after she'd wiped the tears from her cheeks she told the gang what Casey had told her and handed them the court transcript.

"Ok Munch and Fin go up to Sing Sing and see what Mr Degalio has to say for himself, Elliot check his phone records and request a copy of his visiting log, Olivia a word in my office." Don Cragen sent everyone to work while Olivia followed him silently into the office.

She wasn't surprised to see her father there with a coffee in his hand.

"Ok not that I'm not pleased to see you Dad but Don I'm working." Olivia said as her father stood to greet her.

"I'm not here to distract you from your work Baby Doll, I don't know why you're in here…" He turned to Don who was sat back in his office chair which Olivia was convinced was moulded to the shape of his backside by now.

"I didn't call you in here to speak with your Dad Olivia, actually Oliver would you mind giving us a moment." Don smiled at his best friend, it was good to have him back.

"Uh sure, I'll go talk with Elliot." Oliver shrugged guessing if Olivia wanted him to know then she'd tell him afterwards.

"Take a seat Liv." Don smiled as soon as the door was closed behind Oliver.

"No I'll stand, tell me what's up." Olivia replied, she wasn't in the mood for this, someone had just killed someone she'd let close enough into her life to be considered a friend and that wasn't ok with her.

"Ok, I wanted to know if you could handle this case, I mean, everyone could tell you'd been crying." Don explained.

"I can handle this case." Olivia replied firmly, there was no way she was going to be pulled from this case without a fight.

"Ok, how close were you to the vic Olivia?" He asked.

Olivia sighed and began playing with her watch, her eyes needing to be anywhere but on the concerned uncle behind the desk.

"Liv?" He asked making her sigh again and look up to him.

"For the past two years we've met up at least once a week for lunch, myself, Trish and Casey Novak, then at least once a month we'd go out for a girls only drinking session with Melinda Warner." Olivia replied stoically, she didn't want to let on to her superior that this case was already becoming emotionally draining.

Don felt sick, he couldn't imagine anything worse than seeing the body of a friend in the state they had seen Patricia Coldwell's that morning, he knew the vision was going around and around behind Olivia's brown eyes.

"I've called Huang in to try and profile the perp …" Olivia went to argue but Cragen's hand went up to stop her. "When he arrives I expect you to sit down with him so he can clear you to work this case."

"That's not fair! I don't need my head shrunk!" She yelled.

"I don't care because with everything that's happened over the past couple of weeks I think you do now this isn't optional Olivia, sit down with George or sit behind a desk and off this case, your choice."

Olivia knew not to argue so after giving him a look she reserved for the filthiest of perps she left making sure to slam the office door hard enough to make the glass reverberate. She walked straight past her partner and father who had been waiting for her to exit having heard the yelling and they were in too much shock to react instantly.

"Where is she going?" Oliver asked as soon as she'd gone out of sight.

"Probably the roof to calm down." Elliot replied with a sigh. "She only goes up there when she's pissed off, frustrated or sad."

"Ok, uh tell Don I've gone to make sure she's alright." Oliver replied running his fingers through his hair making Elliot realise that even habits could be inherited because that's what Olivia did when she was frustrated too.

* * *

Olivia looked out over the Manhattan skyline and chuckled to herself when she realised she could see her apartment from here, meaning she would be able to see here from the apartment too. It was a steady thought running through her mind allowing her a few precious minutes forgetting why she had stormed up here in the first place.

"Baby Doll?" Her father's voice echoed from the doorway.

She didn't say anything and she didn't move as she heard his footsteps walk towards her.

"Nice view." He commented when he arrived beside his daughter.

"I was just thinking I can see my apartment block from here." She smiled pointing to the tower that housed her penthouse suite.

"Do you like it?" He asked hopeful.

"Dad it's amazing, thank you so much." She smiled turning to him.

"I thought you might find it a bit much…"

"No, I mean, a little but it doesn't mean I don't like it, just means it will take some getting used too." She explained making him smile. "Now the car … that was a bit much." She laughed making his smile turn into a grin.

"I thought every woman dreamed of having a Ferrari." He replied chuckling.

"Yeah a dream that usually never comes true." Olivia replied laughing still.

"Olivia…" He said seriously making all laughter stop. "I want to make all your dreams come true, you're my daughter." He smiled placing his hand on top of hers as a tear slipped down her cheek. "What's wrong?"

"I just don't know how I can feel so happy and so sad at the same time." Olivia sniffed as another tear trickled.

"What's making you sad Baby Doll?" He asked as he pushed a lock of her hair behind her ear.

"Our victim in a rape homicide is a friend of mine was a friend of mine." She sighed at her mistake.

"Oh Baby Doll why don't you take a back seat with this case?" He asked softly.

"No way." Olivia said firmly. "I'm going to make sure I get the opportunity to personally castrate the bastard."

Oliver chuckled.

"What?" Olivia chuckled nervously and self-consciously.

"You inherited your stubbornness from your mother I see." He smiled.

"Did I?" Olivia asked, no one had ever been there to tell her what traits she'd inherited from either parent so this was a very new experience for her. "I always thought I may have gotten it from you."

"No way, I'm a push over … well in most cases I'm a push over." He smirked making Olivia laugh.

"I have to go back down." Olivia sighed, she knew Huang would have arrived by now.

"Duty calls." He replied.

"No, Don wants me to see the in house shrink before he'll let me work this case." Olivia sighed.

"Just smile and tell him everything's fine." Oliver replied.

"How did you know?" She laughed. "That's what I always do."

"Does it work?" He asked sniggering.

"I wish." She replied before she turned and hugged her father.

He pulled her close and breathed in her scent, the first time he was properly holding his daughter and he couldn't deny that it was the most natural thing in the world. When she finally pulled away, he felt a little disappointed.

"Come on the Doctor awaits." He teased making her laugh.

* * *

Olivia sat on the couch facing Huang, He was as usual, calm with that caring twinkle in his eye that always drove Olivia mad because she was convinced he didn't care but just tried to get people to open up to him.

"So how are you?" He asked.

"Fine." She replied and within seconds she was laughing as she remembered what her father had said on the roof.

"What's funny?" He asked, genuinely intrigued.

"Nothing …" She knew better than to lie. "Just something my dad said." She shrugged hoping he'd drop it, but of course she'd just given him an opening.

"How are things between yourself and your Dad?" Huang asked softly.

"Good." Olivia replied, she felt like she was in the witness box having to keep her answers short and sweet.

"Just good?" He asked raising an eyebrow towards her.

She frowned, why couldn't he just accept her answers and not question them further? It always annoyed her.

"Yeah, sometimes I think he'd trying to hard but I'm just counting my blessings that I found out the truth and got the chance to be in his life before it was too late." Olivia shrugged.

Huang scribbled something on his legal pad before turning back to her, seeing him writing something down unnerved her a little.

"Ok tell me about this case." Huang moved on sensing she didn't want to discuss her father anymore.

"What about it?" She snapped, she knew she had to be careful here or she'd be thrown off the case.

"How did you feel seeing the body of your friend?" He asked.

She bowed her head, she didn't want to cry but as the image flooded her mind again she couldn't help the tears from filling her eyes.

"It's ok to be upset Olivia, it's alright to grieve." He told her softly.

"We were supposed to meet on Wednesday but because of everything going on I cancelled, she would have told me that she'd been threatened and I would have been able to protect her, persuade her to have a detail or something … I could have stopped this." Olivia explained through her tears.

"No Olivia, no you couldn't have and you don't want to start blaming yourself for any of this, you've had a tough week and if Patricia wanted you to know about this she'd have come to see you." Huang replied.

"I can't stop thinking that if I'd met with her and Casey as usual then she would have told me and I would have been able to persuade her to have a PD George." She sniffed.

"I don't think you would have Olivia, numerous people tried to persuade her to take a protective detail and she refused and I don't think you asking would have made that much of a difference if she'd set her mind on not having one." George explained. "Right now you're grieving, and guilt and self-blame are a part of that process. I have to ask though, do you think you can stop blaming yourself enough to help find the person who did this to her?"

"I have to George, if for my own sanity, I have to be involved in helping find him."

**Ok so just a bit of father/daughter bonding over a case, little jump in the next chapter!**


	15. Chapter 15

**Yeah I have actually completed everything I had planned to do with this story but as it's so popular I'm going to keep going … unless you don't want me to ToriRenee!**

Olivia sat at her desk trying her hardest not to fall asleep. She hadn't been home in five days as she was determined to find out who had hurt her friend. There was DNA found on the body so all they needed to do was find a suspect and find something good enough on him to get a court order for DNA but they just had no leads.

"Liv go put your head down in the cribs." Elliot suggested from across the way.

"No, not till I've finished going through this." Olivia replied signalling the phone records from Sing Sing with the list of calls that Fernando Morales had made since Patricia had locked him up.

"Olivia you've been through it five times already." Elliot pointed out.

"I know but Don is twenty four hours away from calling this case cold and I can't let that happen." She snapped, she knew Elliot was just trying to look out for her but he didn't understand how much she needed to find out who'd killed her friend.

"Olivia finding him isn't going to change what happened." Elliot replied softly, he knew she was hurting and he would do anything to take away that pain but there was nothing he could do but be honest with him.

"I know that." She snapped.

He looked at her, she looked so dishevelled that he was very worried about her. He knew she hadn't left the precinct since this case had been in front of them and she knew that she'd barely eaten too.

"Come on you're taking a break." He said getting to his feet.

"Elliot." She groaned, punctuating each syllable like a child not getting her own way.

"That might work with your Dad and Bayard but it doesn't work with me." Elliot replied grabbing her car keys. "And if you don't come now I'm taking Baby Benson for a spin." He added knowing that would get her running after him.

It worked and she chased him down the corridor till she managed to snatch the keys from his grasp.

"No one drives the Ferrari but me, count yourself lucky I let you in it at all." She growled with just a hint of her usual sense of humour making him smirk.

* * *

After making her sit in the bistro to enjoy breakfast they went back to the precinct with a little more energy than they had left. Neither one expected to find both Bayard and Oliver sat at Olivia's desk.

"There you are!" Oliver smiled rushing up to his daughter and wrapping her up in an embrace.

"Yeah?" She questioned looking from her father to her boyfriend and back. "What's going on?"

"We were worried about you, all you've done is text and call in five days, Olivia we haven't seen you in five days, we were worried sick." Oliver explained before Olivia could interrupt him.

"I'm working Dad, my job takes away a lot of my hours." She explained as she wrapped her arms around Bayard and kissed him deeply.

"Ok I know you're a grown woman and all Baby Doll but please, I don't need to see you making out in front of me." He laughed heartily.

"Oh come on Dad, like you said neither one of you have seen me in five days." She replied with a pretend pout, her father turned around and she could wrap her hands around Bayard and kiss him again.

"I missed you." He whispered.

"I missed you too." She replied softly.

"And we're going to dinner tonight." Oliver said turning around again.

"No way, Dad this case is twenty four hours away from being cold, I can't let that happen. I am not leaving here until I find a link or a suspect or any damn lead." She snapped.

Bayard knew her well enough to know she was serious and knew not to argue but Oliver didn't and he wasn't going to sit back and watch her be like this.

"Olivia…"

"No Dad, I am not leaving until I find Trisha's killer and that's the end of it. We can do dinner tomorrow night unless I find the lead I need." Olivia replied and he nodded knowing he wasn't going to be getting around her.

"Stubborn son of a bitch, just like your Mother." He muttered rubbing his forehead as Olivia laughed, she wasn't going to get used to people comparing her to her Mother for a while.

* * *

Two hours after Bayard and Oliver left Olivia found the lead she'd been looking for.

"What is it?" Elliot asked seeing that she'd gotten a bit excited over the information she'd uncovered.

"Look, she had been sent emails…"

"We couldn't trace them." Elliot pointed out.

"But look at the language." Olivia began highlighting certain words and phrases.

"Ok so how does that link up with any of our suspects?" Elliot asked.

"Letters." Olivia replied pulling one letter underneath her nose. "This is our guy." She explained as she highlighted more words and phrases.

"I don't understand, how can you tell?" Elliot frowned.

"Same misspellings and incorrect phrasing, the chances of two different people having the same problems when it comes to writing are slim to none." Olivia explained still giddy that she'd finally found the link she'd been searching for.

"I'll go and tell Cragen and find out if we have enough for a search warrant, we need his computer." Elliot smiled, he knew finding a lead was important to Olivia, he knew how much the victim meant to her as Olivia had obviously let the woman into her life.

* * *

They met Casey at the property with a team from TARU and CSU waiting. Olivia was a happy nervous, she was pleased with herself for finding the link but that didn't stop her from being a little bit nervous that she was seeing what she wanted to see and not what was really there. A judge obviously agreed with her to sign off on the warrant.

Olivia stayed outside, Cragen had told it her it was probably for the best for her not to be in the house when discoveries were made as it would be one more thing for the defence to use against them in court. She watched as his computer was carried out, the hope inside her that he would have incriminating evidence on it.

As she scanned the area she spotted a man walking towards the house. When he saw the cops he froze for a moment and then when he saw Olivia staring at him he jumped and began to run in the direction he'd just come from.

"Stop Police!" Olivia yelled peeling her gun from its holster and giving chase.

Elliot heard Olivia's voice and tore through the house, he knew perps could be trouble when resisting arrest and he didn't want to see Olivia hurt again.

He needn't have worried, Olivia was fast and she was full of adrenaline when she gave chase. She climbed onto someone's garden wall as she ran and once she was sure she was close enough she dived onto the perp.

"Mathew Mitchell, you're under arrest, you have the right to remain silent, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law, you have the right to an attorney, if you cannot afford and attorney one will be appointed to you, get it?" Olivia was breathless as she read the Miranda warning and dragged the wrists of the perp into her handcuffs.

Elliot caught up just as she pulled the man onto his feet.

"Well, well, Mitchell, someone's been a very naughty boy." Olivia teased into the man's ear.

"Shut up bitch." He spat through the pain in his busted shoulder from Olivia's stunt dive.

"Take him in." Olivia said handing him over to Elliot, she needed to catch her breath.

"You ok?" Elliot asked concerned for his partner.

"Sure, I just need a minute." She replied softly as she dropped her hands to her knees and focused on normalising her breath and bringing her heart rhythm to normal.

* * *

Back at the precinct Olivia was made to watch while Fin and Elliot questioned him, Cragen was stood beside her with a protective hand on her shoulder. He knew she was mad at being unable to question him but they had him red handed with the murder weapon with his fingerprints being found at his house.

"Why don't you head off?" Cragen suggested when he spotted her gripping the bar under the window turning her knuckles white.

"I can't, that son of a bitch killed her." She whispered her hands twisting along the bar.

"And he's confessing, you don't need to hear the details." Cragen replied turning down the volume on the intercom system.

"You're right." She sighed as tears prickled her eyes.

"Go on, I'm sure Bayard would like a surprise that you're off early." Cragen smiled giving her shoulder a reassuring squeeze.

"Yeah." She nodded giving him a weak smile before turning on her heels leaving him to make sure that the rest of the confession was taken properly.

**Ok so a massive jump in the next chapter to move the story on a bit.**


	16. Chapter 16

**Five and a half month jump here!**

**PS: I said Olivia was nearly forty through this, clarification she's 37 and Bayard's let's say 42 so much younger than in the show! **

**WARNING: Smut from the start, story half way down if you want to skip it!**

"Don't stop." Olivia moaned as Bayard moved on top of her.

She had her hands wrapped around his neck and was nipping softly as his jaw making him growl deeply.

"God Olivia." He whispered as she wrapped her legs around his waist, her heels pulling him deeper inside of her.

"B." She moaned, he worked magic on her, she forgot to think when he touched her.

"I'm so close." He grunted as she moved her hips to meet his, feeling herself getting closer to the edge too.

"Me too." She replied just as her back arched and her body contorted.

She clamped around him and he felt her body vibrating beneath him, tipping him over the edge. Her nails dug into his shoulders as she called out his name in pure ecstasy.

"Olivia!" He groaned as he fell into his own climax and as her body began to relax beneath him he drove them both through their intense orgasm.

He then collapsed on top of her and she grinned and ran her hand through his short black hair

"I love you." He panted into her naked breasts, his breath tickling her.

"I love you too." She replied giggling.

"We have to get up." He groaned as did she as he slipped out of her in one easy fluid motion.

"My legs are still like jelly." She laughed, he had always managed to reduce her to mush.

"I don't think Don Cragen will take that as an excuse for you being late." Bayard laughed as he leant over her and began peppering her jaw with kisses.

"What? My very horny boyfriend fucked me to the point I couldn't walk?" She asked with a giggle.

"You'd never." He said laughing with her.

"Oh I would." She replied slipping her hands back around his neck as his kiss lowered to her shoulder and collar bone.

"Fuck." He groaned as her foot slid up and down his leg, he was aroused again and he knew Olivia would never let him have just a cold shower to cool down.

"Round two?" She teased arching her back so that her nipples would graze his chest.

"You do crazy things to me Detective Benson." He groaned as he rubbed his now full erection against her thigh making her gasp like a teenager.

"Well councillor it's what happens when you stay on top of me when we're both naked." She replied giggling still.

"It's out six month anniversary, I think morning sex twice and being late to work is allowed." He smirked before thrusting his hips so he'd slide inside her again.

She moaned happily but he just held it in place.

"What?" She asked seeing him stare at her.

"I love you."

"You said that already." She smirked before leaning up to kiss him. "But I love you too."

"You make me so happy Olivia." He whispered.

"I know, I can feel that but you gotta move." She teased.

"No I mean really."

She smiled, this relationship had never been about sex or a physical attraction, yes she was attracted to him physically but what had drawn her to him was his kind nature, mature understanding, and the tenderness of his words.

"You make me happy to B, I've never felt for anyone the way I feel for you." She replied with a twinkle in her eye.

"These have been the best six months of my life." He told her as he slowly started to rock his hips.

"Tell me about it." She said through a moan making him grin, Olivia Benson really did turn into jelly when she was beneath him and he had to admit he loved the affect he had on her.

"I love you so much." He grunted as he picked up his speed.

"I love you too B, so fucking much that it even hurts." She replied her eyes rolling back in her head with pleasure.

She grabbed his shoulders and flicked him over so she was straddling him, it was rare that she was on top, she liked control but in the bedroom she showed her most vulnerable side, but when she did take control he reached his nirvana much quicker.

She slowly rocked her hips and raised up and down. She took his hands and pressed them to her breasts and held them while they massaged her. She swivelled making him moan loudly, she always did that to him and he loved it.

"Move in with me." She moaned.

"What?" He asked still enjoying everything she was giving him.

"Actually move in with me, we've not spent a night apart in six months baby." She explained as she leant forward and started nibbling on his ear.

"Are you sure?" He asked as he moulded his hand into hers.

"Absolutely." She replied with a grin.

"Then yes Detective, I'll move in with you." He smiled before thrusting his hips up to meet her.

"Fuck!" She moaned, she loved it when he did that to her.

He knew Olivia Benson was scared of commitment, she'd broken up with guys who had wanted to take their relationship to the next level and here she was asking him to move their relationship on, to live together was a big deal, a proposal he wanted to drop on her for weeks but knowing her fear had avoided asking her but now she had asked him which was proof she was ready, ready for the commitment and the dependence.

"Bayard." She yelled as she pressed her palms into his chest.

Their hips were moving in complete tandem, she threw her head back and arched her back as she climaxed, screaming out his name to oblivion. He fell over the edge seconds later as her body collapsed onto his he thrust a few more times to drive them through the orgasm.

"Now I really do need an excuse for Cragen." Olivia laughed as Bayard's arms snaked around her perspiration covered body.

"Well you're already late." He laughed.

"I know, but I don't think I can move for a few minutes." She laughed breathlessly as she lay on top of him with him still firmly planted inside of her.

"I don't want to move." He chuckled. "I could stay like this forever."

"But we have to work." She sighed pushing herself up so she was straddling him again.

"I know but if you don't climb off me now we're going to have a real problem." He smirked.

Olivia raised her eyebrows before bursting out laughing. He grinned, she was so beautiful especially when she laughed and he could feel his already pleasured member twitch inside of her.

She felt it too and grinned mischiviously.

"You're already late." He warned her.

"Then kill two birds with one stone and make love to me in the shower." She whispered seductively.

He needn't be told twice. He pushed himself to sitting and with himself still inside her he grabbed her backside and lifted her up. He carried her into the bathroom and turned on the shower to a decent temperature with her already wiggling on his hip making him groan.

As soon as they were under the spray her pushed her up against the tiled walls and made love to her for the third time that morning.

* * *

When Olivia walked into the precinct nearly an hour and a half late (Thank God for the Ferrari or it would have been two hours!) she had an unusual blush on her cheeks and smile transfixed on her face. She tried to act normal as she threw her jacket over the back of her chair but as she went to sit down she felt all her co-workers eyes on her.

"What?" She asked trying to look angry.

"Someone had a good morning." Munch commented with a smirk.

"Shut up, dork." She snapped as the blush crept up her neck.

"Someone had a very good morning." Fin replied making Olivia throw the nearest paper clip towards him.

"So what made Detective Benson so happy this morning?" Elliot asked raising his eyebrows.

"She got laid Stabler, that's obvious." Fin shrugged thinking Elliot wouldn't get it.

"She's been getting laid nearly every morning for the past six months Fin, there's something different going on this morning." Elliot replied as Olivia bowed her head, this was not happening.

"How do you know she's been getting laid ever morning?" Fin asked in surprise.

"Because when she doesn't she's in a foul mood from the second she arrives." Elliot replied. "And she walks in and goes straight to the coffee pot, when she's been laid, she doesn't need the coffee." He smirked.

"Ok seriously, are you discussing my sex life across the squad room?" Olivia snapped having heard enough, but she wasn't mad, nothing could make her mad today.

"Who's sex life?" Don asked as he walked from his office just catching the end of the conversation.

"Benson's." Munch replied causing Olivia to groan.

"Bet that's what she does in bed too." Fin smirked.

"Ok seriously…" Both Cragen and Olivia said at the exact same time.

Olivia bowed her head trying to hide the happiness and embarrassment that was on her cheeks.

"Olivia's like a niece to me, her father is my best friend I really could do without hearing you lot discussing her privet life." Cragen warned them.

"We have to tease her, she's our baby sister." Fin replied with a shrug.

"Fin shut up!" Olivia moaned, she really felt like a school kid being picked on.

"What? If you hadn't come in an hour and a half late with a stupid grin and blushed cheeks even walking a bit funny none of us would have said anything." Munch defended his partner.

"Ok guys that's enough, Olivia obviously doesn't want to talk about her sex life as much as I don't want to hear it, now Munch and Fin you've got a case Vic's at Mercy." Cragen explained handing them a slip and receiving a grateful smile from Olivia.

They sighed and hurried off leaving Olivia and Elliot alone.

"So what did make you happy this morning?" Elliot asked as soon as Cragen's office door shut.

"Didn't you hear, I got laid." She replied innocently.

"Nah there's something more than that." He said as Olivia turned to her computer.

"I got laid three times." She replied without even looking at him.

Elliot dropped the paper that was in his hand and stared at her, she was looking at the computer with a cheeky grin on her face and it took a minute for him to work out if she was serious.

"Three times in one morning?" He asked.

"Twice in the bedroom once in shower." She replied still not looking at him.

"I don't think I've ever made love three times in one morning." He replied. "I don't think I've made love three times in a twenty four hour period!"

"You're missing out." She said teasingly.

"Yeah but I still don't believe that's what made you happy this morning." He said knowing his partner to well.

"I asked Bayard to move in with me." She told him knowing he would badger her if she didn't reveal.

"You asked him?" He asked in complete shock, he was her best friend, he knew about her commitment issues.

"Yup." She replied looking down at the picture of her and Bayard ice skating, that had been taken exactly six months to this day and they still looked as happy as they did in that photo.

"What did he say?" Elliot asked.

"Yes of course." She replied.

"So… is he… is he the one?" Elliot asked, he'd never expected to be in this position with his partner before, he always believed she'd be a one night stand and short term relationship kind of gal.

"I don't know, it's a bit early to be thinking that." She smirked.

A very lost looking delivery guy with a very large bouquet of flowers caught Elliot's attention.

"Can I help you?" Elliot called making Olivia turn.

"Yeah I'm looking for Olivia Benson." He replied.

"That's me." She smiled going over to meet him.

She quickly signed the form and put the bouquet on her desk, it took over the space but she didn't care they were too beautiful to sit anywhere else until she went home.

"Ok he's obviously expecting to get laid three times every morning." Elliot pointed out not noticing that Munch and Fin had walked back into the bullpen.

"Three times in one morning?" Munch gasped.

"Thanks El." She said sarcastically before opening the card that came with her flowers.

_Olivia,_

_Happy six month anniversary, dinner at 8?_

_B x_

Olivia smiled, and grabbed her desk phone quickly ringing him to confirm their dinner date and ignore the conversation Munch, Fin and Elliot were having about her sex life.

"Hey baby." She said into the phone which instantly caught the attention of her co-workers.

She turned her chair as much as she could as her finger twirled around the phone cord.

"I'm just calling to say yes to dinner, and thank you for the flowers they're beautiful." She said feeling the eyes of her co-workers drilling into the back of her head.

"Sounds perfect, happy anniversary." She smiled. "Yeah I love you too, bye." She held the phone for a moment before relaxing her face and turning around to hang it up, trying to look like there was nothing strange going on.

"Anniversary?" Elliot asked.

"Yup." She nodded before shifting the flowers a little so she would have room to work.

"How long?" Elliot asked trying to work it out in his mind.

"Six months." She smiled and his eyes grew wide in shock.

"Wow other than me that's …"

"The longest relationship I've ever had with a man." She replied knowing exactly what he was going to say.

"He's the one isn't he Liv?" Elliot smirked.

"I don't know El now if you don't mind I'd like to get back to work." She replied as his words echoed in her ear. 'he's the one'

**More jumps because I want to move the story on so keep a look out on AN's from chap to chap**


	17. Chapter 17

**Few days of a jump here!**

**A/N : I know I'm uploading sorta quick but it's because the inspiration for this story hasn't stopped flowing till now, since I wrote this chapter a few hours ago I've forgotten what I had planned for it and so I hope you don't mind the wait, those of you reading my numerous other stories will be pleased though because I've finally got some ideas for stories that have been sat there unfinished!**

After their perfect anniversary dinner and dancing followed by ice skating then a movie Olivia had enjoyed spending the night in what she now called their apartment with him in her arms. He moved in that weekend, most of his furniture going into storage and most of his clothing already at her place there had been very little to move. She'd had the fourth bedroom furniture moved to storage to so that they could have an office, him because he needed one and her because she'd always wanted an office.

That Monday Olivia was on call so she didn't have to go to work but Bayard had a big case coming up and needed to go into the office.

Bayard walked into his office rubbing his forehead, it was true that he had a big case coming up but the truth was he was more than ready to face it, the reason he had to lie to Olivia was because he didn't want to ruin the surprise he had.

He met her father in the office and then they took his car to a coffee shop where no one either Bayard or Olivia would know would fall on them and they met with Don Cragen there.

"So Bayard, what did you want to talk to me about?" Oliver started as soon as their coffee's arrived.

"Olivia's happiness is as important to you as it is to me Oliver and the same to you Don." Bayard started nervously, he hadn't expected to be this scared when he had set this meeting up.

"Of course." Oliver replied.

"Well, she means everything to me and I want to spend my life making her happy." Bayard continued.

That's when both men caught on, they knew exactly what Bayard was doing but they were going to let him finish because they both respected him for doing this aspect of it.

"I want to ask her to marry me and I wanted to ask both of you for permission." He explained hurriedly.

Don and Oliver looked at each other, both of them smiling. Seeing that relaxed Bayard somewhat.

"Have you bought a ring?" Oliver asked not going to give his answer immediately.

"Yes sir." Bayard replied pulling a box from his pocked at handing it over.

Oliver and Don both looked at the ring and they both smiled.

"I would be very proud to have you as my son in law." Oliver said as he handed the ring back.

Bayard grinned but then looked at Don expecting his reply.

"I get a say in this?" Don asked in surprise.

"Of course, you've been there for Olivia, if her father hadn't come back into the picture I would have still asked you Don." Bayard explained.

"Thank you." Don replied, he felt happy to still be considered an important aspect of Olivia's life.

"Well?" Bayard asked scared that he was going to say no.

"Of course, you already make her a very happy woman Bayard." Don replied.

"I want you both to be there when I ask her, this Friday, we'll all go for dinner." Bayard smiled.

"Meal will be on me." Oliver said with a smile on his face.

"But first we have to talk." Don said making both men's smile falter. "You ever, ever, even think about hurting her, you will have a very big problem on your hands, as well as the two of us there will be her overprotective big brothers and some big time mafia bosses that Oliver is friendly with."

"Yes we can kill you and make it look like an accident." Oliver warned with a snarl that made Bayard swallow hard.

"I'd never hurt her." Bayard managed to say.

"Good. That's what we wanted to hear!" Don smiled cheerily as did Oliver which helped Bayard relax once again.

"So this Friday." He smiled lifting up his coffee.

"This Friday." Both men replied.

* * *

The following Friday came far too quick for Bayard's liking. As Olivia stood in front of him and he closed the zipper on her red Chanel dress that he hoped he would just be unzipping later that night.

Little did he know was that Olivia was nervous too. She had her own secret that she wanted to share this evening.

"What time are we meeting your Dad again?" Bayard asked as Olivia went to slip on some make up.

"Eight." She replied.

"It's ten to already." He pointed out.

"I know!" She snapped, she didn't mean to, she was nervous and so that made her cranky.

"You almost ready?" He asked carefully not wanting to make her snap at him again.

"I am ready." She replied as she grabbed her purse.

He reached out his arm and she smiled and took it before they left going down to the car her father had sent for them.

* * *

At the restaurant her father and Don were already chatting away. After they greeted each other Olivia and Bayard's wine glasses were filled up as they all looked over the menu.

"Could I have the chicken salad please?" Olivia smiled handing over the menu.

Bayard looked at her in surprise, she was normally a pasta kind of girl and to hear her order something as basic as a salad shocked him.

"I'll have the stake please." He said handing over his own menu while his eyes glazed over Olivia, there was something different about her tonight, something he couldn't place, she was normally chatty and excitable when she was spending time with her father but Bayard couldn't help but think that she was being distant this evening.

"So baby Doll how's the car running?" Her father asked deciding to take control of the quiet table.

"Like a dream Dad." She replied with a distracted smile on her face that told the men she wasn't really thinking about the car.

"Good, glad to hear it." He said noticing that Olivia wasn't paying any attention to him.

"So Don how is life at the one six?" Oliver continued trying desperately to catch Olivia's attention but failing miserably.

Bayard slipped his hand into hers under the table and leant into her ear.

"Are you ok?" He asked her softly.

"I'm fine." She replied with a soft smile that told him otherwise.

"Olivia if you don't want to be here we can leave." He told her realising that she didn't just look distracted but she looked a bit sick too.

"No baby I'm fine." She said bringing a hand to his cheek. "I just have some things on my mind but I want to try and enjoy tonight with you and my Dad and Don." She told him rubbing her thumb along his cheek bone.

"Ok." He smiled before leaning in and kissing her lightly.

As the food was severed Olivia slowly touched the waiters arm to grasp his attention.

"Would I possibly be able to get a glass of cola?" She asked softly.

"Of course Ma'am, I'll be right back with it." He smiled.

"Actually could you make it a diet?" Olivia asked and again the waiter nodded before leaving.

"Something wrong with the wine Baby Doll?" Oliver asked picking his own up and swirling it in the glass.

"No Dad, the wine's fine I'm just not in the mood for it tonight." She explained gaining herself a very quizzical look from Don Cragen.

"Ok, whatever you want." Oliver replied a little suspiciously.

Bayard was concerned about her and when she went to the bathroom he would have forgotten the reason he was there had he not slipped his hand into his pocket.

"I don't think tonight's the right night." He said to the two men opposite him.

"Why not?" Oliver asked thinking this man was about to break his daughter's heart.

"She's not feeling well, I want her to remember the night I propose because she loved every minute of it." Bayard explained as his hand fumbled with the blue velvet box.

"If you don't do it tonight, it's going to take a long time for you to build up the courage to do it again Son." Don told him.

"I know, I just …" Bayard sighed, he didn't know why he was thinking about putting off the engagement even though he was one hundred per cent sure that he wanted to marry her.

When she came back they all enjoyed a dessert and even Olivia had seemed to peak up a little by the time they had ordered coffee.

Bayard looked over at Oliver who gave him a reassuring nod, it was now or never. He stood up and walked around to Olivia's side and helped her turn so she was sitting side on in his seat. Then he knelt down and her heart fluttered in his chest as he pulled out the box.

"Olivia Benson, you are the love of my life, the only person I have ever loved and ever will love. I want to spend the rest of my days making you happy, living with you, loving with you, being with you, I want you to be my wife Olivia…" He flicked open the box to show a 1.75 carat 7.8 millimetre diamond round cut in a white gold band costing easily five figures. "Olivia Benson, will you marry me?" He asked.

Olivia was crying even before he opened the box, and as she looked deep into his brown eyes she grinned widely.

"Yes B, yes of course I'll marry you!" She replied diving into his arms.

Both Don and Oliver cheered and then Oliver called for champagne while everyone else in the restaurant clapped for the tear ridden couple. Bayard then sat her back down and slipped the rock onto her finger before kissing her hand.

"Jesus Olivia, no one's going to miss that rock, it's huge." Don smiled trying to make out he hadn't already seen it.

She looked down and realised he was right, the rock was huge, it stood up about five millimetres from her finger encased in a white gold cage holding it in place. She also knew quite a bit about diamonds and knew that the ring hadn't come cheap, Bayard would have had to dig deep into his savings to be able to afford even a fraction of this ring.

As the champagne was served Olivia forgot all about her secret and sipped the liquid along with everyone but Don who stuck to club soda. She enjoyed the company of her family and as she did her thumb found the band of her ring and twirled it making it catch the light so often, Don Cragen who spotted this smiled happily at her, she deserved her happy ever after.

**So yeah?**


	18. Chapter 18

**Yeah so I'm still shocked at how many people are loving this paring, I'm so pleased because since David left and before he came into the show I was rooting for Bayard and Olivia to get together or how me and ToriRenee161 call them BOLIVIA let's get it going peeps!**

Olivia was exhausted when she walked into the precinct the next morning. Not only was she an hour late again and was in for a hounding from the others but she and Bayard had stayed up having slow passionate sex until early hours in the morning and had decided to try the three times in one morning routine again, so far she'd been engaged just ten hours but had already had sex with her fiancé four times, there was no walking straight today because she was sore.

"Look who finally decided to crawl out of bed!" Elliot teased as Olivia slumped into her chair.

"Ha. Ha." She spat not in the mood for it this morning.

"And look who didn't get much sleep last night." Fin joined in earning him a filthy look from Olivia.

"Today, Olivia's the penguin!" Munch teased making the others laugh.

Olive dropped her head into her left hand.

"Oh my God look at that rock." Elliot gasped earning him a smile off Olivia.

All three of her co-workers rushed over to see the ring and she handed over her hand.

Fin whistled as he admired it and then Munch who was the one who knew most about Diamonds decided to reveal the details including the cost.

"That's around eight millimetre, two carat? No one point seven five carat round cut in a white gold band, we're talking fifty to sixty thousand dollars for a ring like that." Munch said making Elliot whistle.

"So you're getting married Benson." Fin smiled.

"Yeah." She shrugged nervously, she knew she loved Bayard but the thought of marriage scared her.

"Do you want to marry him Olivia?" Elliot asked dropping his hand to her shoulder.

"Yes." She replied firmly before walking off giving Elliot a filthy look.

He knew where she was going and decided to give her five minutes alone before he'd go and see her.

"So Bayard bought her a five figure diamond ring, he's really gonna be able to take care of her." Fin smiled, he was glad Olivia had found happiness.

"Olivia doesn't need Diamonds to be happy." Elliot pointed out. "And she doesn't need taking care of."

"Oh come on she's living in the Upper East Side, driving a Ferrari and wearing a Diamond, Olivia's turning into a little miss right in front of our eyes." Munch pointed out.

"Come on guys, her Dad's made of money and Bayard puts a nice amount away per annum and she deserves it, Money isn't going to change her and I can't believe that you even think so Munch." Elliot snapped, he wasn't going to have anyone bad mouthing his friend.

"Yeah she wasn't born with a silver spoon in her mouth." Fin informed his partner.

"Money changes people we all know it, we've all seen it." Munch replied.

"Let me make something clear here, says something like that to Olivia and I will hurt you, she's happy, she has her Dad back in her life, she's fallen in love with Bayard and for once in her life everything is going right so I'm telling you to drop this and see for yourself that Olivia hasn't changed and won't change a bit." Elliot snapped before stalking off to find his partner.

"What was that about?" Cragen asked coming towards the two men from his office.

"Munch seems to think Olivia's going to change into an Upper East Side Princess." Fin spat, he was with Elliot, money wouldn't change Olivia.

"Really?" Don asked turning to Munch.

"It was a general assumption." Munch replied knowing his boss wouldn't agree with him.

"Well even if it does she deserves it, no one deserves it more than Olivia, think about it if her dad hadn't been in Witsec when she was born she would have been born with a silver spoon in her mouth and life would have been very different from the one she had, but she doesn't dwell on the past and embraces her future, now where is she and Stabler I've got a case." Cragen explained.

"Olivia stalked off earlier and I think Stabler's gone to find her, we'll take it Cap." Fin said getting to his feet.

"Oh and Munch, don't let Olivia hear you say any of those things, she's in a state of uncertainty as it is, the only thing I know for sure is that she certainly loves Ellis and I don't want her to run off because of something you said." Cragen replied handing him the slip with the information on their victim.

* * *

Olivia stood looking out towards her apartment, life had certainly changed in the past few months. Every time she moved her ring caught the sun and sparkled almost unnaturally.

Life had certainly changed. Everything she'd believed in her whole life had changed, she had a father now and the whole thing about never finding love had changed because she knew she loved Bayard Ellis more than life itself.

"Olivia?"

She sighed, she was mad with him at this moment and she didn't want to speak with him.

"I'm sorry Olivia, I shouldn't have asked if you loved him, I know you do." Elliot said walking over to her and standing beside her.

"I can see my apartment from here." She said changing the topic of conversation.

"Where?" Elliot asked.

Olivia pointed and Elliot followed her finger to the building she was talking about.

"Who'd have ever thought that I would end up living in a penthouse in the Upper East Side of Manhattan?" She asked.

"You deserve it Olivia. Don't question that." Elliot told her.

"I never wanted anything like it Elliot, I never wanted anything like this." She told him.

"I know, I know but now you have it and you deserve it." Elliot told her wrapping an arm around his best friend's shoulders.

"I'm in love with him Elliot." She whispered. "Head over heels in love with him and its scaring the shit out of me."

"I'm sure it is, when I fell in love with Kathy it was scary, then she fell pregnant and it was even scarier." Elliot said and Olivia pulled away from him and wiped the tear that had escaped from her eyes.

"Olivia?" He asked softly, he hated not knowing what was wrong with her, he loved her like he loved his own kids.

"Do babies change things Elliot?" Olivia asked.

"What do you mean?" He asked confused.

"When you had Maureen, did that change your relationship with Kathy?" She explained.

"Of course it did, we went from being husband and wife to Mom and Dad." Elliot replied honestly.

"I don't know if I want anything to change." She whispered. "I like things just the way they are."

"Olivia?" Elliot said turning her face gently to make her look at him. "Are you… Are you pregnant?"

"I don't know." She replied with a shrug. "I think so but I don't know."

"You need to take a test, go and see a doctor, just to be sure there's nothing else wrong if you're not." Elliot told her.

"I'm not going to make a good Mom El, look at the example I had, I don't want to screw another kid's life up." She explained.

"Hey Olivia Benson, you are an amazing woman, you're empathetic, you're kind, you're caring, you have a heart of gold with so much love in there to give, any kid you ever have is going to be truly loved by you." Elliot said firmly, he happened to have imagined this conversation many times before, he knew someday she'd be blessed enough to get pregnant and he knew her fears of motherhood.

"Love isn't always enough to El, I don't doubt that my Mom loved me, when she was sober which I might add was few and far between but when she was she told me she loved me and I do believe that, especially now I know I wasn't a product of her rape, but love isn't enough, she still screwed up my life." She explained.

"Just in a way I've screwed up Maureen, Kathleen and the twins. Our kids will never be perfect, no matter how many times you become a parent it's always a case of trial and error and you will make mistakes but your kid won't hold it against you." Elliot said softly. "But if there's one thing I'm certain of is you're going to make a great Mother someday to some very lucky baby who is going to know love and understanding."

"Thank you." Olivia whispered with tears in her eyes allowing Elliot to pull her into a comforting embrace. "You know…" She said as her tears calmed. "You could be giving me this speech and I might not even be pregnant."

"Then I'll wait till next time and give it to you again." Elliot smirked.

* * *

Later that evening on her way home Olivia stopped by the pharmacy and bought three home testing kits.

'Better safe than sorry'. She thought to herself even though she was almost one hundred percent certain that she was pregnant, missing two periods was quite the giveaway.

When she arrived home she found Bayard in the study looking over some papers for a case. She slipped her arms around his shoulders and decided now to be the right time to tell him so that they could do the tests together.

"B…" She started.

"What is it Liv?" He asked swinging his chair around so that he could pull her onto his lap.

"Have you ever … have you ever thought about having kids?" She asked deciding to find out if he wanted kids before telling him.

"Why?" He asked as he stroked his hands along her arm.

"It's a simple question B, do you want kids?" She replied trying not to be angry.

"I do, if you do then I do but if you don't then I guess I could live without having kids." He replied.

"So you do want kids?" She asked hopeful.

"Yes, I've always wanted to have children but if that's not something you want then we don't have to." He told her.

"Bayard, the reason I'm asking is … I think… maybe I might be …" She couldn't get the words out.

"Are you pregnant Olivia?" He asked seriously.

"I don't know for sure." She replied. "But I bought some home testing kits on the way home and thought maybe we could do them together." She explained.

"Olivia." He smiled. "Do you want kids?"

"I've always wanted kids. I just never thought I'd get the chance." She explained softly.

"Well dinner's in the oven, you wanna wait to do the test or you wanna do them now?" Bayard asked.

"Let's do it now." She said nervously. "Just … just in case I'm wrong, don't get your hopes up."

"Ok." He nodded before pressing his lips to hers. "And if it's something we both want and the tests are negative then it gives us more of an excuse to practise." He teased making her laugh.

"Wait in the living room while I go to the bathroom." Olivia told him.

Minutes later they were sat cuddled up on the couch with the three tests on the coffee table just processing the results.

"What do you want a girl or a boy?" Olivia asked as Bayard ran his hands through her hair.

"I don't care as long as it's healthy." He replied honestly.

"But if you could choose?" Olivia continued needing something to distract her from the nerves.

"A girl." He replied. "With her Mommy's eyes."

"You know how to make a woman smile B." She grinned.

"Hey if we have a baby you know it will be mixed race." He pointed out.

"There's nothing wrong with that, is there?"

"No, of course not, I just wonder how dark he or she would be and if she or he would have the afro." He laughed.

"That's too cute!" Olivia smiled imagining a mixed race toddler with uncontrollable hair.

The alarm on Bayard's watch signalled that five minutes had passed and Olivia jumped upright and gripped tight to Bayard's hand.

"Ready?" He asked softly.

"Ready than I'll ever be." She replied in a mix of nervousness and excitement.

"Do you want to look first or should I?" He asked.

"We'll grab one each together." Olivia replied and they both grabbed one stick each leaving one in the middle.

They both turned them over in unison and a smile spread over both of their faces.

"Positive." They both said with wide grins.

"Last one, you look." Olivia said and she closed her eyes as Bayard reached for the stick.

"Looks like we're having a baby Liv!" He grinned pulling her into his arms and dropping his lips onto hers.

"Oh my God." She laughed, the truth was as scared as she was, she couldn't have been happier.

"I'm gonna be a Daddy." He laughed as he held Olivia tight.

"Babe… dinner, I'm starving and there's two of us to feed now." She teased deciding they could continue to talk over dinner.

While Bayard put the chicken casserole onto plates Olivia went to make them a drink, wine for Bayard and apple juice for her. The knock on the door had them both groaning.

Olivia went to open it while Bayard took the food to the table, neither of them were going to let anything ruin tonight.

"El? El what's wrong?" She could see that her partner had been crying.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know where else to go." He sniffed.

"Come in… B! Make another plate!" She called knowing her fiancé always made enough to be frozen for when one of them were stuck in work and the other was hungry.

"Shit, If you're eating I'll go…"

"No El, come have some food with us and then when Bayard goes to finish working in the study you and I can talk." Olivia said firmly, she knew if Elliot had come here looking the way he did he needed his best friend and there was no way Olivia could turn him away.

The first thing Elliot spotted when he gave Olivia his coat was the pregnancy tests on the coffee table, he'd done them enough times with Kathy to know what they were.

"You know?" He asked nodding his head towards the table.

Olivia turned to look and cursed herself for not putting them away.

"Yeah." She nodded and a small smile played on her lips.

"Congratulations." Elliot said pulling his friend into a fierce hug momentarily forgetting his own problems.

"Thank you." Olivia smiled before showing him through to the dining room where a third place had been set up.

"So Olivia told you our news?" Bayard asked as soon as they started eating.

"Yeah congratulations man." Elliot replied as Bayard grinned happily.

"Thank you." He said.

"We have to decide what to do about the wedding B." Olivia pointed out.

"What do you mean?" He asked.

"Well we said six month engagement, I don't know how far along I am but I don't want to walk down the aisle looking like a beached whale." Olivia chuckled.

"Then let's not wait." Bayard replied.

"You mean move it forward and not back?" Olivia asked in shock.

"Yeah, can you get a wedding ready in a month?" He smiled.

"You're serious." She pointed out.

"Why wouldn't I be?" He asked scared that he was pushing her to fast.

"Well ok, I'll look around at venues this week, any ideas?" Olivia asked.

"Nope." He shrugged. "I thought all that was up to the bride."

"I'll go with that." Olivia laughed. "But then we need to decide on bridesmaids, groomsmen you need to choose your best man…"

"I already have done." Bayard replied.

"Who?" Olivia asked frowning, it was a sudden decision.

"Well that all depends on who walks you down the aisle." Bayard replied.

Elliot forgot his problems for a while, he was enjoying listening to Olivia and Bayard talk about their wedding, he'd never quite experienced anything like it.

"What do you mean? My Dad of course … oh right." Olivia bit her bottom lip and nodded.

"What is it Liv?" Elliot asked sensing his friend's discomfort.

"I always said if I got married Don would be the man I asked to give me away." Olivia explained.

"It's your choice Olivia, which ever man you choose, the other man will be my best man." Bayard explained softly.

"My Dad will walk me down the aisle B, it's ever girl's dream, even mine till my Mom told me what my Dad was but now I know the truth I can have that." Olivia replied honestly, she knew it would be different had he not been back in her life.

"Then I'm going to ask Don Cragen to be my best man." Bayard replied grinning.

"What about your groomsmen?" Olivia continued as they ate, if this was going to be planned in a month they needed to make decisions.

"Elliot you'll be one?" He asked turning to his fiancé's best friend.

"I'd be honoured." Elliot replied.

"You think John and Odafin will too?" He asked Olivia and Elliot.

"Yeah." They both replied.

"And Simon?" Bayard asked.

"I'm sure he will." Olivia grinned.

"Then all you need to do is let me ask them and ask your bridesmaids." Bayard replied.

"That's easy Melinda and Casey." Olivia smiled, she wouldn't have it any other way.

"Guests will be the people we both work with and then that is sorted." Bayard smiled happily, this was easier than he thought.

"One less thing to worry about." Olivia replied, this was really happening and she couldn't be happier.

* * *

After dinner Bayard retreated to the study and Olivia and Elliot went to sit in the living room.

"You have quite the view." Elliot said as they sat on either end of the couch looking out over Manhattan's skyline.

"Yeah." Olivia nodded knowing Elliot was trying to avoid talking about what had him rushing over to her place. "Wanna tell me what's up now?" Olivia asked seeing him fumble with the beer bottle in his hand.

"I thought that we might end up working late tonight, so I told Kathy not to expect me home for dinner. I knew the kids all had plans and when Cragen let us off early I thought I'd surprise her you know…" Elliot sighed as his eyes filled with tears. "I found her in bed with another man." He sobbed.

Olivia pulled him into her and held onto him tight. She knew Elliot loved his wife and his family, and she knew his heart was breaking at the thought that she'd been sleeping with another man.

"I'm so sorry El." She whispered as she ran her hand through his hair trying to comfort the broken man she was holding onto.

"Sorry if I spoiled your evening." He hiccupped.

"Don't be daft, you didn't spoil anything and I'm glad you felt like you could come to me with this." She replied, they were known for being the best team but it was because they kept their personal lives personal.

"I can't believe she would do this, I know I haven't been there much for her and the kids but I thought we loved each other." He cried. "I can never go back there now, it's over between me and her."

"You're welcome to stay here for as long as you need, the guest room is ready and I'm sure you could borrow some of B's clothes until you can get some of your own stuff." Olivia told him.

"Thanks Liv." He whispered. "I love you so much as a friend you know that right?"

"I love you as a friend too Elliot." She replied meaning ever word. "You made the last few years bearable and stuck by me through some crap too."

"I've only got a job because of you." Elliot laughed as he pulled out of her embrace.

"That's true but I'm sure the same applies to me." She joked making him laugh some more.

Then they fell quite, lost in their own thoughts, Olivia of supporting her best friend, planning her wedding and having to tell everyone she was pregnant, Elliot of telling his children that he'd caught his wife in bed with another man.

"Would you … tomorrow … if you don't have any plans…"

"Spit it out El." She teased.

"Would you mind coming with me to the house to get some stuff, the sooner I make it clear I'm leaving the better." He explained.

"Of course and you can bring them all here too, you can stay here for as long as you need El." Olivia told him firmly.

"Bayard won't mind?" He asked.

"Not at all, he didn't ask you to be one of his groomsmen for the sake of it, I could tell he'd already planned on asking before we decided to move the wedding up." Olivia smiled. "He cares about everyone at the one six like his family from my side you know."

"I know." Elliot nodded. "Thanks again Olivia, for everything."

"No problem." Olivia smiled. "Now it's time for me to get my beauty rest, help yourself to anything but I'll show you the guest room and ask Bayard to find you something to sleep in and wear tomorrow now."

**What did you think?**


	19. Chapter 19

**Yeah so I'm still shocked at how many people are loving this paring, I'm so pleased because since David left and before he came into the show I was rooting for Bayard and Olivia to get together or how me and ToriRenee161 call them BOLIVIA let's get it going peeps!**

The next morning Olivia was woken up yet again by Bayard trailing kisses down her abdomen.

"B…" She moaned, loving waking up aroused for the man she was going to marry, the man who had fathered their child.

"Morning beautiful." He teased as he slipped a finger across her slit, he knew she always slept in his shirt if they had sex the night before which meant she'd not be wearing underwear.

"Morning." She moaned deeply, he sent shivers up her spine.

He slipped his finger inside her making her arch her back off the bed and moan loudly.

"Shh, we've got guests." He reminded her as he pushed her hip down to the bed with his free hand.

She just moaned in reply as he began working her slowly.

"B…" She moaned as she ached for him to be harder and faster with her.

"What?" He asked teasingly, he knew she hated it when he was slow, she wasn't the most patient of people.

"I want you." She groaned.

"You've got me." He smiled slipping his finger out of her and climbing on top of her.

"I love you." She whispered wrapping her hands around his neck.

"I love you too and our baby." He grinned before slipping his erection into her making her gasp and moan loudly completely forgetting the guest in the next bedroom.

* * *

When Olivia finally left the bedroom she found Elliot in the kitchen making coffee. She was wearing Bayard's shirt still but with her pyjama bottoms pulled on too.

"Good Morning?" He asked making a blush creep up Olivia's cheeks.

"Morning." She replied trying to hide the face his had been a question. "Still want to go and get your stuff today?" She asked as she grabbed the pancake mix from the cupboard.

"Only if you don't mind… I mean if you have plans…"

"Elliot I don't, Bayard has a big case starting on Monday and so he has to go into the office for a few hours after breakfast so we can go after we're showered and dressed, I'll even take the Ferrari." She teased.

"Can I drive?" He asked raising his eyebrows knowing the answer before it came.

"I don't think so." She laughed just as Bayard came to join them.

"Coffee?" Elliot asked as he poured one for himself and Olivia.

"Yeah thanks, Princess let me do that, I'm hungry and last time you made pancakes you burnt them." Bayard teased.

"Fine." She replied childlike, before taking her seat at the breakfast bar with Elliot.

"What do you like in your pancakes Elliot?" Bayard asked as he put the pan on the heat.

"Chocolate Chip." Olivia replied for him making him smile.

"You two have been friends too long." Bayard laughed. "Other than Olivia I have no idea what anyone else likes in their pancakes."

"Blueberry and chocolate chip." Elliot said making Bayard laugh, Olivia loved the combination in her pancakes.

* * *

After breakfast was eaten and everyone was washed and dressed Bayard left for the office and Elliot and Olivia headed for Queens.

When they pulled up outside the house Olivia could see that Elliot was nervous the way he flexed his hands across his thighs.

"Ok?" She asked him.

"Yeah let's do this." He replied climbing out of the car.

Olivia followed him and he held the door open for him to follow him into the house.

They found Kathy and the twins in the kitchen eating breakfast.

"Daddy! Liv!" They both squealed rushing over to greet them.

"So that's where you went last night huh?" Kathy snapped.

"Yeah, wouldn't have if I hadn't caught you with your legs around another man!" Elliot lost it.

"Liv?" Lizzie asked looking up at Olivia.

"Why don't we go for a drive while your parents talk?" Olivia suggested knowing that the fifteen year olds didn't need to hear any of the argument.

"Ok." They both replied.

Olivia hurried them outside and allowed the kids time to admire the car while they ignored the yelling coming from inside the house.

"Cool, you drive a Ferrari!" Dickie grinned.

"Yeah, how about we jump in and put the top down? It's a nice enough day!" Olivia smiled as the kids got excited.

They drove for a while around Queens and Olivia pulled up outside an ice cream parlour before sending a text to Elliot.

_TO: El_

_Message: Kids with me, they have loads of questions main one being can they come too they don't want to be with Kath if she cheated on you, taking them for ice cream, let me know what's happening. Liv x_

Once the text was sent she took the kids into the parlour and allowed them to order whatever they wanted and sat inside to eat.

"Was Daddy telling the truth?" Lizzie asked.

"Yeah did he see Mom having sex with another man?" Dickie asked.

Olivia sighed, she wasn't the one who should be answering these questions.

"That's what he said when he came to my place last night." Olivia replied neither confirming nor denying what he said he'd seen.

"I can't believe that whore…"

"Language!" Olivia snapped. "I don't want to hear you speak about your Mom like that, no matter what she's done she is still your mother." Olivia said firmly.

"Sorry Liv." Dickie pouted.

"But why would she do something like that? I thought she loved Dad!" Lizzie replied the frustration on her face showing in the same way it did on Elliot's.

"I don't know Lizzie that's something you have to ask her." Olivia replied softly.

"I can't go back there, I hate her!" Dickie snapped.

"You don't hate her Dickie, she's your Mom." Olivia pointed out.

"I do! I can't believe she'd tear up our family! She's so selfish!" Lizzie chirped.

"Now that's enough guys…" Olivia said reaching for her ringing phone.

"Benson."

_What do I do about the kids Liv?_ Elliot's hiccups came through the phone.

"Pack them some clothes you're all coming back to mine, there's enough room for the twins and the girls when they want to come over…"

_I can't let you do this…_

"You can and you will Elliot, just grab the kids some stuff." Olivia replied.

_Thanks Liv…_

"Don't mention it, we'll be back in a bit." Olivia hung up the phone to see two grinning faces.

"Are you sure we can come stay with you?" Lizzie asked.

"Of course I am but I have to phone Bayard and let him know just so he doesn't get surprised." Olivia smiled knocking the speed dial on her phone while Lizzie and Dickie silently asked each other who Bayard was, Olivia had been keeping away from the family since she'd been with Bayard as Kathy had always been sure there was more than friendship between herself and Elliot and his family had no idea how much Olivia' life had changed.

"Hey B, listen sorry to bother you at work but uh, things didn't go as planned so we got two more guests until Elliot can get sorted ok?"

_Sure no problem Liv, I've not got much left to do here so how does pizza sound? I'll pick it up on my way home_.

"Pizza sounds great bring enough for five." Olivia smiled.

_Text me what everyone wants and I'll put in the order before I leave._

"Sure thing."

_I love you._

Olivia glanced at the kids knowing they were watching intently.

"Love you too, bye." She said before hanging up.

"So that's your boyfriend?" Lizzie asked innocently.

"My fiancé." Olivia replied with a wide grin as Lizzie's eyes darted to her ring.

"Oh my God that rock is huge!" Lizzie gasped pulling Olivia's hand into her own.

"You're getting married Olivia?" Dickie said with just a hint of disappointment in his eyes.

"Yeah." Olivia replied deciding not to say anything about the baby yet. "Now if you're both done, why don't we head on back see how your Dad's doing?"

* * *

After going back to meet Elliot Olivia and Lizzie took the Ferrari while Dickie drove with his father back to the apartment.

"Where are we going?" Lizzie asked not recognising the route.

"My place." Olivia replied.

"I thought you lived in Alphabet City." Lizzie frowned, so many things had changed in Olivia's life.

"My Dad bought me a new apartment after mine was broke into." Olivia said deciding to float around the details.

"Your Dad?" Lizzie asked, she didn't know the details of Olivia's childhood or past but she had always known Olivia didn't have any family.

"Yeah, see Lizzie I found out that my Dad was in Witness Protection when my Mom was pregnant on me, he not long managed to get out and I found him back in my life." Olivia replied.

"So he bought you the car?" Lizzie asked.

"Yeah." Olivia nodded with a smile. "I think he'd trying to make up for the lost years."

They pulled into the parking lot and Lizzie helped grab some of the things that Olivia had put in her trunk while Elliot pulled into another bay.

"Olivia you shouldn't be carrying that." He frowned taking the box from her.

"Why not?" Lizzie asked with a frown of her own to match her fathers.

Elliot glanced nervously at Olivia.

"Because I hurt my shoulder the other day in work. It's ok El I've got it." Olivia replied knowing that she would have to tell the kids sooner rather than later.

Once in the apartment Olivia showed the twins to their room and then they were allowed to go and admire the rest of the apartment.

"Olivia this place is huge!" Dickie commented as Elliot emerged from the room he was occupying.

"I know." Olivia replied just as her cell began to ring.

"Benson." She answered while Elliot quietened the kids down so she could hear.

_Hey Baby Doll._

"Hey Dad." She smiled before stalking off to the kitchen.

_So I was thinking maybe we could do dinner tonight?_

"Uh I actually have some house guests and we're doing Pizza tonight, why don't you come over?" Olivia suggested, it would be nice for her to spend some time with her Dad.

_Well I'm kinda with Simon…_

"Bring him too." Olivia said quickly. "And Don."

_Goodness Baby Doll are you having a party?_

"No I just …" Olivia didn't want to tell him her news over the phone. "I just want to spend time with my family."

_Ok we'll be over what time?_

"Seven."

_See you at seven then. Love you._

"Yeah Love you too." She smiled before hanging up.

Elliot smiled when he saw her making drinks after dropping her phone on the counter.

"What was that about?" Elliot asked as she made them both coffee.

"My Dad, Simon and Don are joining us tonight." She explained shrugging.

"Awkward." Elliot replied.

"What for me?" She asked.

"No for me, it's complicated enough that I've just split with my wife and have to stay with my best friend Liv, but I'm so grateful so don't get me wrong." Elliot smiled.

"Dad called me asking if I'd go out for dinner, told him I had some friends over so invited him to join us then he said he was with Simon and said they both should and then I thought I could tell them that we're moving the wedding up and about the baby so told them to bring Don along, if need me just say you're here because I asked you to be." Olivia replied understanding his dilemma.

"I still can't believe you're having a kid."

"What? Is it really that hard to believe?" Olivia asked in mock shock.

"No." He replied. "No I knew this day would come someday." Elliot grinned.

* * *

That evening everyone was sat around the dining room table in Olivia's apartment eating pizza. Olivia had already made it suspicious by having Pepsi instead of wine with her food like the rest of the adults but if they had thought it they were yet to say anything.

"So…" Olivia said getting to her feet and holding Bayard's hand tight. "Uh well I thought I should tell you or we thought rather…" She looked at Bayard who was grinning happily at her. "We thought we should tell you that we've decided to move the wedding and get married in a month and I know that's much sooner than we originally planned but … the reason is I'd like to actually fit into my wedding dress." Olivia smiled realisation didn't dawn on any of their faces.

"I'm pregnant." She told them and that's when everyone reacted.

Simon grinned, Don was speechless and Oliver stood up and walked round to Olivia. Lizzie squealed and Dickie looked disheartened because he fancied Olivia himself.

"I'm going to be a granddad?" He asked.

"Yeah." Olivia nodded. "I haven't seen a doc yet but three home kits say you are."

"Congratulations." Oliver smiled turning to embrace Bayard while Don and Simon came round to embrace them too.

**What did you think?**


	20. Chapter 20

**Whooohooo BOLIVIA is catching on, let's keep it going. When I finish this and a couple of other fics as well as a sequel I have a completely NEW BOLIVIA fic idea I'm hoping to work on so, hip hip hooray for all the BOLIVIA Shippers out there!**

Olivia did not expect her phone to ring at three in the morning. She groaned and leaned over Bayard who was now used to not opening his eyes when the chorus of Lindsey Lohan singing 'Bossy' echoed around their bedroom, the ring tone Olivia had set for Cragen because apparently 'the lyrics suited him to a tee.'

"Benson." She groaned as she lay on Bayard's chest.

_Rise and shine princess we've got a case._

"Yeah yeah text the address." She groaned.

_And as Elliot's there you can enjoy the pleasure of waking him up too._

"Cap the kids…"

"I'll be here." Bayard interrupted.

"Hold on Don … B you've got court…" Olivia replied to both men.

"Not till ten and I can take the kids to school for Stabler then go to court, it isn't a problem." Bayard replied thinking of Olivia's dislike for working with anyone else.

"I love you." She smiled leaning in and dropping a kiss on his lips.

_Olivia!_ Cragen's yell echoed through the phone making Olivia flinch.

"I'll wake him up." Olivia replied before hanging up and kissing Bayard once again before climbing out of bed to wake Elliot up.

* * *

It took fifteen minutes for Olivia to explain to Elliot that Bayard would deal with the kids before she could go back to the bedroom to dress.

"Hey Princess how long are you going to be out in the field for?" Bayard asked from his position in the bed, he wouldn't be able to get back to sleep until Olivia had left.

"What do you mean?" She asked without removing her eyes from the drawer that she was digging through.

"Well you're pregnant now Olivia, you have to think about the baby too." Bayard replied shrugging.

"Bayard I'll be on the job till I can't do it anymore ok?" Olivia sighed before walking into the walk in closet.

"Yeah but the Baby…"

"Will be fine, I wouldn't do anything that would put the baby at risk B you know that." Olivia called back to him as she slipped on a pair of slacks.

"Not on purpose but your life is at risk every day in that job Olivia…"

"Bayard I'm not going to argue about this now ok?" She snapped.

"Fine whatever." Bayard replied knowing she was angry because she'd used his Christian name and not B.

"I'm going." She told him as she put her gun and shield on her belt.

"Fine." He said turning to his side so his back was to her.

No 'be safe', no 'I love you', she knew he was pissed.

"I love you." She said hoping he would turn back to kiss her.

"Love you too." He grumbled.

"Grow up." She spat before walking out the door to where Elliot was waiting. "Let's go, I want to stop for Coffee on the way." She told him before he could even ask what was wrong.

* * *

Olivia pulled the Ferrari in front of the crime scene tape, she hadn't said a word except for 'yeah' in answer to Elliot asking if she wanted her usual coffee.

They walked over to the office minding the tape and flashed their shields in the process putting them in plain view, Olivia clipping it onto her jacket and Elliot putting it on a chain around his neck.

"What have we got?" Olivia asked her superior who was stood at the bottom of a set of steps into the apartment complex.

"That." Cragen said pointing up to the ceiling where a person was visibly standing on the edge.

"What happened?" Elliot asked.

"Seventeen year old Jasmine Hook, says she was in the process of being raped as he reached his climax she managed to grab hold of the gun and she shot him with it, then someone called for us on hearing the gun shot and when she heard the sirens she panicked and ran up there." Cragen explained as they went towards the elevator.

"So why are we needed?" Olivia frowned and Cragen could see she was in a foul mood.

"Because Detective we thought you and Stabler might be able to get her down, half a dozen have already tried including myself and when I told her about you Benson she seemed to agree that maybe she could talk to you about what happened, that is why I called you." Cragen snapped, he wanted her to get her attitude in check before she went anywhere near a traumatised teenager who was threatening to jump off a roof. "Think you can handle it" He asked them as they took the last few steps to the roof.

"I've handled worse." She replied softly showing whatever had bothered her had been pushed to the back of her mind.

"Ok Liv, do your stuff." Cragen said before joining the negotiator who'd been talking to her.

"Jasmine, this is Detective Benson I told you about, she's going to talk to you ok?" Cragen said softly as Olivia took a slight step towards her.

"Don't come any closer!" She screamed shaking slightly on the ledge.

"Ok, ok I won't." Olivia said holding her hands up and taking a step back. "Hi Jasmine, I'm Olivia and you and I are going to talk ok?"

"Tell them to go away." She signalled to the men behind her.

"I can do that." She said softly before turning to the men. "Go now." She mouthed firmly.

"Behind the door." Cragen mouthed back before they left and she knew they would just be behind the door.

"Ok they're gone, can you come down now and talk to me?" Olivia asked taking a tiny step forward.

"No! Don't come closer or I'll jump!" She screamed.

"Ok I'll stay back, can you tell me what happened?" Olivia asked gently her hands still up hoping somehow it would calm Jasmine down.

"I was in my bedroom, painting my toe nails when he climbed in through my open window, the fumed from the nail polish always makes my nose run and so I always do them with the window open, he must have climbed up the fire escape and climbed in." Jasmine explained shakily.

"Then what happened?" Olivia asked.

"I screamed and he pointed the gun at me and I closed my eyes praying that he wasn't going to shoot me. He told me to lay down on the bed so I did and he climbed on top of me, he tore my panties off and I was just wearing this night gown and that's when … that's when he raped me… he was grunting and saying that I felt good and tight and then … then he was having his orgasm and his head flew back and I grabbed the gun from his hand and I just shot … I shot him and he fell onto me and I couldn't move I didn't know what to do and then I heard the sirens and I thought I'm going to jail now, I killed a man I don't wanna live!" She sobbed. "I'm better off dead!"

"No! No Jasmine, you're not going to jail it was self-defence I'm sure the DA will cut you a deal!" Olivia replied hoping to God she could help the girl down from the ledge soon.

"No! I deserve to die I killed someone!" She hiccupped.

"You killed someone who was hurting you. Someone who took something from you that they had no right to take." Olivia replied desperately.

"My Mom was raped! Like mother like daughter right?" She snapped.

Olivia's heart missed a beat, she knew how this girl was feeling even if she'd found out her Dad wasn't really a rapist, she'd been in the situation where she thought she had no right to live because of the pain she thought she inflicted on her mother.

"My Mom was raped and had me and now I was raped, it's all my fault!" She sobbed.

"No Jasmine." Olivia replied shaking her head and trying to hold back the tears that had filled her eyes.

"You have no idea! No idea how I feel! I deserve this!" Jasmine screeched.

"I do! Jasmine I do know how you feel believe me I do but this isn't the answer!" Olivia called sensing that Jasmine was reaching a point where she was about to jump.

"How? How can you know what it feels like?" She screamed.

"Because growing up I was told my Dad raped my Mom." Olivia replied. "I know what it's like to think half your DNA is violent and cruel and it took a very special friend to point out to me that I was nothing like him and that DNA wasn't everything."

Behind the door Elliot and Don were looking at each other, listening intently to the conversation going on outside, listening to Olivia release some feelings she'd harboured inside of her for years that no one would have ever been allowed into.

"Your Mom … how was she afterwards? Did she look at you like she hated your mere existence?" Jasmine asked calming down a little.

"All the time, she was a drunk and she hated me." Olivia replied as her tears slipped down her cheeks, it was hard to say all this knowing that her father was actually a very loving man who had no choice but to leave his family.

"She ever tell you she loved you?" Jasmine asked.

"Never." Olivia replied.

"My Mom said she hated me, she was an alcoholic too, a violent one." Jasmine hiccupped.

"As was mine, we have a lot in common Jasmine. You know once, my Mom came at me with a broken bottle, she was drunk and I kicked her, I kicked her hard and I remember seeing her fly across the room and it was the first time I ever hit her back and I still feel guilty for it, but had I not done it then she'd have killed me that night." Olivia told her taking a few steps closer to the ledge.

"I hit my Mom back a few times." Jasmine said sitting down on the side of the ledge her legs over onto the roof. "I had too."

"I know." Olivia nodded wiping her eyes.

"I can't live with it anymore." Jasmine cried grabbing on Olivia's shoulders.

"It's hard, but you can get help." Olivia whispered thinking she'd finally gotten through to the girl.

"No, no amount of therapy in the world is going to change this." She said.

It was like it was happening in slow motion. Jasmine threw herself back still holding onto Olivia.

"No!" Olivia screamed feeling herself going over the wall with Jasmine but with her feet half on the floor half against the wall and her hands pushing against the wall she managed to stay on the roof but Jasmine didn't. Jasmine plummeted and Olivia heard the crash.

"No!" She cried as Don and Elliot rushed over to her. "No." She cried dropping her head into her hands.

"You did all you could Olivia." Don whispered as the hostage negotiator wrapped a blanket around her shaking shoulders, the combination of adrenaline and fear coercing through her body making her tremble almost violently.

* * *

Back at the station house Olivia sat at her desk with her head in her hands, she was blaming herself for the death of Jasmine Hook and she couldn't stop trembling, the adrenaline wearing off and the realisation of what had happened really coming to light. She could have been pulled over that roof, she could have died.

"Olivia?" Elliot asked sitting on the edge of her desk.

"What do you want Elliot?" She asked still willing herself not to break in front of her co-workers.

"IAB are in Cragen's office, they need your statement." He told her gently.

"Of course they do." She sighed getting to her feet and walking over to the office.

She walked in and shut the door behind her.

"Detective Benson."

"Lieutenant Tucker." She replied.

"We need your formal statement on the events of this morning." He told her.

"I know that, should we get on with it?" She asked.

"Of course. Captain could we have a room?" He turned to Cragen.

"Interrogation one is free." Cragen told him and the three of them walked out.

Olivia sat down in the chair normally reserved for perps, it wobbled to make them uncomfortable and she wondered how some perps could sit in it for hours still proclaiming their innocence especially when they were guilty.

"You know you can have a lawyer or union rep present?" Tucker asked her.

"I don't want one." Olivia replied.

"Ok." Tucker knocked the record button on and gave the formal statement of the date time and location.

"Please state your name for the record."

"Detective Olivia Benson." She replied as if she was in a court room, trying to keep professional yet the walls she normally had when IAB were around were damaged as was her psyche, she just wanted to go home and cry.

"Detective Benson, could you please give the details of the events leading up to the death of Jasmine Hook." Tucker asked.

"I was called in to talk to rape victim Jasmine Hook, she gave me the details of what happened leading up to her running to the roof and then I began trying to talk her down." Olivia explained. "As we created a bond she allowed me to walk closer to her, she sat down from the ledge, her feet on the side of the roof and then she grabbed my shoulders and threw herself backwards."

"So she tried to take you with her?" Tucker asked.

"Yeah." Olivia nodded.

"Can you please tell me the nature of your conversation before she threw herself?" Tucker asked.

"She told me about her Mother being a rape victim." Olivia replied. "She talked about her feelings surrounding that."

"So you used personal feelings to try and talk her down?" Tucker asked.

"I did." Olivia replied with a sigh. "Most people in those situations, they connect with people in the rarest of ways, she told me I had no idea how she felt and I told her that I did."

"So you lied to her?" Tucker asked.

"No I did not." Olivia replied firmly.

"But you're not a product of your Mother's rape."

"I thought I was up until seven months ago, just because the situation has changed it doesn't mean the feelings I used to have concerning my Mom's apparent rape disappear, I grew up thinking I was a product of her rape and everything that young girl was feeling up on the roof I have felt them too in the past!" Olivia snapped.

"Is there any way you told her that there was no way out…"

"No."

"…That suicide was the only option and she felt sorry for you that's why she tried to take you with her?"

"No." Olivia replied firmer. "I told her she could get help and she said years of therapy wouldn't get away those feelings."

"What was your reply? Did you tell her she was right, maybe she thought because you knew how she felt that there was no other outlet?"

"No you're wrong." Olivia replied shaking her head softly. "I didn't get the chance to reply because that's when she grabbed me and tried to pull me off the roof." Olivia hissed through gritted teeth.

"For now I have no more questions." Tucker replied switching off the tape. "You're on thin ice Detective, if I find out you did anything… anything at all that caused that girl to think the only option she had was suicide I will have your shield…"

"Ok I think that's enough." Cragen said coming into the interrogation room.

Tucker gave Olivia one last glare before he grabbed his Dictaphone and left. Olivia let out a breath she hadn't been aware of holding and dropped her head into her hands.

"Liv?" Cragen asked softly.

"I'm ok." She said dropping her hands and getting to her feet.

"I'm calling in Huang, I think you need to talk to someone about this." Cragen said dropping his hand onto her shoulder.

"Cap… would it be alright … can I… is it ok if I take the day?" She asked shakily.

Cragen knew this was bothering her just from that one question.

"Talk to Huang first?" He asked.

"I'll talk to him tomorrow, right now I just want to go home, see Bayard before he goes to court and get some sleep." She replied.

"Ok, just call me if you need me Liv ok?" Don said softly as she began walking off.

"You know I will." She lied, there was a small list of people she would call before Don Cragen.

* * *

She arrived home and as soon as the door closed the floodgates open. It was only gone seven and she had completely forgotten that Lizzie and Dickie were there. Both of them heard the door and rushed through to see an inconsolable Olivia.

"Liv." Lizzie said taking hold of the woman's trembling body and taking her to the living room. "Dick go make a coffee will you?" Lizzie said softly. "And get Bayard."

Dickie nodded, seeing Olivia upset really got to him, he'd always seen her as a strong and independent woman.

"Olivia what happened?" Lizzie asked sitting beside her.

Olivia said nothing and pulled Lizzie into an embrace that the fifteen year old quickly returned.

"You're ok Olivia… is it Dad?"

Olivia just shook her head and took a deep breath she didn't want to be crying in front of the kids.

Bayard rushed into the living room as soon as Dickie told him Olivia was there and was crying. He pulled her into his arms and told Lizzie to go and help her brother with the coffee and then finish getting ready for school.

"Princess what happened?" He asked her as soon as she started to calm down.

"A seventeen year old's dead and it's all my fault." She hiccupped.

"I find that hard to believe, what happened?" He asked softly.

"She threw herself of a roof." She whispered deciding after the argument that morning that it would be best not to tell him that the girl had tried to pull her with her.

"Oh come on Liv, it isn't your fault, you can't help them all." Bayard whispered as he ran his hand through her hair slowly calming her down.

Dickie brought in the coffee and Olivia pulled away from Bayard to hug the boy. At first he was surprised by the action, Olivia was very loving in her own way and hugging wasn't something she did often only with Lizzie.

"You're ok Olivia." Dickie said returning the embrace.

"You're definitely Elliot Stabler's son." Olivia laughed as she ran her hand through his hair, he was only three or four inches shorter than her these days.

"I know." He smirked the Stabler signature grin.

"Go on, go get ready for school." She told him giving his shoulder a little slap as he walked by making him blush, that woman was going to be the death of him, he thought.

"Are you sure you're ok Liv? I could ask someone else at the firm to take this case…"

"No B, you go to work, I am going to have a nice bath and then go catch up with some sleep." She told him before leaning in to kiss him.

"You know I love you right?" He asked her.

"I know." She replied. "I love you too B."

**What did you think?**


	21. Chapter 21

Olivia was in the kitchen preparing dinner when Elliot came home. He smiled and pulled her into a gentle friendly embrace, his way of letting her know that she was safe.

"Ok?" He asked when she pulled away.

"Yeah, just been a long day." She replied raising her eyebrows to say that she knew he understood.

"IAB questioned me and Cragen." Elliot told her as he took the chopping board and knife from her allowing her to move on to another part of the meal.

"And?" She asked her heart beating fast in panic.

"You got cleared." He smiled and her whole body instantly relaxed, she couldn't have been more relieved.

"Doesn't change what happened though." Olivia then said as the realisation dawned on her.

"What do you mean?" Elliot asked in surprise.

"Jasmine Hook is still dead and her rapist is still out there but because she gave no statement we can't go after him." Olivia explained.

"Actually Warner found semen inside her, we're going after him Olivia." Elliot smiled softly.

"Well I guess that's one thing." Olivia replied.

"So how come you took off today?" Elliot moved on.

"I needed some alone time to deal with it El, I ... she could have pulled me over that roof ... if her grip..." A sob broke out of Olivia and Elliot wrapped his arms around her and rubbed her back.

"Olivia." Elliot sighed, he really didn't know what to tell her in this situation.

"I'm ok." She replied pulling away and wiping her eyes. "I don't know why I'm so upset."

"You're pregnant, you're hormonal, and you had a near death experience..."

"A near death what?" Bayard gasped coming into the room.

"B..."

"Olivia what on earth is he going on about?" Bayard asked looking from Olivia to Elliot and back again expecting an answer.

"This is where I make my excuses..."

"Don't move Stabler!" Olivia snapped, he'd gotten her into this mess and he was going to help get her out of it.

"When did you have a near death experience Olivia?" Bayard asked grabbing her hand, needing an answer.

"This morning." She replied in a whisper.

"The case?" Bayard asked and Olivia nodded in reply. "With the seventeen year old who jumped?"

"Yes." Olivia snapped.

"Olivia what on earth happened up there?" He asked desperately.

"It doesn't matter B..."

"Of course it matters!" He yelled in frustration, Elliot getting ready to step in if it got too much.

"No it doesn't! If it did I'd tell you!" Olivia yelled back.

"Olivia if you nearly died I have the right to know!" Bayard snapped. "Do you not trust me?"

"Of course I do I just don't want to talk about it!" Olivia screeched.

"You could have died! What happened?"

"Enough Bayard! I am not discussing this right now!" She grabbed her car keys from the side.

"Where are you going?" He asked in frustration.

"Anywhere where you're not." She replied before grabbing her jacket and walking out.

"Stabler..."

"She should tell you herself." Elliot replied seeing his kids had come into the room.

"Elliot my fiancé, future wife had a near death experience and I need to know why! Can you imagine what's going through my head right now?" Bayard was visibly distraught.

"The girl who jumped had hold of Olivia's shoulders when she threw herself off the roof, if she'd have had a better grip Olivia would have gone with her." Elliot sighed, he hated betraying Olivia but the man had a right to know.

"She tried to pull Olivia with her?" He asked in complete shock.

"Yeah, Olivia's already blaming herself for what happened Bayard, she doesn't need to think about the fact both of their lives could have been taken, she feels guilty and I'm no psychiatrist but I wouldn't be surprised if she's questioning why she's still alive when Jasmine isn't." Elliot explained.

"Why didn't she tell me?" Bayard asked leaning on the counter with his head bowed to hide the tears threatening to spill.

"You'll have to ask her that man." Elliot replied giving Bayard's shoulder a squeeze. "I'll text her in a bit, find out where she is."

"Thanks Stabler." Bayard replied grateful to his soon to be wife's best friend.

* * *

Olivia pulled her car into park outside the apartment block. This had not been the first place she'd thought of going, or second but the more she thought about it the more this place seemed to be the right place to go.

She looked up and saw that the light was on and wondered what he'd think of her turning up at six in the evening when she had a fiancé at home as well as her best friend and two of his kids.

She contemplated turning around and going someplace else but then she realised she couldn't so slowly she exited the vehicle and made her way inside.

Arriving outside his apartment she wondered again if this was such a good idea. She wondered what his reaction would be at seeing her on his doorstep but then she knew he wouldn't mind.

Slowly she built up enough courage to knock on the door, hoping that he wouldn't have too much questions.

"Olivia?" He said in surprise.

"I-I'm sorry I-I didn't know where else to go." She whispered looking at the ground.

"Come inside, I'll make us both a coffee." He smiled gently, she looked a mess, her eyes were bloodshot and he knew she'd been crying.

She went through to the living room, she'd been here before so it wasn't like she felt uncomfortable and unsure of the place. Once the coffee was made they both sat on the couch and he pulled Olivia into an embrace guessing she'd need it.

"Why did you come here? What happened?" He asked softly.

"I'm sorry Don, I was going to go to Dad's or Simon's but I don't want to talk about what happened on the roof and you were there so you already know and ..."

"Liv you're rambling." He said as he pressed a finger to her lips to silence her.

"Sorry." She hiccupped before settling back into the couch and tracing around the circle of her mug with her finger.

"Why aren't you at home though?" He asked settling into the corner so he could look at her.

"Bayard overheard Elliot say something about near death experience and he freaked out." Olivia replied shakily. "We argued because I wouldn't tell him..." The tears filled her eyes.

"Oh Liv, why didn't you want to tell him?" Don asked softly as he leaned over to wipe away some stray tears.

"Because this morning we had an argument about me being out in the field and pregnant." Olivia hiccupped. "I didn't want to give him a reason to bring it up again."

"You know he's got a point..."

"No he doesn't!" Olivia snapped. "NYPD guidelines state that a pregnant officer can stay out in the field until six months pregnant and then desk duty till seven and a half taking the last six weeks as maternity."

"I know that, I had the joy of looking it up after you told me the news." Don replied with a gentle smile. "But in all fairness Olivia he's just worried about his future wife and unborn child, he has every right to be."

"I know that but I feel like he's trying to take some form of control over me or something Don, we hadn't even argued till this morning our relationship was ... prefect and now..."

"Now he's put a ring on your finger you're scared the relationship is changing too much, you feel like a possession." Don finished for her.

"When did you turn into George Huang?" Olivia asked with a weak laugh.

"I just know you well enough." Don replied with a smirk.

"I bet he's real pissed with me for walking out." Olivia sighed. "I just don't even want to see him right now."

"Then you can stay in the guest room here, just let him know where you are so that he isn't worrying himself sick." Don replied.

"Are you sure? I mean I could go to Dad's or Simon's..."

"Stop it Olivia, you're staying here and that's the end of it." Don snapped a little to show he wasn't listening to her argument.

"Thank you." She replied before reaching over and embracing him. "Thank you so much."


	22. Chapter 22

The next morning Olivia went straight into work after a brief text to Bayard saying that she loved him. She'd already called him, explained that she would tell him her side when she got home, he told her that Elliot had told him what happened and that he understood why she was shaken and didn't want to talk about it. That had made her feel a lot better and she told him that she would tell him her side when she was ready.

After throwing her coat over her chair and giving Elliot a smile she went up to see Huang, the more she'd thought about talking with him the more it seemed like the right thing to do but it didn't mean that it would make it any easier.

She met him in the lounge upstairs. A steaming coffee from Starbucks sat at the edge of the table for her.

"Thanks." She smiled taking it in her hand and leaning her back on the banister that looked out over the bullpen.

"I hear congratulations are in order." Huang smiled.

"Good news sure travels fast." She replied with her eyes rolling.

"In this place?" George replied jokingly.

"Yeah." Olivia shrugged, she didn't feel like laughing.

"So how far along are you?" He asked softly.

"Don't know... I haven't seen a Doctor yet." She explained weakly.

"Why not?" George replied a flicker of intrigue on his lightly tanned features that Olivia always noticed, the only emotion she could easily read from the psychiatrist.

"Time." She shrugged.

"You know Don would give you a couple of hours if not a day to go and see an OB Olivia." George replied.

"You're reading too much into this." Olivia replied sternly.

"I don't think so." George said shrugging.

"Ok enlighten me, tell me why you don't think I've seen a doc yet." Olivia said sighing, she knew the chances where his theory would be right, he knew her too well sometimes.

"I think you're scared and the fear is controlling your decisions, you're scared that once you see a doctor its final, it's in black and white and you can't pretend that it isn't there." Huang said as Olivia absentmindedly stroked her abdomen with one hand and sipped her coffee with the other.

"You don't know what you're talking about." Olivia replied even though his words hit like a thousand knives, of course she was scared, of motherhood, of a child being completely dependent on her for the next God knows how many years.

"Fine." He replied knowing that she was playing his words over in her mind now, he didn't need her to agree with him out loud. "So why don't we talk about what happened yesterday?"

"Fine." Olivia sighed, she really didn't want to.

"Tell me what you remember from your point of view." Huang said.

"I just remember talking with her and she was sitting down, her legs on the side of the roof and she grabbed my shoulders and then she threw herself back and she was gone." Olivia replied, the details she'd overplayed so much in her mind, she remembered what they were talking about vaguely, she didn't want to remember and had pushed the conversation to the back of her mind.

"Tell me the emotions you were feeling Olivia tell me what you were thinking at the time." Huang pushed.

"I thought I'd gotten through to her." Olivia whispered weakly. "When she sat down and let me walk towards her I thought she was going to let me wrap my arms around her and pull her to me and I was about too, if she'd hesitated a second ..." Tears sparkled in Olivia's eyes, the realisation hitting her how close she'd actually come to being a victim too.

"Don said you were talking about your Mom, how it was growing up believing your Dad was a rapist." Huang said softly.

"Yeah." Olivia nodded. "Even though I know now he isn't one the feelings I had growing up, they don't change so I tried to connect with her on that, tell her I knew what she felt and how hard it was and she still..." Olivia turned to the bullpen and looked out at her co-workers. "It's my fault she threw herself off that roof, I made her think it was the only way out and she thinking that I felt the same as her thought she'd end it for both of us." She explained without looking at him.

"It's not your fault Olivia, that young woman was mentally unstable, she'd grown up knowing she was a victim of her mother's rape and then was victimised and then to protect herself she had to kill him, you can't even begin to imagine what was going through her mind Liv." Huang said softly.

"I just keep thinking if I'd said something different or...I can't stop playing it over in my mind." She whispered turning back to him.

"Olivia, looking back and thinking 'what-if' isn't going to help you, you did what you could and you know that in this job you can't win them all. What did you do when you went home yesterday?" Huang continued knowing she would argue him if he didn't move the session on.

"I had a Jacuzzi bath, then had a nap and then started cooking dinner for everyone." Olivia replied not understanding the significance of the question.

"Why did you stay in Don's apartment last night?" Huang asked.

Olivia bit her bottom lip again, she didn't think he knew about her visit to her commanding officers the previous night.

"I-I-I don't know." She shrugged before turning back to look at the hustle and bustle of the bullpen.

Huang wasn't going to take that as an answer and slowly made his way to look out over it too. He stood beside her, both of them leaning over the banister and looking but not paying much attention to it.

"Why did you go to Don's last night Olivia?" Huang attempted again.

"What does it matter?" Olivia asked without looking at him.

"It matters, it's all connected to what happened yesterday." Huang replied his head turning to look at her but her not returning the favour.

"I didn't want to ... don't want to talk what happened on the roof, Don was there, he heard and saw everything, that's why I went there."

"But so was Elliot, he was there and he's staying with you at the moment right?" Huang pushed.

"Yeah but Elliot's not the person I share my bed with." She snapped in reply, goodness he was getting on her nerves.

"So Bayard was the problem?" Huang pressed further.

"What's your problem? You seem too have all the answers already so why question me?" She hissed.

"Olivia..."

"Yes Bayard was the problem, we fought and I didn't want to have to go somewhere where I would have to talk about what happened on the roof so I went to Don's, I knew he wouldn't mind and he wouldn't push for any answers I didn't want to give him." Olivia snapped. "Now we're done."

She walked down the stairs just to grab her coat and head out, Huang could only watch her as she went knowing he'd pushed her too far.

* * *

She walked down to the office and grabbed her coat deciding a walk would do some good to help clear her head but she didn't quite get the chance to leave before someone was at the bullpen asking for her.

"I'm Olivia Benson." She replied turning to the young man holding a bouquet of a dozen red roses.

"I just need you to sign for these Ma'am." He explained holding up a clipboard.

Olivia nodded and quickly scribbled her name on the paper before taking the roses. As she pressed her nose softly to inhale their sweet scent she spotted George Huang coming down the stairs and she knew he was about to go and discuss her with Don Cragen.

She tried to ignore it and went to sit down with her flowers. She knew Elliot was watching intently as she pulled out the card and read it.

_Words cannot begin to describe how sorry I am..._

"He thinks flowers are the best way to apologise?" Olivia scoffed as she placed the card back on top of them and turned to her computer.

"I don't know but I've been waiting for you, we've got a witness on the Dwyer case who we have to talk to." Elliot said pushing his chair back and Olivia just nodded and quickly followed.

* * *

After talking to the witness they said goodbye at the door and found they still had no lead, they were about to head to the station when a young man carrying a dozen red roses stopped them.

"You're Detective Benson?" He asked.

"Uh yeah who's asking?" She replied eyeing him suspiciously.

"Uh someone at your precinct told me I could find you here." He explained handing over the flowers.

"Ok, thank you." Olivia replied as the boy hopped back onto his bike and cycled off. "That was weird." She mumbled as she picked up the card.

_... I should understand that you'll talk when you're ready too..._

"Ok?" Olivia frowned.

"What is it?" Elliot asked opening the passenger door for her.

"I think Bayard's sending love notes with his flowers, I think it's his attempt at an apology." Olivia explained as she got into the car.

Elliot sighed and shook his head as he walked around to the driver's side, she was too stubborn for her own good sometimes.

* * *

Back at the precinct Olivia wasn't sat down five minutes when a third bouquet of red roses arrived.

"Someone's grovelling." Munch teased.

"Or someone wants to get laid." Fin added as both of them laughed.

Olivia sighed and peeled back the card and placed the roses on top of the other two.

_... I know you're upset and I know I'm partly to blame..._

Olivia smiled a little, he really had a way with words.

Elliot saw the smile, the twinkle in her eye and as he sat back in his chair with his feet up on the desk and a lollypop he'd stolen from Munch's secret stash in his mouth he passed a smirk over to her and she returned it.

Munch answered a call but Olivia and Elliot were mid conversation without a word, oblivious to everything else in the room.

She was telling him she was forgiving Bayard and he was telling her that it was about time. They both chuckled softly as Munch walked over to them.

"What is it?" Elliot asked once Munch had snapped the lollypop from his mouth.

"You and Benson, DB on West a hundred and eleventh street, Warner's already on scene." He said handing them the slip.

"Hey it's your turn." Elliot replied handing the paper back.

"Cap told me to handle the reins while he's busy so I'm giving it to you and Benson." Munch snapped.

"I'll take Fin." Olivia replied getting to her feet.

"No you're my partner." Elliot snapped also jumping to his feet.

"Someone just go already! I know the vic is dead but the ME has to get back to the morgue and do the autopsy." Munch snapped and he'd barely finished before the two partners had rushed out the bullpen.

* * *

"What have we got?" Olivia asked coming towards Melinda who was scribbling on a chart.

"Jane Doe, age between thirteen and fifteen, COD blunt force trauma to the head, visible signs of sexual assault but no fluids, I'd say she died in the last six hours." Melinda replied without even looking up from her chart.

"Ok." Olivia nodded, she knew they would have to hope CSU found something so that they could even begin with their investigation.

"Detectives!" O'Hallaran called from the crime scene tape.

Olivia and Elliot shared a look that said hopefully this would be a lead into their case. What they found at the tape was something completely different. Yet another spotty teenager held a dozen red roses.

"Detective Benson?" He asked nervously looking at Olivia.

"Yeah that's me." Olivia replied and he handed his clipboard over for her to sign while trying to avoid looking at what he knew was a dead body in the distance.

"Thanks." He said before diving on his bike and peddling off making Elliot laugh.

"Poor kid." Olivia laughed too, it was quite funny to see someone so terrified of a dead body.

"So what he say this time?" Elliot asked as Olivia pulled the card.

_... I don't think before I speak, think of your feelings..._

"Oh God he likes to make me feel guilty." Olivia sighed as she tucked the card back in and walked towards the car so she could leave the flowers there while she worked.

"Something tells me Liv that's not his plan, I think he's trying to apologise." Elliot smirked as she hit him over the shoulder.

"Ouch what was that for?" He said in mock pain as he rubbed his fake injury.

"For being obvious, I know he's apologising, but it makes me feel guilty." Olivia replied.

"Why don't you call him and tell him that you accept his apology?" Elliot suggested.

"Because he leaves three dots after every message which means there is more to it and I want to read the whole message before I give in." Olivia explained.

"You're not making this easy for him are you?" He teased.

"Of course not." Olivia replied. "Come on let's head back to the house and see if we can identify Jane Doe."

* * *

As soon as Olivia and Elliot walked into the bullpen Munch had them working on identifying the victim. They searched and searched and eventually found her.

"Cecilia Virginia Coldwell, age fourteen was reported missing by her Mom, she lives in Queens." Olivia said as she walked to the board with the information.

"Ok Elliot and Fin you do the notification, Olivia Cragen wants to talk to you." Munch said.

Olivia groaned inwardly. One look from Elliot telling her not to worry wasn't going to help either, she was about to go into the office when there was a cough from the entrance of the bullpen.

She turned around to see a man hiding behind numerous bouquet's of roses. She smiled, she knew it was Bayard.

"I thought you had court." She said trying to be dry with him but as soon as he moved the flowers from his face he saw that she was smirking a little.

"Finished early." He replied as she walked over to meet him.

"Oh right." She replied.

"Here are the other eight bouquets." He told her placing them on her desk because he knew she wouldn't be able to carry them all.

"Eight?" Olivia replied with one eyebrow lifted in surprise.

"I got you twelve dozen roses." He smiled and she melted, no one had ever done something so romantic for her ever.

She picked up the card to read it trying to avoid showing him that she was almost falling in love with him all over again.

...but one thing I know for certain is that I love you and I'm afraid to lose you. B xxx

She smiled widely and jumped into him, wrapping her arms around his neck as he grabbed around her waist and lifted her off the floor, the look of relief on his face obvious to anyone watching but Olivia who was rubbing her cheek into his.

He put her on the floor and she pressed her lips into his softly.

"So am I forgiven?" He asked.

"There's no reason to forgive you, because you have no reason to apologise." She smiled and he pressed her forehead to hers.

"Hearing that I might have lost you... scared me so much Olivia, then, then I went and did something that I thought made me lose you anyway and I couldn't live with that, please don't ever let me lose you." He whispered and she had to desperately blink back her tears.

"I won't." She replied before pressing her lips to his again.

Munch's dry cough had them separating with smirks on their faces.

"Sorry to interrupt your kiss and make up moment but Cragen really wants you in the office Olivia." Munch said.

"Sure, uh I should..."

"I have to get back to court too, I'll see you at home?" He asked gently pushing some of her hair behind her ear.

"At home." She smiled before they both quickly turned around and headed in different directions.

* * *

When Olivia went into Cragen's office she knew what it was about but the flutter she had in her stomach was from making up with Bayard and not the impending result of her psych eval.

"Take a seat Liv." Cragen said.

"No I'm good." She replied pressing her hands into the tight pockets of her trousers.

"Ok well I'll cut to the chase, you're being transferred to psych services..."

"What?" Olivia's voice didn't come out but the word mouthed was clear.

"It's been determined that you require something ongoing..."

"You have got to be kidding me." Olivia leant on the chair in front of her out of fear that her knees would buckle underneath her.

"You're out sick until psych says you can return..."

"What?" The word was audible this time, she whipped her head around to look at Huang. "What is your problem?" She hissed angrily, he didn't flinch, didn't bat an eyelid.

"Olivia!" Don said in a warning tone.

"What?" She spat turning to him. "How long did it take for you to agree with him Don?" She hissed. "What do you want from me? What do you expect me to do?" She yelled the frustration pouring out of her.

"Olivia, we need you to let us take care of your mental wellbeing because it's obvious that you aren't doing it for yourself..."

"You want me to cry? Scream? Tell you that I think I have some messiah complex from nearly being pulled over a roof and survived?" She screamed interrupting Huang.

"No, I want you to talk to someone, if not me then someone from psych services, talk about your fears, your worries..."

"You want me to talk?" She hissed interrupting him again. "Talk about my _feelings?_ Come on George when do you know _anyone _here to talk about their _feelings_?" Olivia snapped.

"This is a complete different situation Olivia, you're pregnant now so your hormones..."

"Jesus Christ!" She yelled. "You're going to say I need to see a shrink because of hormones! Hundreds of women everyday get pregnant and none of them see a shrink..."

"None of them work with sex crimes and was almost pulled off a roof of an apartment building!" Cragen yelled back his blood boiling with her refusal to accept help.

There was an awkward silence where Olivia and Elliot glared at each other. Huang's eyes flickered from one to the other unsure who would move first.

"Fine." Olivia said turning to go for the door.

"Liv..."

She bit her bottom lip, her hand on the door knob she didn't want to turn around but slowly she did.

"...You won't be needing your weapon." He said softly.

Olivia glared at him, she couldn't believe the words that her superior had just spoken. His eyes showed that he was serious and as her hand held her Glock tight to her hip she knew he wouldn't let her walk out of the office with it. Slowly she removed it from the holster and walked to the desk, slowly she placed he gun onto the wooden desk with a soft clunk her eyes never leaving Don's.

"You'll be back as soon as psych services clear you." Don told her firmly.

Again her eyes never left his as she stepped back from the desk. Her eyes flickered down to the gun before she turned on her heels and left the office.


	23. Chapter 23

**Yes some of the lines in the last chapter were from Elliot/Huang/Cragen scene in Charisma, I tried to change the lines as much as possible but it was that episode that gave me the idea to take the story that way so it was hard to change it much when I had the actual lines in my head, Charisma is one of my favourite episodes and I have watched it more than any other so I know all the lines by heart! **

Olivia was woken by a light nibble on her ear. She moaned and laughed lightly.

"B..." She stressed through her giggles.

"I'm sorry, but I always wake before you." He teased as he pulled her into him so she was leaning on his chest and looking into him.

"I've noticed." She replied before pressing a kiss to his lips.

"So what are you going to do today?" He asked as he ran his hands down her bare back.

"Uh well seeing as I've got some free time on my hands I'm going to call the Doctors and schedule a blood test then I have to see the psych this afternoon and ... talk through my issues." Olivia shivered as she spoke the last line.

"Well sounds like a fun day." Bayard said sarcastically.

"Yeah." She spat. "Absolutely."

"Olivia, give it a chance, if George thinks you need this then listen to him, when you see the shrink today don't hold back." Bayard suggested.

"Yeah open my heart and soul." Olivia said rolling her eyes.

"I mean be honest with the psych Olivia, don't lie or hide anything and then hopefully you'll find yourself back in work soon." Bayard explained as he ran his hand through her hair.

"Yeah." She sighed snuggling her head into his chest further.

"And as much as I'm enjoying lying here with you in my arms I have to get dressed for court." Bayard sighed, he didn't want to have to leave her now.

"I know." Olivia replied pushing herself to sitting. "I'll go make the coffee."

He sat up but pulled her back. He dropped his lips to hers and she kissed him straight back, no hesitation. She moaned involuntary and Bayard knew if he didn't move soon he would have a problem.

"I'm gonna shower." He told her before letting go of her and climbing out of bed.

She pulled on his dirty shirt from the previous day and her pyjama bottoms before going out and to the kitchen. She found Elliot already there making coffee.

"I'll drop your kids off if you want." Olivia told him.

"You sure you don't mind, I know Cap won't if I'm late." Elliot said.

"I need something to do to pass the next few days El, taking your kids to school would be a pleasure." She smiled.

"They'll be pleased if you take them in the Ferrari." Elliot smirked as he passed her a mug over.

"I'm sure I can do that." She replied with a grin just as her cell phone rang. "Benson."

_Hey Baby Doll, Don said you have a few days off, I wanted to know if you were free for lunch?_

"He did? Son of a bitch ..."

_Language._

"Sorry, uh can you do midday I have somewhere to be at one." Olivia replied.

_Sure I can, bistro outside the courthouse?_

"Sounds good, see you then."

_Love you. _

"Yeah Love you too." As she hung up she instantly knocked one of the speed dial buttons.

_Cragen. _

"You told my Dad I was off for a few days?" She hissed.

_Olivia..._

"Don't you dare try and defend this you had no right to tell him anything..."

_He told me he wanted to spend some alone time with you but you were always busy so I said you had a few days off and maybe he could catch you then._

"Stay out of my life Don! You have no right to tell him anything! Didn't you think there might have been a reason I didn't tell him about me being off? I have a wedding to plan, a baby to prepare for and time left to spend with my fiancé so I am sorry if my Dad didn't come into the equation!" She snapped angrily.

_Sorry, next time I'll keep my mouth shut. _

"Lying to me isn't going to help." She replied before ending the call knowing that Elliot was staring at her in surprise. "What?" She snapped at him.

"Someone wake up on the wrong side of the bed this morning?" He asked carefully.

"No I just don't like it when my boss intervenes in my personal and privet life." She replied still angry.

"Oh come on Liv, he didn't mean anything by it." Elliot replied.

"Didn't ... Elliot he can't be my boss and my ... my... whatever the hell he thinks he is... he has to learn to separate our working life from our privet one or he can't be involved in one of them and I don't want to have to make that choice..." She jumped off the bar stool and sighed. "But if it comes to it I will."

Elliot could only watch as she walked off.

* * *

"Seriously? This is so cool!" Dickie's friend Thomas grinned as his friend climbed out of the Ferrari.

"Yeah Liv's the greatest , Thanks for the ride Liv!" Dickie grinned happily.

"Anytime Richard." Olivia replied knowing the boy never allowed his nickname to be used in front of his friends.

"So is she like your Dad's girlfriend?" Thomas asked making Olivia chuckle as she got their school bags and sports kits from the trunk.

"No she's my Dad's best friend, we're staying with her and her fiancé Bayard until my Dad gets us sorted." Dickie explained. "Liv's the greatest though she's always been like a second Mom to me and my sisters but especially me and Elizabeth."

Olivia smiled as she passed him his bag, he always seemed to say the right thing.

"So you haven't forgotten anything?" Olivia asked him.

"No." Dickie replied. "Thanks again Liv." He reached over and embraced her and as she went to kiss the top of his head he reached up and kissed her cheek.

"Have a good day." Olivia told him as the teenager blushed at his actions.

"Oh my God dude!" Thomas teased. "You fancy your Dad's girlfriend!"

"She's not my Dad's girlfriend!" Dickie snapped as Olivia watched them walk away.

"I didn't hear him denying that he fancied you." Lizzie smirked as she took her school bag from Olivia's arms.

"He doesn't fancy me." Olivia shrugged.

"Of course he does! Oh my God Liv, he has a major boy crush on you!" Lizzie laughed.

"Don't be silly I'm old enough to be his Mom." Olivia replied laughing as she helped Lizzie pull on her backpack with her school sports kit.

"Yeah well that never stopped other boys, I mean, have you not heard of cougars or MILF's?"

"Elizabeth Lauren Stabler that is the last time I ever want to hear you using words like that." Olivia said firmly but still with a hint of a laugh in her eye.

"Fine." Lizzie replied rolling her eyes.

"Have a good day kiddo." Olivia smiled as Lizzie embraced her and kissed her cheek just like Dickie had done.

"I'll see you at four!" Lizzie called as she rushed off to meet her friend who she'd spotted.

Olivia just smiled and leant against the car as she watched Lizzie embrace her friend and point over to her smiling happily. Olivia waved and received a wave from Lizzie and her friend meaning to her it was time for her to go and stop embarrassing the kids.

* * *

After dropping the kids off Olivia went straight to her OBGYN for the blood test. She'd been lucky to get an early appointment and she was barely at the office thirty minutes before she was told a call would let her know the results.

She then went hunting around for the perfect venue for her wedding. With the date set she just needed to plan everything and have them fall into place.

She pulled up outside a small yet five star hotel. She had been to a wedding here just a few years before and she had enjoyed the day, she remembered how it was only family and close friends.

It took her nearly two hours talking down the last details with the resident wedding planner, she had seen the chapel, chosen the colour scheme (which she and Bayard had already discussed a little) planned the sit down meal with her and Bayard's favourite foods and planned the evening buffet and disco and lastly agreed to use the in house photographer.

She then left the hotel sending a text to Bayard to let him know how far into the planning she'd gotten and then went to meet her father. He was already waiting for her when she arrived.

"Olivia." He smiled embracing his daughter.

"Hi Dad." She smiled embracing him back, basking in the comfort her gave her just by holding her.

They sat down and ordered their food before Oliver decided to hit her with questions.

"So how come you're not in work?" He asked gently.

"What Don didn't tell you that?" Olivia replied sarcastically.

"No, he said it was your business and your choice whether you told me or not." Oliver replied honestly.

"Yeah well if he stayed out of my business I would be in work now watching my partners back." Olivia sighed rolling her eyes.

"So he's the reason you're off?" Oliver continued to push, he reminded her so much of Don she wondered if they were biologically related or had spent too much time in each other's company over the year.

"No, no he made me get a psych eval with George Huang after I was nearly pulled off a roof of an apartment building." Olivia sighed, she didn't want to tell him but she knew he would just push until he got his answer.

"Baby Doll? What do you mean nearly pulled off a roof?" He was desperate for an answer, the worry evident in the way his eyes flickered across her face.

"Dad it's no big deal ok? Some girl was on the roof I tried talking her down, thought I managed it so I went over to her, she grabbed my shoulders and threw herself backwards off the roof, almost took me with her but I'm fine so don't panic." She explained loosely, the details were something she didn't want to discuss with him of all people.

"Not panic? You could have died Olivia!"

"But I didn't." She replied in a hiss as the waitress placed their lunches in front of them. "That's the main thing."

"Olivia..." His eyes flickered to the waitress and he decided to wait until she'd gone before continuing. "You don't just have yourself to think of now Baby Doll, there are Bayard and your baby for start and then there's me and Simon ... we've only just got a place in your life and we don't want to lose you." He said softly.

"I know Dad..." She reached her hand over the table. "I know that but you have to understand that I my job there are risks and my life being on the line is one of them, I won't make the same mistake again of that you can be sure, so can we enjoy lunch and talk about happier things? Like my wedding and the baby?"

* * *

After lunch with her father Olivia made the short drive over to the psychiatrist's office. She wasn't able to calm her racing thoughts as she drove her Ferrari into a parking space and prepared herself to answer questions she wasn't sure she was ready to face.

She went inside and gave her name to the receptionist. She was early so she knew she would have to wait a little while before she was seen. A part of her just hoped that the psychiatrist was good, Don and Huang had set it up so she knew that it would be someone Huang knew, this was going to be on record though because it was the result of an evaluation after a traumatic experience in the line of duty, and for that she hated George Huang, she blamed him and Don Cragen for insisting that she needed help.

"Olivia Benson." The receptionist called.

Olivia stood up wearily, she wasn't ready for this.

"Room four, Doctor Hendrix is waiting for you." She smiled.

"Rebecca Hendrix?" Olivia asked.

"Yeah." The receptionist smiled.

"Thanks." Olivia replied trying to hide the groan she wanted to emit, the last person she wanted to talk to was the woman she'd gone to the academy with, the woman who had decided that being a cop wasn't for her and that she would be better off shrinking the heads of criminals than locking them up.

Olivia knocked on the door and heard Rebecca's voice chime for her to enter.

"Olivia." She smiled.

"Hi Rebecca." She replied as the woman came over and embraced her in a friendly manner.

"Come, take a seat, would you like a coffee? Soda? Water?" Rebecca asked.

"A water please, I'm cutting back on caffeine in moderation." Olivia replied without thinking.

"A cop cutting back the coffee? Ok what's the reason?" Rebecca asked already jumping in to the session and Olivia's backside hadn't hit the seat.

"I'm pregnant." Olivia replied and Rebecca turned to her with her mouth wide open in shock.

"Wow, last I heard you were dating a defence attorney!" Rebecca replied.

"Well it went from dating to engaged to a defence attorney." Olivia replied with a smile, Bayard was a comfortable topic, this she didn't mind opening up about.

"Wow! Olivia Benson the commitment phobe engaged? I never thought I'd see the day!" Rebecca smiled as she brought a glass of water over to the detective and her notebook and pen in her other hand.

"So when's the wedding?" Rebecca asked using the flow of the conversation to bring up the more distressing topics.

"Three weeks and five days." Olivia replied.

"That soon?" Rebecca asked.

"I want to walk down the aisle not waddle, I thought to move it back he thought why not move it forward and so that's what we did." Olivia smiled.

"That's great so what's the lucky man's name?" Rebecca continued.

"Bayard, Bayard Ellis." Olivia replied before taking a soft sip of her water, she knew what the psych was doing, she wasn't stupid.

"I don't know him, has he worked many of your cases in the past?"

"Do you think I would have dated him if he was a defence attorney to paedophiles and rapists?" Olivia replied sarcastically making Doctor Hendrix smile and run her hand through her brown hair.

"Good point." She smiled. "Ok why don't we start by you telling me what led to this session?" Rebecca asked.

"Psych eval with George Huang." She replied knowing that this is where the session really started, somewhere here the questions were going to be tough emotionally.

"What led to the psych eval?" Rebecca didn't hesitate in pushing.

Olivia sighed, she knew what the answer was in a simplistic manner but she also knew that the psychiatrist, as much of a friend that she was, she would push for the details and Olivia knew that the trauma of what had happened had made the details a little sketchy.

"I was almost pulled off a roof of an apartment block by a traumatised seventeen year old girl." Olivia replied softly, she knew it was impossible to hide how much this conversation was already affecting her.

Rebecca scribbled in her notebook before turning back to the Detective.

"What were the events leading you to be on that roof?" Rebecca asked.

"Uh Cragen called, said that we were needed for a case and gave the address." Olivia began easily. "We met him there and he told us seventeen year old Jasmine Hook had been raped and then killed her rapist and in a panic had fled up to the roof, no one had managed to talk her down and he hoped that I would be able to do it." Olivia's voice shook a little, Don had faith in her abilities that morning and she'd failed and that didn't sit well with her.

"What are you thinking?" Rebecca asked seeing Olivia's eyes flicker as her mind worked.

"Nothing..."

"Olivia, if you want me to sign you back to work you have to be honest with me." Rebecca warned and Olivia nodded, she knew that but it didn't make it any easier.

"I was called because Don Cragen thought I'd be the best person to talk her down and I didn't do that, I talked to her and it made her throw herself off the roof to the ground." Olivia said in a near whisper, it embarrassed her to have such little faith in her abilities.

Rebecca knew that was something she had to address and quickly scribbled it down but first she needed all the information she could get from the Detective.

"Ok so what happened when you got on the roof?" Rebecca continued.

"I talked to her, found out what happened and then she told me about her Mom, how her Mom had been raped and how she was the product..." Olivia's voice broke and she closed her eyes as one solitary tear escaped.

Rebecca felt for her friend and patient, she knew Olivia to be strong and to see her in tears broke her heart, it was obviously deeply affecting Olivia for her to be crying.

"She was the product of her Mother's rape and so you connected with her on that." Rebecca said softly nodding her head in understanding.

Olivia couldn't sit still so she stood up and walked around to the back of the couch she'd been sitting on so that she could pace.

"But I'm not the product of my Mother's rape." She said after pacing the floor three times and coming to a stop behind it, her arms folded across her chest as if she was trying to protect herself in some way.

Rebecca frowned, it was the one thing she'd always known about Olivia and she was now seriously worried about her friend's mental health for her to be denying her creation and something she'd fought to live with her entire life.

"Olivia..."

"I found him." Olivia said.

"Liv..."

"No listen to me." She said firmer knowing she would have to explain everything for Rebecca not to have her sectioned and sent to Bellevue Psychiatric.

"Go on then." Rebecca replied.

"I ran my DNA through CODIS looking for a familial match." She said. "I found my brother or half brother Simon."

Rebecca nodded and actually felt some relief that she had found some family that she could have in her life. I then started digging and found out who our father was, Joseph Hollister, or that was the name he had been living under for thirty eight years." Olivia sighed and leant on the back of the couch. "He was in witness protection, he never raped my Mom, his real name was Oliver Benson and he and my Mom married, he knew about me, he watched me grow up and with the help of Don Cragen he even got to see me once, he had pictures ... He loved my Mom Rebecca, I may have grown up thinking I was a victim of my Mom's assault but I wasn't truth was she was never even raped! She lied to me all those years to protect him, and me, so that they wouldn't come after us, everyone thought he was dead and I was the product of a rape no reason for the people who wanted to hurt him to come after us and no reason for me not to go searching for him." Olivia explained in frustration.

"So how does all that connect to what happened on the roof?" Rebecca asked moving the subject matter back.

"I was stood there, talking to her and telling her I knew how she felt and that I understood and ..." Olivia bit her bottom lip and closed her eyes again, she'd been hiding this since the morning she'd been up on that roof, she didn't know how to say it all out loud.

"Olivia." Rebecca's voice was firm and insistent.

"I was telling her that she could live with it and stuff and I don't remember exactly what we were saying but I just kept trying to connect with her and make her understand that she could still have a life and I keep thinking ..." She sighed. "I keep wondering if she saw right through it, yes I was talking to her from feelings I'd grown up with I mean hell I know what it's like to be seventeen and think your Daddy's a rapist but I know my Dad now and he's kind, caring and loving, he's always loved me and always cared for me and I think she could see something in me that told her that I was lying about something." Olivia explained as the tears built.

"You think you're to blame for her death." Rebecca noted.

Olivia just nodded not trusting her voice for a moment.

"I don't just think Becca, I know, I stood there and told her I understood and I knew how she felt but I was lying, I didn't know how she felt because I just found out that my Dad is an honourable man ... in so many words I mean he was a defence attorney who kept drug barons from jail but the point of the matter is I think she saw straight through me." Olivia explained.

"But Olivia, you have felt everything she was feeling, you've been in her position." Rebecca told her.

"Yeah but in the past seven months I got to know who my Dad really is and it's not that those feelings didn't exist but they don't exist anymore." Olivia replied sighing.

It was hard to explain to the psychiatrist.

"There's more that you're not telling me." Rebecca said and Olivia nodded.

"Another part of me wonders if she actually saw that I had felt those things and thought she could end both of our suffering, taking me over that roof with her ... maybe she saw it as a favour, thought she was helping in some way taking away both of our pain." Olivia explained weakly.

"And that's what's bothering you the most isn't it Olivia? That there are two separate explanations with the same outcome for both of you." Rebecca replied and Olivia didn't need the weak nod for Rebecca to see she agreed with her.

"And both explanations lead to the same conclusion." Olivia sighed.

"And what is that conclusion Olivia?" Rebecca asked seeing it distressed and pained Olivia.

"That I'm to blame for Jasmine Hook's death."


	24. Chapter 24

**I know the updates are coming thick and fast but it's because the inspiration is flowing!**

Six days flew by and it was a day that Olivia and Bayard had been excited for ever since she'd had the positive result from the OBGYN. It was the day of her first sonogram.

"You excited?" Elliot asked as Olivia buttered some toast, Bayard was showering and Elliot had to go into work.

"Yeah, it's gonna really feel real after today you know." Olivia replied.

"You mean it doesn't already?" Elliot asked nicking the toast she'd finished buttering making her frown then laugh.

"It's not that it doesn't but it's easy to forget that there's a little life growing inside me but then after seeing it today with my own eyes I don't think it will be as easy to forget." Olivia explained.

Elliot couldn't help but see how much she was glowing already. She had a blush on her cheeks and a sparkle and smile in her eyes.

"Right I'm going for a shower, I'll drop the kids off for you El if you wanna get yourself into the office." Olivia smiled.

"The kids love having you taking them in that machine you call a car." Elliot laughed.

"Hey baby Benson isn't a machine!" Olivia replied with a pretend frown and a crinkle on her brow.

"I'm sorry!" He laughed holding his hands up and pasting an apologetic look on his face. "Hey when you gonna be back Liv? I miss my partner."

This is where the fake pout turned real and she folded her arms and leant against the counter.

"I'm not allowed back till Hendrix clears me and she thinks I have Daddy issues to work through." She explained sadly.

"Daddy issues?" Elliot asked with a cocked eyebrow.

"Yeah something to do with the fact that I grew up thinking he was a rapist, that I let that control every decision I ever made in life, job wise, romantically, it's stupid." She snapped and Elliot could see it was really getting to her.

"Liv what is that's really bothering you about it?" Elliot asked softly.

Olivia sighed, he was her best friend for a reason, he could read her better than anyone she ever knew, even better than Bayard could.

"She said I might feel differently about working in SVU because of what we're working on." Olivia explained. "But so far I still can't imagine doing anything else El and a part of me thinks that's when she'll decided I'm 'better' when I decide that I'm over the fact I grew up thinking my Dad was a rapist and no longer feel the need to work sex crimes anymore."

"Oh Liv..." Elliot sighed, he really didn't know what to say to her to make her feel better.

"But I don't El, there's been no doubt in my mind that I still want to work SVU, every victim we've ever come across makes me determined to carry on our job, especially now I'm pregnant, I want to make sure I can help bring in paedophiles and rapists and scum that could harm my baby." She explained with a look in her that showed she'd thought a lot about it.

"Then tell Hendrix that." Elliot said.

"I have." Olivia sighed. "Every day since she bought it up."

"Then just stick by it, keep doing what you're doing and then you'll be back in no time." Elliot smiled. "No I better go shower."

* * *

After dropping the kids off in school Olivia met Bayard at the OBGYN's office. They sat down on the uncomfortable plastic seats side by side, he had one arm around her waist his hand gently resting on her still flat abdomen, her hand cupped over his. They didn't speak, they were both too riddled with nerves to be able to speak to each other.

When Olivia's name was finally called he stayed close to her as she changed into the thin gown and climbed onto the examination table. He spoke sweet gentle words about their future as the Doctor poked and prodded between her legs and he kissed her knuckles whenever a look of pain or discomfort showed in her eyes.

Once that was done Olivia changed back into her clothing and climbed back onto the examination table rolling her sweater up in the process.

"So did you drink plenty before coming?" Doctor Edwards asked as he grabbed the gel for her stomach.

"Yes and I am busting for a wee." Olivia replied grumpily.

Doctor Edwards smiled, she saw this kind of behaviour all the time, expectant mothers who had to endure the physical examination which was never comfortable especially with a full bladder which was necessary for a good picture of the foetus.

"This will be a little cold." Doctor Edwards said before dropping some of the gel onto Olivia's stomach making her shiver and squirm.

Doctor Edwards continued to smile as she put the Doppler to Olivia's stomach, she knew as soon as she found the tiny being that Olivia's attitude would change.

"Right, here we go." Doctor Edwards smiled as she turned up the volume on the machine. "That would be your baby's heart beat."

Olivia's eyes instantly watered and she turned to Bayard who was also teary.

"Then if you look here..." Both heads turned to the monitor and looked at just where Doctor Edwards's manicured nail was pointing at.

"That's our baby." Olivia whispered. "Oh my God."

"That's the most beautiful thing I have ever seen." Bayard replied and Olivia nodded in agreement.

"Now then I'm just going to take some photos and print them off for you then we can discuss some options that you need to consider." Doctor Edwards smiled.

In less than five minutes Olivia and Bayard were sat side by side holding pictures of their baby with extra copies for selected friends and family. They held each other's hand and faced the doctor knowing that there were important things to be discussed.

"First I'd like to say that you're nine weeks pregnant Olivia and the baby's heart beat sounds perfect." Doctor Edwards said.

It was like a flood of relief over both of them at hearing that news.

"Now we do need to discuss your option to have amniocentesis..."

"No." Olivia replied.

"Olivia..." Bayard went to interrupt.

"No B, no way, I don't want to be faced with the possibility of having a sick baby until he or she is born, I don't want the amneo." Olivia replied.

"You don't have to decide now Olivia, why don't you and your fiancé talk about it at home and then you can tell me when I see you in two weeks?" Doctor Edwards sensed an argument coming between the couple and she had a busy schedule ahead so didn't want it happening there.

"Fine." Olivia replied.

"Good now I'll prescribe some prenatal vitamins for you and also I wanted to ask you have you started having any cravings?"

"Nope why?" Olivia asked softly.

"Well many women develop Pica when pregnant, you know cravings for things that aren't food, if this occurs don't eat whatever it is you're craving, some people will crave coal or ash others will crave shampoo or body wash and all these are toxic for both you and the baby so if it happens I want you to avoid it until I see you then we can determine how to stop them, now how is the morning sickness?" Doctor Edwards swiftly moved on.

"Morning sickness? More like mid afternoon sickness." Olivia replied, it was always between two and three pm that she found herself bent over a toilet bringing up her lunch.

"How bad is it?" Doctor Edwards asked.

"Not that bad actually, I expected worse." Olivia replied.

"So you're managing with it?" Doctor Edwards continued.

"Yeah." Olivia nodded.

"Good, if it gets any worse then you can get some anti nausea medication over the counter or what many women are finding more and more useful are sea sickness bands, they look like sports bands but have a pressure point for the pulse on your wrist and many women find it reduces or removes the sickness and it doesn't give you or your baby any chemicals." Doctor Edwards smiled.

"Where can I get them?" Olivia asked.

"At your pharmacy just ask and they'll know what to get." Doctor Edwards smiled.

Olivia nodded, suddenly this pregnancy thing looked a lot scarier.

* * *

After leaving the OBGYN Bayard and Olivia went their separate ways, she was meeting with Casey and Melinda to buy their dresses with the wedding in less than three weeks there was still a lot to do.

"Hey girl!" Casey grinned as Olivia stepped out of her car.

She rushed over and embraced her friend and they patiently waited five minutes for Melinda who arrived the way she dressed for work.

"Sorry had a DB up on Hudson only just got away, let me just change!" Melinda smiled.

Twenty minutes later and they were going into the designer boutique that Olivia had chosen to buy her dresses for, her father was paying, after a heated argument with Olivia about how the father of the bride always pays and she should just enjoy that she could have that.

"Ah Ms Benson, so good to see you!" Janice the owner of the store came to meet her.

The ladies all slipped off their shoes and slipped into fluffy slippers before entering the main part of the store, it was by appointment only and Olivia had considered herself lucky to have been able to get an appointment.

"So I took the idea's you'd given me and I piled dresses onto racks for you to browse through, you can try any of them on and I'll pin you into them and then by your wedding day they will be perfect." Janice smiled.

"Thanks Jan', oh you may want to remesure my breasts and waist and hips." Olivia smirked.

"Olivia?" Casey asked.

"I am nine weeks along, bit further than I first thought." Olivia smirked.

"Oh my God!" Casey squealed as Olivia pulled the sonogram picture out of her bag and handed it to her bridesmaids before turning to Janice.

"Well we'll leave it till closer to the day then because I'm sure you'll grow more and I don't want to arrive on your doorstep the day of the wedding and the dress not fit." Janice smiled and Olivia grinned as this was exciting.

"Ok then bridesmaids first!" Olivia smiled as Melinda and Casey stopped cooing over the sonogram picture and brought their attention back to her.

"Right so like I said nothing full length but nothing to high above the knee either." Olivia smiled while Janice pulled out a rail full of dresses.

"All these dresses can be made into the colour that you want, as there is three weeks to go it can be done with you only having two bridesmaids." Janice smiled as Olivia looked at the array of colourful dresses. "Now I know you can't drink as you're expecting and you both are working so I have some sparkling apple juice in the ice bucket there so if one of you lovely ladies want to pour yourself a glass and then we can get started."

Casey was the one to pour the fake champagne into the flutes while Olivia went through the dresses choosing which ones the girls could try on and which ones she didn't like at all.

She eliminated more than half the dresses without the ladies trying them on and it left twelve dresses to be tried.

"Melinda you go first." Olivia smiled as she sat back down beside Casey.

Melinda grinned like a Cheshire cat as Janice took her into the changing room to try on a knee high A-line dress with V neck in chiffon with a large silk ribbon around the middle coming to a small bow above the right hip, this particular dress was in yellow but Olivia knew she could have it in her chosen colours.

"So have you and Bayard thought of any names yet?" Casey asked.

"No, we've decided not to think about Baby too much till after we're married." Olivia replied with a smile.

"That's a good idea." Casey smiled back.

"It's just planning a wedding in such a short space of time, you know, we have to focus on one thing then once we're back from the honeymoon then I can start getting everything ready for Ellis junior." Olivia laughed.

Melinda and Janice stepped out of the dressing room and while Melinda twirled Olivia crinkled her nose.

"I'll take that as a no." Janice laughed before disappearing back into the changing room so Melinda could try the next dress.

When Melinda next came out of the dressing room she was wearing a sheath column dress that fell just above the knees, it had one strap that had chiffon detailed small flowers all the way over the shoulder and had a chiffon ruffled pleat around the waist.

"That's a maybe, I like it but I'm trying to imagine it in my colour." Olivia explained.

"Ok that can go in the maybe pile." Janice smiled before disappearing into the changing room.

"Ok so which ever dresses I say yes to on Melinda you'll have to try them on so I can see how they look on you and vice versa." Olivia told Casey who nodded in agreement and felt quite relieved that she had actually taken the rest of the afternoon off.

"What time do you have to be at Hendrix office?" Casey asked making Olivia's brow furrow.

"Four." Olivia replied. "I asked for a later one so that I could focus on this today."

Melinda and Janice once again stepped out of the changing room and this time Olivia nodded slowly in approval. Melinda was wearing a white chiffon dress, one shoulder, column that looked a little like an old fashioned toga without the gold, there was a little bit of beads on the shoulder to.

"I do like that." Olivia smiled. "But it could do with a bit more beads along here..."

"I can do that." Janice smiled as Olivia signalled to the breast area of the dress.

"Good." Olivia beamed. "Next dress."

Out of the next three dresses Melinda tried on Olivia only liked one of them which meant she liked three out of the six Melinda tried.

"Go on Casey your turn." Olivia beamed as the friends switched places.

The first two dresses Casey stepped out of the changing room Olivia said an instant no too. The third was beautiful and Olivia was trying to imagine it in the colour and on Melinda too, it was a Taylor Swift inspired dress according to Janice. It was chiffon, A-Line that fell to the thighs. The chest criss-crossed with one side covered in a net rather than the chiffon, one strap was full shouldered and the other strap was see through plastic.

"I like that." Melinda agreed.

"Maybe pile." Olivia smiled.

Again the next two dresses Olivia frowned at leaving Casey with one more to try. Olivia loved its simplicity, it was an A-line dress, that fell above the knees in the front but just below the knees in the back, it had a simple diamante flower in between the ruffled breasts and the bottom of the dress had the layers that was ruffled slightly.

"That's beautiful." Melinda commented.

"I want you to try that one Mel, what do you think of it Casey?" Olivia asked.

"I like it, I mean considering that it isn't a shaped dress, it's lose, it's comfortable and I don't have to worry about any bits being visible that shouldn't be!" Casey laughed.

"Janice is there any way I could see what it looks like with a thin ribbon around the waist?" Olivia asked.

"Yeah of course give me a second." Janice dragged Casey back into the changing room and seconds later they stepped out with an inch wide ribbon wrapped around the waist.

"Mel try it on, I think it's the one." Olivia smiled happily.

* * *

"I love the dress you've chosen!" Casey grinned as they sat down in the restaurant.

"You know every time I imagined my dress it was nothing like that one but the second I saw it, Jesus guys I just knew that was the dress." She grinned, she couldn't have been happier with her choice.

"So what's next?" Melinda asked as the waiter served them their drinks, sparkling water for Olivia white wine for the ladies.

"Flowers, we have to go to the florist." Olivia smiled. "God I'm so excited."

"Benson's getting married, I never thought I'd see the day!" Casey laughed as did Melinda and Olivia.

It was true though, none of them thought Olivia would ever get married, it was a shock for everyone including her.

"Baby Doll?"

"Dad." Olivia smiled turning around to see her father stood beside Simon.

"What's this girls day out?" He asked as Olivia stood up to embrace him.

"Bridal part shopping trip." Olivia smiled as she moved on to embrace her brother.

"Well we'll leave you too it." Oliver smiled.

"No Dad why don't you and Simon join us?" Olivia asked, she liked spending time with her family.

"If your friends don't mind..." He said looking at Casey and Melinda who were shaking their heads and smiling.

They were moved to a bigger table by the restaurant and Olivia used the chance to introduce her father to her best friends.

"So Daddy my best friends and bridesmaids Casey and Melinda, Casey and Mel my Dad Oliver Benson and my brother Simon Mars..."

"Benson." Simon interrupted.

Olivia turned to her brother in surprise.

"I legally changed it." He replied with a smile.

"Wow, so you're a Benson too now." Olivia smiled as he nodded and grinned happily.

"Just like my Dad and Sister... well until you become Mrs Ellis." He replied. "So how's the baby?"

"Oh I got pictures." Olivia smiled reaching into her purse. "There's one each for you." She said handing them over.

"They're not much to look at are they?" Oliver joked as he turned the picture and his head in random directions trying to make the picture out while the ladies laughed.

"Daddy it's there." She said taking the photo and pointing to the foetus.

"It's tiny!" He laughed.

"Yeah well I'm only nine weeks along Dad, it's going to get bigger." She laughed back.

"Oh I didn't ask if you had any problems with the credit card." Oliver asked seriously.

"No, no problem but Janice just glanced at it and I think she didn't see that it said Mr Oliver and not Miss Olivia." She laughed as her friends frowned, she hadn't actually told them yet that her father was going to be paying for the wedding.

"So what have you planned for this afternoon Liv?" Simon asked.

"We have to go to the florist and then to the printers to get the invites sorted." Olivia replied.

"So you have a venue?" Oliver asked.

"Yeah Summer Falls Hotel." Olivia smiled back, she was quite pleased with how everything was falling into place.

"That's brilliant, uh, have you spoken to Don?" Oliver asked hesitantly.

"You know I haven't." Olivia replied firmly, she didn't want to argue with her father over this lunch but if there was going to be an argument she was gearing up for it.

"Olivia he says he's been trying to call..."

"And I'm off sick from work Dad so I don't have to answer his calls if I don't want to and I don't want to, I have nothing to say to him at the moment." Olivia snapped.

"He wants to apologise." Oliver stressed.

"I know, and he can apologise when I get my gun back, until then I don't want to talk to him. Now can we enjoy the rest of lunch without an argument?"

Oliver nodded, he wanted to tell Olivia she was being unreasonable and she should be grateful to Don Cragen for everything he'd done for her but she did have her Mom's stubbornness and it was pointless to try and reason with her once her mind was made up

* * *

After saying goodbye to Simon and Oliver at the restaurant Olivia, Melinda and Casey headed over to the florist she'd chosen to do her flowers, she knew there was a lot to sort out now with the button holes for the men, the bouquets for herself and the bridesmaids and the table arrangements for the hotel.

Seeing as the colours were chosen that was one thing less to worry about and she already knew what type of flowers she wanted it was just putting the arrangements together to see what they would look like.

"Hello Ms Benson." Hannah the young owner greeted.

"Olivia please, hi Hannah you said you'd have the arrangements ready?" Olivia asked.

"Of course right this way." Hannah led the three woman round to the back of the store where she did the wedding and funeral arrangements.

Numerous hundreds of bouquets were already put together for a wedding she had coming up but Olivia's flowers were all in a corner ready for her to chose the final details.

"So these are the bridesmaids' bouquets." Hannah smiled lifting up the small arrangement.

Olivia had wanted a simple wedding and for the girls she'd had a very small arrangement done that consisted of just five stargazer lilies sprayed into the colour Olivia had asked for with added glitter and very thin pieces of greenery. Olivia passed the bouquet to Melinda who naturally held it as she would if she were walking down the aisle and Olivia smiled.

"It's perfect." Olivia grinned. "Oh Hannah they're magnificent and I can't believe you got them in this colour too, I know you said it would be difficult but they're amazing."

"Well it took multiple attempts but I got there." Lily laughed softly. "Now this is one button hole I believe you said you wanted seven right?"

"Yeah seven button holes for the groomsmen." Olivia smiled as she admired the small stargazer lily again sprayed to colour with two pieces of greenery on either side and Hannah showed how it would clip on.

"Again just perfect." Olivia smiled happily.

"Now your bouquet." Hannah smiled handing the large flower arrangement over.

Casey and Melinda both gasped while Olivia's eyes watered.

"I can't believe this, they're better than I imagine." Olivia sniffed. "Damn hormones."

"Wow Olivia they're going to look amazing with the dress." Casey noted.

"Yeah they will." Melinda agreed.

Olivia could only smile, now everything was perfect, everything was almost ready and considering she was planning a wedding in a month and had three whole weeks to go, there was nothing getting in the way so far.


	25. Chapter 25

**So aiming for 30-35 chapters and then sequel **

Olivia lay half on Bayard half off, both of the completely naked and covered in a thin sheet of sweat. It was finally Saturday, two weeks exactly to the day they'd be getting married and Olivia was in a great mood having found out she could go back to work on Monday.

"You're happy." Bayard smiled as he drew small patterns with his finger along Olivia's shoulder blade.

"I'm always happy with you." She replied without moving. Her hair was fanned out across Bayard's chest and she was enjoying lying and listening to his heart beating and feeling the rise and fall of his chest.

"That was cheesy." He laughed making her laugh from the vibrations under her ear.

"It was supposed to be." She replied softly.

He smiled, she was amazing and best of all she was all his.

"What do you say we do something today?" Bayard asked.

"I was thinking, seeing as Elliot's off and so are the kids we should all head off to Coney Island for the day." Olivia replied. "I mean Elliot's new place will be ready next Saturday and I think I'll miss having him and the kids around."

"That's a great idea." Bayard replied. "It's going to be strange not having them around."

"Yeah." Olivia smiled as she turned to him.

"What?" He asked seeing a cheeky look in her eye.

"Well if I wasn't pregnant already I'd suggest we make a baby before we have to get out of bed..." She barely finished her sentence before Bayard was latching his lips onto hers and rolling her onto her back.

* * *

Elliot loved the idea they all went to Coney Island together and the kids were very excited even though Olivia explained that they were leaving baby Benson the Ferrari behind instead taking Bayard's Black SUV.

When they arrived they quickly headed off for the rides Olivia having to remind them that some wouldn't be suitable for her with her being pregnant.

"Just wait for me to read the safety instructions before we get on the coasters guys, it will say there if the ride isn't suitable for pregnant women." Olivia smiled as Lizzie held her hand.

"We have to go on the Cyclone! It's been here for over 80 years!" Dickie told them excitedly.

"And you've been on it easily more than eighty times!" Elliot replied, he was walking a step ahead of Olivia who was linking hands with Bayard as well as Lizzie.

"I think I'll be able to go on the Cyclone Dickie." Olivia smiled knowing the type of ride it was.

"Cool!" He yelled thumping his fist into the air.

"Will you sit with me Olivia?" Lizzie asked nervously.

"What you're actually going to go on it this time Lizzie, I mean you completely freaked out last time we were here." Dickie laughed.

"I will if Liv does." Lizzie replied and Olivia smiled and nodded at her making her break out into a wide grin.

"Yeah and then we'll head over and get wristbands for Luna Park." Olivia replied and Lizzie and Dickie's faces lit up bright.

"As long as you come on one ride with me I'm happy." Bayard said into her ear before nipping at it.

"Behave, there are kids around." Olivia replied giggling and earning a look of amusement from Elliot making her blush deeply.

They lined up for the Cyclone Olivia feeling pretty nervous, she didn't mind rollercoaster's but she hadn't been on one in a long time.

"You don't have to come on if you're scared Livia." Lizzie said feeling Olivia's hand shaking in her own.

"No I want to come on, just don't let go of my hand ok?" She smiled as Lizzie grinned excitedly.

Once in the front of the line they were put into cars. Bayard wasn't coming on so it was just her, Lizzie, Elliot and Dickie.

The girls sat behind the boys. Elliot looked over his shoulder as they waited for the ride to start and saw that Olivia looked a little pale.

"Liv you ok?" He asked quite loudly over the chatter of the tourists.

"I'm fine just ... bit scared." She laughed at her own fear, that was what places like this was for, the fear, the adrenaline and the enjoyment all rolled into one.

"It will be over before you even realise." Elliot smiled as the ride slowly began to move forward.

Elizabeth reached over and grabbed Olivia's hand and Olivia gave it a gentle squeeze knowing the fifteen year old behind her was terrified too. It slowly rolled up hill and Olivia began regretting getting on.

"Hands up Dad!" Dickie yelled and Olivia felt even sicker seeing Elliot and Dickie's arms shoot into the air.

As they circled halfway at a very slow speed Olivia knew the anticipation in the riders was only boiling, around the corner was the drop, it's where gravity took over and she knew that it would be mere minutes and a lot of screaming before the ride was over.

"I'm scared Liv!" Lizzie half laughed gripping tighter to Olivia's hand.

"Me too Liz." Olivia replied just as the ride came to a complete stop.

For a moment she wondered if it was broken but she'd not had the chance to ask because they barrelled over the edge and they ride was on, she screamed as did everyone else in the cart, many hands waived in the air even Lizzie pulled on hand from the bar, the other still tightly gripped to Olivia.

When the ride came to a stop she felt sick, one of the workers gave her a hand out and Elliot grabbed around her waist knowing she'd feel a little bit lightheaded from the ride.

"Ok?" He asked as he slowly led Olivia to where Bayard was waiting.

"Yeah, that was ... that was fun." She laughed.

Bayard laughed as he saw them approaching, Olivia's hair was just a little bit windswept and he had never seen her look anything like it.

"Hello Beautiful." He smiled as she dug in her pocket for an elastic.

"Funny." She replied.

"I wasn't kidding." He grinned before leaning in and kissing her cheek.

"Let's head off to Luna Park." Olivia smiled.

They all walked together stopping briefly to get drinks. Dickie filled Olivia in on the rides she should be able to go on while Bayard gave Lizzie a piggy back and Elliot snapped random photos on his iPhone.

They soon got their unlimited park wristbands which entitled them to just four hours inside the park. Olivia stopped at one of the information booth where a booklet was provided to her about pregnancy and the rides which she found extremely helpful, she found there were multiple rides she could enjoy and very few that she couldn't, secretly she was relieved because those she couldn't were high thrill rides she thought would make her sick anyway.

"Brooklyn Flyer first!" Dickie chimed happily.

"Olivia can go on that one." Bayard pointed out.

They all walked over together. Lizzie went on with Dickie while Olivia and Bayard got a seat to themselves. She wrapped close to Bayard as much as the seat belts would allow them too and they were soon lifted into the air. Elliot snapping a few pictures from the ground as they were pulled one hundred feet into the New York sky.

"I don't like this." Olivia moaned grabbing on Bayard's hand.

"Oh come on it will be fine." Bayard replied giving her hand a squeeze.


	26. Chapter 26

**Yeah so there's some drama before the wedding but I am trying to get to it sooner rather than later. **

Monday morning came by far too soon for Olivia's liking. They'd spent Sunday at Oliver's house and Olivia had been annoyed to find Don Cragen there. She'd avoided him all afternoon, even when at the dinner table and he'd spoken directly to her she'd managed to avoid talking to him whether it was excusing herself to the bathroom (Real morning sickness at three in the afternoon made faking it easier!) or by sneezing and apologise and ask Bayard what he'd just said. It was childish and her Father had pulled her up about it but she wasn't in a forgiving mood.

"Princess you have to get up for work." Bayard said rolling to her and kissing her neck softly.

"I know." She sighed and groaned as she stretched out her muscles.

"You were excited when Hendrix cleared you, what's changed?" Bayard asked softly.

"The longer it takes for me to talk to Don again the harder it's getting to talk to him." Olivia explained sighing again.

"Why don't you just apologise and say you were being unreasonable..."

"No way!" Olivia snapped. "He's the one who needs to apologise to me!"

"Olivia..."

"No Bayard, he and Huang were out of order! He especially! Taking away my gun ... he had no reason to do that!" Olivia explained angrily.

"Ok Princess, just get ready, go to work and just talk to him when he talks to you about work." Bayard suggested.

"I need to give him the wedding invite today, I'm taking them all in." Olivia sighed. "Your pile is by the toaster."

"I know, just put it on his desk when he's not in the office or something." Bayard suggested, he didn't like that he was helping Olivia avoid her superior but he also wanted to make sure she gave his best man the invite, he'd already asked and Don had accepted.

* * *

Olivia drove herself and Elliot to the precinct in the Ferrari. Don had been watching through the bullpen window and he sighed seeing the car arrive, he knew it would be awkward but he also knew they had to get to work.

"Everyone will just be glad to see you Liv." Elliot smiled as she pulled down her sweater over her very tiny bump.

She was showing now, for those who didn't know she was pregnant she just looked severely bloated, but for those who did know, she had a very adorable bump.

"Yeah well it will be nice to just have my gun back, damn you get used to the weight." Olivia laughed thinking of how she'd carried it for eight years and being without it was quite uncomfortable.

They walked the rest of the way to the squad room in silence, neither one sure what to say to break it. She went straight to her desk, pulled off her coat and sipped at the Starbucks she'd bought on the way.

"Hey baby girl!" Fin grinned as she pulled the wedding invites out of her purse.

"Hey Fin." She smiled turning to embrace him. "I can give you this now." She smiled sifting through the pile and finding the invite for Fin and Ken.

"Wow invite to the big day, it's less than two weeks now right?" He asked grinning.

"Don't remind me!" Olivia laughed.

"Yeah well we're going to get the suits with your Bayard on Saturday before helping Elliot move to his new place." Fin smiled just as Munch wrapped his arms around Olivia's shoulders from behind making her laugh.

"Skinny arms? Has to be John Munch!" She laughed as he slowly rocked her from side to side.

"It's good to see you Liv." He laughed as he let her go.

"Good to see you too John, here... your invite to the big day." She smiled. "Now I am going to drop these off in everyone's boxes."

She walked off with the invites many for the day even more for the evening party as she was inviting everyone at the one six.

"She's looking good." Munch noted as he watched her walked off.

"She's glowing man! I can't believe she's gonna be a baby mama!" Fin laughed before walking off to his desk.

Olivia took nearly thirty minutes dropping off all the invites and as soon as her backside landed on her chair Don came out of his office.

"Benson." He called his finger beckoning her into the office.

Olivia suppressed a sigh as she pushed back her chair under Elliot's watchful eye.

She walked tall into the office, holding her head up high and she wasn't surprised to see George Huang stood here either.

"Take a seat Liv..."

"No I'll stand." She replied quickly he'd barely even finished the sentence before she answered.

"Ok well you have to have a session with Huang so he can determine whether or not Hendrix was right in allowing you to return to full active duty." Cragen said. "Then I'll hopefully be able to return you your weapon ok?"

"Yes Sir." She replied as if Don was just her superior, not the man she'd looked up to as the father figure in her life for eight years.

"Dismissed." He said and Huang nodded his head to Olivia meaning they'd take the session straight away.

Olivia literally 'fell out' the way she had been taught in the academy and not the usual relaxed self she was with her superior normally.

She followed Huang up to the lounge and sat down on the couch knowing that this wouldn't or shouldn't take too long.

"So how are you Liv?" He asked.

"Fine." She replied with a slight shrug as if it was the most useless question he could ask.

George smirked, he knew that she would hate every second of this but it had to be done.

"So how do you feel your sessions with Rebecca changed your outlook on everything that happened?" George moved on not wanting to question how she was feeling, she looked great but wasn't one to say when she felt great.

"Changed me outlook on what happened?" She asked frowning. "It didn't, the sessions didn't change my outlook on what happened it just help me deal with all the feelings I had regarding what happened, ok in true enough fashion I'm not blaming myself anymore, she helped me understand that it wasn't my fault but she hasn't stopped me feeling like there might have been something I could have done differently the only difference is now I don't dwell on it, I've accepted that she died and I have also accepted that I lived to talk about it and see another day and I have no regrets about that, _I never did have_." She added the last four words in a serious matter knowing that George would carry it back to Don.

"Good, so other than what happened to Jasmine Hook what else did you and Doctor Hendrix discuss?" George pushed.

"Lots of things ..." Olivia shrugged. "Most of them that didn't concern this place and has nothing to do with you or Don Cragen."

"Olivia..."

"Most of it I wouldn't have talked about unless she explained how it fell under privileged information, she can't tell you because it didn't concern what happened on the roof but you know for me to have been off for nearly two weeks we talked through a lot more than just what happened on the roof, that bothers you because that means you don't know what was going through my head at the time I was on the roof." Olivia replied.

"Are you psychoanalysing me?" He asked with a raised eyebrow.

"I don't need to George it's written all over your face." She replied sarcastically.

George didn't know whether to smirk or frown at this point, she was right, it did bother him that he didn't know her state of mind when she was on the roof because he and Don had spent the past two weeks trying to prove that Olivia was completely sane when she went up there, mainly for themselves though because Don had been blaming himself, saying that he shouldn't have called Olivia in and that it was too much for her even though he didn't know Jasmine Hook was a product of rape, he couldn't have known to stop it.

"Ok why don't you tell me some of the feelings you worked through without telling me what you talked about?" Huang suggested and Olivia laughed in reply.

"Not gonna work George so either tell Cragen to give me my gun back or I go to one p p and put in an official complaint and I'll remind you that both my fiancé an father are_ very good lawyers_." He could see her eyes darkening as her temper began to get the better of her but he wasn't going to let her get away with everything that easy.

"So you think you have a basis for a complaint against someone?" Huang asked calmly.

"Think?" She snapped. "More like I know, I have spent the past week bored out of my brains George and when there's a study half filled with law books in the house it's pretty easy to find one on work ethics too, finding out about psych evals and police work, believe me when I say I should have gone to law school." Olivia laughed. "I've actually agreed to take a foundation open university law course while I'm off on maternity because of Bayard's badgering.

"So you're going to change careers?" Huang changed the subject quickly.

"No I'm taking a foundation degree George, you know where it takes about a year to complete depending on the hours I spend on it and because I already know a lot of the stuff it should come easily and I have no ambition to go and take the further course and then try for the bar." Olivia laughed. "I love being a cop but having a backup plan isn't a bad idea, plus I know my Dad would love it."

"So you're going to do it to please your Dad?"

"God you read too much into everything!" Olivia snapped. "No I am not doing it to please my Dad! He doesn't even know, and he won't know until after I get the foundation degree either, I just think it would make him proud you know, he missed all my academic achievements including me graduating out of the academy and it would be nice for both of us if we could have a moment like that to celebrate so why not do a foundation Law degree with the option to take it further if I so wish?" Olivia was visibly angry with the psychiatrist.

"I think that's a great idea Olivia and I think he would be very proud of you." George smiled softly and she gave him a half smile in return.

"Good now is that everything because I'd really like to get back to work, I have been waiting for this day for two weeks already." Olivia replied.

"Sure." George nodded.

ILB

Olivia sat at her desk staring at Cragen's office door with one hand stroking down the tiny bump just visible under her sweater.

"Olivia just because you're staring at the door it doesn't mean it's going to open." Elliot joked trying to get her to smile.

"It's been over an hour!" She agonized. "I just want my damn glock back before I nick yours and shoot him in the head with it."

Elliot burst out laughing which in turn got a smile out of Olivia.

"What?" She asked.

"Seriously? If George Huang heard that you'd never get your gun back." He teased.

"Yeah well saying it and doing it are two complete different things Stabler, I'm mad... furious with Don Cragen but I wouldn't sink so low as to murder him, but maybe holding the gun towards him might get him to change his mind." She smirked as she talked.

"I'm sure it would!" Elliot laughed as did Olivia which made her too distracted to see the office door opening.

"Benson!" Cragen called.

"You want the gun?" Elliot teased his hand on his weapon as she walked past his desk.

"If only it was that easy." She replied with a roll of her eyes.

Once she arrived the office all traces of enjoyment from her conversation with Elliot left her features and she stood up straight with an unreadable emotionless face.

"Wanna sit?" Cragen tried knowing it was hopeless.

"No thank you." Olivia replied dryly.

George Huang was watching her every movement and she knew it and felt even mildly intimidated by his watchful eye.

"Ok so uh you're probably wondering why it's taken us so long to call you in here..." Don said shifting nervously from toe to toe behind his desk.

"Not really." Olivia replied lying through her teeth.

"Ok well we obviously discussed your first evaluation in comparison to this evaluation and what Rebecca Hendrix could give us..."

"Get to the point Don." She snapped crossing her arms over her chest, she knew he was babbling for a reason.

"We don't think you're ready to go back in the field."

"What!" She snapped angrily.

"It's too soon..."

"Excuse me?" She yelled angrily. "I did everything I was told to! Everything! Which included an hour a week in the company of Rebecca fucking Hendrix who quite frankly gets on my nerves when she's working!" Olivia felt like she was fire, she was furious.

"But you're still hiding things Olivia, from me and from Don and when you won't let us help you ..."

"Help me? Hiding things? I let Hendrix in! I did as I was told and I held nothing back, Jesus." She ran her hand through her hair in frustration. "What is your problem?"

"I don't have the problem here Olivia." Don replied firmly.

"There's a reason you don't want me out in the field and don't you dare tell me it's something to do with the fact I have Daddy issues." She hissed leaning on the chairs in front of the desk.

"You're already opening up..."

"Don't you speak, I'm talking to him, not you." Olivia told Huang who immediately retreated back.

"So you have Daddy issues?" Don asked.

"Never you mind, it doesn't concern my job and I'm still seeing Becca once a week on my own so I don't need you telling me that I can't do my job!"

"You're still seeing Hendrix?"

Olivia turned around and took a deep breath, she knew she was either going to burst into tears or hit someone and she knew that neither would help her case.

"It's none of your business." Olivia replied. "The clock stopped on it being on the record the moment she signed off on me being able to return to work."

"Off the record here Olivia I'd like nothing more than to give you your gun back and send you out there..."

"Don't lie! I've been cleared for active duty which means that you have other reasons for keeping me behind a desk!" Olivia was getting worked up again, as she gripped the chair in front of her the skin on her knuckles turned white.

"I might have Olivia but you've got to trust me..."

"I stopped trusting you the moment you took that gun off me Don!" She yelled. "You had no reason to take it from me, I've been off sick because of psych evals before but this was the first time you felt the need to take away my weapon, why?" She was struggling to hide the tears that were steadily building behind her eyes.

"What does it matter?" Don asked.

"It matters to me!" She yelled frantically. "For you to do that it shows you don't trust me and trust works both ways, why do you think I haven't spoken to you in two weeks! How can you expect me to trust you when you don't trust me?"

Don sighed , he was getting nowhere with her and he knew that she wasn't going to drop the subject so he had to, without giving her the gun back.

"You have two choices Olivia, sit behind a desk or go home." Don said firmly.

"I'm going home." She replied hoarsely. "And off the record... I hate you." She turned on her heels and quickly left before the tears felt stopping at her desk only to grab her purse coat and keys.

Don sighed and slumped into his chair _that _had not gone according to plan.

"What are you reasons for not giving her back her gun?" George asked sitting down opposite him.

"What does it matter?" Don asked in a defeated manner.

"It matters because I told you that she was cleared for active duty, I told you I agreed with Hendrix but you still want her behind a desk, what's you reasoning?"

"I promised her father and her soon to be husband that I would make sure no harm came to her while she carried her baby." Don explained heavily.

"And to do that you need to make sure you can keep an eye on her, having her behind a desk instead of on the streets is just one way of looking out for her." George gave his viewpoint and Don nodded in agreement.

"And the cost is the girl I've loved as my own daughter hates me." He sighed.

"Go to her Don, talk to her and tell her what her Dad and Bayard said, she'll still argue against your decision and you know then that you will have to give her the gun back or she'll go to one PP but you'll at least salvage your relationship with her." George persuaded and Don nodded again.

"You're right, I have no right to stop her doing her job." He rolled his chair back and grabbed his keys. "Now I have to make sure there's a relationship left to salvage."

George nodded and just watched as the aging Captain left the office with slumped shoulders and a obvious heavy heart.


	27. Chapter 27

**Haha More Drama and you're going to hate me but I don't care!**

After Olivia went home she instantly made her way into the study, she was going to be true to her word at making a complaint against Don Cragen, he had no right to keep her on a desk when she'd done as she was told and been cleared by psych services.

She wasn't in there ten minutes before the front door phone to her apartment rang. That was odd on its own. She had a guest list by the doorman, anyone who ever called by her apartment had their name on that list so they just had to give it to the doorman and he knew all of Olivia's guests by now so he didn't have to check it.

But that's when she clicked. As she made her way to answer the phone she knew exactly who was calling by, the one name she'd taken off the guest list two weeks ago and been persuasive to her fiancé that the name was not to be put back on.

"Hello?" Olivia answered the phone.

Hello Ms Benson, I have a Captain Don Cragen from the NYPD here to see you, he says it's urgent.

Tony's callous British accent hit Olivia's ears making her smile softly but she was yet to answer him.

Ms Benson should I send him up?

"No Tony, could you tell him that I have no interest in seeing him today and would prefer to be left alone?" She asked.

Of course Ma'am have a good day.

"Good day Tony." She hung up the phone and headed back towards the study but she didn't even make it there before the phone rang again.

Groaning, she made her way back, she knew that Don would have threatened him with something that made him call up again, he was a good doorman and would respect tenants wishes usually.

"Hello?"

Sorry Ms Benson, he said that I would be prosecuted for Obstruction if I didn't call up again...

"Just send him up Tony and don't worry he has no reason to charge you for Obstructing the law."

Thank you Ms Benson, I'll let him in now.

"Good day Tony." She said before hanging up.

She went straight to the front door and opened it ready for when Don arrived while she went to the kitchen and switched on the kettle. Whatever he had to say to her wasn't going to result in friendly conversation so she was quite sure that having it at her home instead of at the precinct was going to make it a little easier to blow her fuse especially with George Huang not watching her ever move.

"Olivia?"

"Kitchen!" She called as the kettle finished boiling and she poured them both a mug of coffee.

Don came into the room and Olivia handed him the coffee before leading him down to the living room, she sat down in the arm chair, Don took the couch.

"So?" Olivia began.

"I don't want to lose you Olivia..."

"Too late for that." She replied with a sigh, maybe going into law wouldn't be a bad idea.

"Please Olivia..." His voice showed how much he was pleading with her.

"Why don't you want to let me do my job?" She asked him calmly, she didn't want to lose her temper with him.

"It's not that I don't want to..." He broke off and looked into his mug, he knew that he had to word what he was about to say very carefully or he could cause more explosions than needed.

"Then what?" She asked desperately, she wanted to understand.

"It's... I was asked to protect you more now that you're pregnant and it made sense to me to put you on a desk, that was the easiest way for me to protect you ..."

"Who asked?" She asked interrupting him.

"It doesn't matter..."

"It matters to me!" She snapped.

Don nodded, he understood that but he needed her to understand first that it wasn't Oliver and Bayard's fault that she was on a desk, they were just trying to be a father and fiancé.

"I will tell you, but let me explain first?"

"Ok." She nodded and he took a careful breath before continuing.

"I was asked to protect you but when you're in the field and I'm in the office I can't ... so I though putting you on a desk was protecting you but now I see that I was probably doing more harm than good, you're a cop, you're supposed to be out there doing your job." Don explained and Olivia nodded in agreement and understanding.

"Then who was it that asked you to protect me?" Olivia asked.

"Bayard and Oliver."

"Should have known." Olivia sighed rolling her eyes. "But they didn't tell you to take away my gun and put me on a desk?"

"No." He replied shaking his head. "I just thought I was doing what was best but I was wrong Liv, and I am begging you to understand that and forgive me for it..."

"Forgive you?" She scoffed. "Don you don't realise that taking my gun away was a part of the reason why I was off for _two weeks!" _Olivia sighed.

"I don't understand." Don replied shakily, he didn't want to anger her anymore.

"You took away my gun Don, to me it was like you should have turned around and said that there was a chance I'd eat the damn thing." Olivia explained. "I felt like I couldn't be trusted with a gun then how could I be trusted to take care of the life growing inside me, Hendrix was even at a loss when I told her you'd taken my gun, she told me that George had told her not to worry much about depression because I wasn't depressed that I just needed some guidance and working through what happened with Jasmine."

"I'm sorry Olivia, I am so sorry." He replied.

"Why did you take away my gun?" She asked him her eyes blinking doe-like.

"Because I thought I was still protecting you some." He replied shakily.

* * *

Olivia and Don arrived back at the precinct and went straight into the office. He handed over her gun and she smirked.

"What?" He asked as she clipped it in place.

"Nothing." She replied knowing that he'd take her gun straight off her if he knew of the empty threat she'd made when joking with Elliot before she saw Huang.

"Ok..." As the phone rang she waited for him to answer it knowing the chances were it was a case. "Cragen."

Olivia watched as he mumbled 'yeses' into the phone and scribbled down details before hanging up.

"Just be careful Liv." He said handing the pink slip over to her as he got up. "Quick." He said and they both hurried out into the bullpen.

"We have a hostage situation in the courthouse, and apparently it's SVU's case but that's all I know so I want us all down there now!" He called and everyone quickly grabbed their coats.

"I'm taking baby." She whispered to Elliot as she grabbed her keys with one hand and reached for her phone with the other.

"Lucky that I put unmarked sirens in there then right?" He teased and Olivia failed to laugh as she knocked one speed dial on her phone.

"Pick up..." She pleaded. "Please, Please pick up..."

"Liv give me the keys!" Elliot could see the worry on her face.

She didn't even think twice about throwing the keys over to him for the Ferrari. They both dived inside and as Elliot started it up Olivia pulled out the red light and siren and opened the window to put it on top of the roof. (A/N: I never do this halfway through a chapter but I don't know if they do this with unmarked cop cars in the US but they do in the UK and I wanted some comedy in this chapter!)

"Drive faster!" Olivia yelled as she knocked a different speed dial number on her phone.

Elliot decided to test the Ferrari out to its full capacity. Don Cragen who had been in the back of the car with Munch and Fin could only laugh seeing the blue Benson in front of him speed up.

"Should we try keep up?" Fin asked as he put the sirens on and put his foot down.

"That car goes from naught to a hundred in less than a second, there's no point even trying." Don replied laughing. "But wait till I find out how she got a siren and light for unmarked cars in there..."

"Stabler." Both Munch and Fin chimed.

"How do you know Olivia didn't do it?" Cragen asked.

"Because Olivia wouldn't think she'd need one with a car like that." Munch replied.

"And Elliot's been dying to find an excuse to drive the car too, Olivia would kill him if he dared." Fin laughed.

"So he kitted Olivia's car out with a siren and light just in case there was a chance she'd need to use it in an emergency and the chances were if that happened he would be the one allowed to drive and he wants to try it out like a race car?" Don asked to clarify but all Munch and Fin did was smile in reply, that's exactly what Elliot had been thinking, because they'd thought it too.

* * *

Elliot brought the car to a stop outside the court house and he and Olivia jumped out.

"Which courtroom is it?" Olivia asked one of the Chief's standing by.

"Excuse me? Who are you?"

"Detective Olivia Benson Manhattan SVU." She pulled her badge from her hip and pinned it to her coat so it was in plain view.

"Then Detective I'm guessing you know how to address your superior officers..."

"Right now I don't care if you were God! My Dad and my fiancé, the father of my unborn kid are in there!" She screeched as Elliot grabbed her biceps luckily for both of them Munch, Fin and Cragen arrived and rushed over to them.

"Olivia calm down." Cragen said softly.

"My Dad and Bayard are in there." She whispered trying to fight back her tears.

"I know, let me find out what's going on ok?" Cragen replied and she nodded before Elliot spun her around and held onto her. "Hormones." Cragen said to Chief Bartley who nodded in agreement letting go of any reprimand that had come to his mind.

"Ok Captain Cragen, its courtroom six that's been taken over a woman walked in with a fake police badge so she wouldn't have to go through the metal detectors, she walked straight into courtroom six and said something about the defendant being a rapist and child molester as she aimed the gun at the judge. She ordered that all bailiff's leave or she'd shoot and they did so we have no officers in there." He explained.

"So who is in there?" Cragen asked.

"She let out the people in the gallery but then locked the doors so we have the defence team, the people's team, the judge, the defendant and a couple of witnesses that she wouldn't let out."

"What else do we know?" Cragen needed as much information as he could get.

"Well the building has been evacuated and three shots have been fired but they're not answering the loud hailer calls and won't pick up the call." He added.

Cragen sighed and looked around him. Crime Scene tape outlined the whole building keeping the public away from the courthouse, he spotted Olivia sat in the seat of the Ferrari with her legs hanging out as she tried to call Bayard or her Father.

"Do we know what case was being tried in courtroom six?" He asked nervously.

"Is that information necessary for you to put a plan together?" Chief Bartley asked.

"I don't know, but I have a ten week pregnant Detective desperately trying to get a hold of her father and fiancé and I don't know what's worse, the not knowing or the knowing, if they're in there then she needs to know." Cragen said as the Chief turned to see a very worried Olivia blinking back tears and pleading in whispers for someone to answer the phone.

"Uh the case, it was a drug runner, sold a kilo of crack to an officer and he was found carrying a heck of a lot more." Chief explained.

"Twenty year old kid who was running drugs to pay for med school because he had no other way of doing it, never touched a drop of the stuff himself." Don relayed what Oliver had told him, he knew Olivia would freak if he went back to defending real bad guys and both he and Bayard were going to do it pro bono until the a baron paid for them knowing they were the best as long as they would help keep him in med school, the baron himself willing to pay the tuition because he felt so awful for the kid, he should never have gotten involved in things like this.

"Doesn't matter Don, a perp's a perp." Chief Bartley said.

"It mattered enough for Oliver and Bayard, they wouldn't take a case where the crook was just a crook, they only take cases where the crook deserves more than being locked up behind bars." Don replied.

"Her Dad and fiancé are defence attorneys?" The Chief asked in disbelief.

"Yeah they are." Don sighed. "And that's them in there."

"Shit. Well good to know Detective Benson didn't follow in Daddy's footsteps even if she is living off Daddy's money..."

"Don't you dare, you know nothing about Olivia or Oliver to begin passing judgement." Don snapped. "Now we have a traumatised girl in there who we need to help before she kills someone, if she hasn't already."

"Well we have SWAT ready to raid the place but we don't want to risk any lives." Bartley said.

"Let me get the guys suited up and discuss the case with them, see what they think the right plan of action is." Cragen sighed, he knew exactly how this was all going to play out.

"Sure thing, just whatever you decide run it by me... and it may be an idea to keep Detective Benson out of this one..."

"Detective Benson may be the only person able to get them out alive." Don pointed out. "And that's my biggest problem."

He walked over to the Detectives and Olivia jumped up and rushed to meet him halfway.

"Is my Dad and B in there?" She asked desperately.

"It looks like it, they're on the Dockley case aren't they?" Don asked.

"Yeah that twenty year old kid who got caught running crack." Olivia nodded.

"Then I think they're in there, but don't worry Liv we'll get them out." Don replied firmly and she nodded and put her phone in her pocket, she knew now calling was hopeless.

"So what's the situation Cap?" Fin asked.

"There's a girl in there, called the defendant a rapist and child molester, three shots have been fired but we don't know anything else." Don replied while Olivia gasped and covered her mouth with her hand. "We can get to the courtroom doors and try talking to her but she's traumatised..."

"I'll do it." Olivia said.

"Liv..."

"No El I have to! That's my Dad and my baby's Dad in there!" She was desperate not to sob.

"Olivia I will let you go in there because you're best to handle this situation even if your Dad does kill me after, I want you in a vest and SWAT will barricade the door while you talk through to her but I will only let you do this if you promise me you can handle it and hold it together."

"Of course I can!" Olivia replied firmly. "I know how to push my personal feelings aside Cap, but I'm the one most suitable to talk to this girl."

"Ok Elliot I want you with her with a radio." Don said and Elliot nodded in agreement.

* * *

It took ten minutes for Olivia and Elliot to get into vests while Don told the Chief what they were going to do. As soon as everyone was ready Olivia and Elliot went inside the courthouse where they were quickly covered by a team from SWAT. Munch and Fin had gone back to the station house to find out what they could about Ronan Dockley and the girl because they didn't even have her name.

"Bayard? Dad?" Olivia yelled out.

* * *

**ABOUT AN HOUR BEFORE**

"Mr Dockley, you don't deny committing the crime you have been accused of today do you?" Oliver Benson asked his client.

"No Sir." Ronan replied shaking his head firmly.

"What you do deny is being in the right mind frame to understand you were committing a crime am I right? Oliver continued.

"Exactly." Ronan agreed with his attorney.

"We've already heard how desperate you were to leave the downtrodden area you were born and raised in and how you made it to medical school, which shows to us that you're a very clever young man, but you allowed depression and desperation control your impulses and that's why you agreed to be a drug runner, can you tell the court why it is you turned down a deal of probation and a letter of recommendation to be allowed back into school?" Oliver leant on the jury box and looked at his client.

"Well they told me I could have the deal if I sold out the person or people I was working for except if I did that there would be no point going back to school because they'd have me killed." Ronan replied just as the court room door burst open to reveal a young woman.

"No one moves an inch or I will shoot." The girl warned as she pointed her gun towards Liz Donnelly the trial judge.

"Katrina? What are you doing here?" Ronan yelled at the angry girl.

"Shut up Ronan!" She screamed hysterically. "You're a rapist and a child molester and I'm going to make sure everyone knows it."

Bayard looked over at Oliver who looked just as panicked as he felt.

"Now I want all the civilians and court officers to leave and if they don't I will shoot the judge!" She warned.

Liz Donnelly stared at the young woman with the gun and hoped someone would be able to talk some sense into her before she fired.

Quickly the bailiffs and people in the gallery left except two who made Katrina smirk.

"Johnny, Callum, how did I know you two would stay behind?" She asked.

"Come on Katrina, you can't do this!" Callum the blonde haired blue eyed beauty said to the frantic girl.

"Of course I can, now everyone's going to know the truth about what Ronan Dockley is!" She yelled. "Now shut the hell up or I'll shoot!"

Both men retreated backwards.

What Katrina hadn't seen was while she'd been looking at the young men Oliver had moved towards his client and whispered for him to keep calm.

"You! You're the defence attorney right?" She asked.

"I am..." As soon as the words left his lips she aimed the gun at him and shot.

He crumpled to the floor in an instant.

"Oliver!" Bayard yelled rushing over.

"Who are you?" Katrina screamed as Bayard took off his tie.

"Bayard Ellis, second chair defence..." The one thing he shouldn't have said.

The gun shot again, narrowly missing him but as soon as she'd fired one shot she fired another this time hitting him square.

"Katrina what have you done?" Ronan gasped rushing out of the witness box to the two men.

"They're trying to keep you out of jail and that's where you belong!" She screamed.

Casey Novak who had been prosecuting this case because SVU had been so quiet just looked at Liz Donnelly, paralyzed to the spot unsure what to do. She could see both Bayard and Oliver pushing themselves to sitting which meant they were still alive which was one good sign.

"Katrina right?" Liz said softly hoping somehow she could talk this young woman down.

"Yes." She said meekly.

"Can you tell us what happened?" Liz said over the ringing phone that Katrina wasn't going to answer.

"I don't want to talk about it!" She snapped.

"Ok that's fine but can I step down and help Oliver and Bayard?" She asked.

"Why do you want to help them? They keep criminals out of jail!"

"I know! I understand that you're angry with them even if I don't know why but if they die the only person going to jail is you, please let me help them?" Donnelly was almost pleading.

Katrina spun round and saw a shock ridden Casey.

"You." She said pointing the gun towards the prosecutor. "You can help them."

Casey nodded and rushed over to her best friend's fiancé and father.

"Where are you hit?" She asked.

"Arm." Bayard gasped in pain as he spoke, his left hand clutching his right arm just above his elbow.

"Leg." Oliver's voice was weak as both his hands clutched his thigh.

"What do I do?" She asked desperately.

"Take his tie." Bayard said nodding his head towards Oliver. "Tie it just above the wound and pull it tight." Bayard explained, he knew some basic forms of first aid and luckily for him this was one of them.

Casey quickly did as she was told and as Oliver screamed out in pain she was desperately trying not to cry.

"Ok I'm done." Casey said.

"Now do the same to me, take my tie off and just above the wound." Bayard said.

Casey nodded and quickly proceeded unaware that Katrina was pacing up and down behind her.

Bayard grunted loudly in pain as she pulled the tie as tight as she possibly could.

"Katrina..." She spoke quietly as she turned to the young woman.

"What?" She asked her voice broken and full of uncried sobs.

"We need to get them out of here." Casey said signalling to Bayard and Oliver.

"No!" She yelled. "No one's leaving."

"If they die Katrina you will go to prison, Bayard's girlfriend is a cop, she's having his baby and do you really think she or her squad will let anyone go easy on you if you kill her baby's daddy and Oliver, he's her Dad, can you imagine what it would be like for her if you caused both her future husband and her Daddy's death?" Casey asked softly hoping to win the woman over.

"I know... but I can't..."

"Bayard? Dad?"

Olivia's voice carried into the room.

"Is that the cop?" Katrina asked.

"Yeah her name's Detective Benson, she's a cop who works for Special Victims, she will want to help you but only if you let her Father and fiancé receive medical help." Casey said.

"Dad?" She yelled again and Casey could hear the torment in her voice. "B? Please someone answer me?"

Outside the door Elliot held a comforting hand on Olivia's shoulder, he knew she was frightened especially as she wasn't getting an answer from her father or fiancé.

"What do I do?" Katrina asked Casey.

"Call back to her, her name's Olivia." Casey smiled reassuringly.

"Olivia? Detective Olivia?" Katrina called cautiously.

"Yes, I'm Olivia Benson from Manhattan's SVU is everything alright in there?" She called back trying to keep calm.

"No, they're hurt." Katrina called back the tears flowing a little freely down her cheeks.

"Who's hurt?" Olivia called back as she gripped onto Elliot's hand.

"Your Dad and Boyfriend."

If Elliot hadn't slipped an arm around her waist she would have fallen straight to the ground as her worst fear was confirmed.

"They're alive though!" Katrina called desperately. "Please? I didn't mean too!"

"I know! I know sweetie what's your name?" Olivia called back quickly regaining herself.

"Katrina!" She replied. "Katrina Rollins."

"Ok Katrina, listen to me, I need you to let me come in there can you do that?" Olivia asked.

Katrina looked at Casey unsure how to reply, Casey nodded softly.

"If anyone can help you Katrina Olivia can, I promise." Casey reassured.

"Fine, but only you and don't bring your gun!" Katrina called. "Or I'll shoot again!" It was an empty threat but she had to say it to make sure Olivia complied.

"Ok sweetie. Ok, I'm coming in now ok I promise I don't have my gun." Olivia replied.

"Olivia..."

"My Dad and B are lying in there with gun shot wounds El I am not going to stand out here doing nothing when I can be in there, so give Cragen the notice that I'm going in." She handed him her gun and SWAT made enough room for her to pass before blocking the door again.

"Ok I have no gun I promise." She said as she surveyed the room around them.

"Liv..."

"Bayard... Dad..." She had to remain calm even though she wanted nothing more than to rush over to them.

"You can see them, I won't shoot you I swear." Katrina said lowering the gun back to her side.

Olivia nodded and took a couple of callous steps before rushing over to where Casey was holding her Father's hand and stroking his sweat filled forehead.

"Bayard." Olivia whispered dropping a kiss to his cheek before surveying the damage.

"I'm ok Olivia how's your Dad?" He asked through closed eyes.

"Daddy?" Olivia asked pressing her forehead to his temple. "Please answer me Daddy." She whispered.

"I'm here baby doll." He replied his words slurred as if intoxicated.

"Katrina, why did you do this sweetie talk to me?" Olivia was pleading now because she needed to get the two most important men in her life out of the room before they died.

"He raped me." She said pointing the gun towards Ronan.

"You lying whore..."

"You raped me!" She screamed standing on her feet with the gun aimed at him.

"Ronan keep your mouth shut." Olivia warned, if that was true she was quite relieved that Katrina had stopped the trial, Bayard and her father was trying to keep this guy out of jail.

"He also raped my baby sister, she's only twelve!" Katrina whispered breaking out in wracked sobs.

Olivia nodded to Casey and then slowly got to her feet and walked towards Katrina.

"Katrina, I want to help you, if you'll let me that is." Olivia told the young girl.

"I will, please help me Detective." Katrina sobbed.

"First I need you to give me the gun." Olivia told her as she held her hand out.

"But then what?" Katrina asked as she put the gun in Olivia's hand but didn't let go.

"Then my friends are going to come in, they'll arrest Ronan and for the time being they'll arrest you too but then my partner Elliot will take your statement and we can try and find some proof of the rape, we'll talk to your little sister and find out what Ronan did and then he'll go to trial." Olivia explained and Katrina nodded and finally let go of the gun.

Olivia stepped back the relief flooding her face.

"We're clear! Suspect is unarmed I repeat the suspect is unarmed!" She yelled.

As soon as the doors burst open cops flooded the place, Olivia watched her partner take custody of Katrina leaving her free to rush over to her Dad and Bayard. Her Dad was slowly losing consciousness.

"Daddy stay with me!" She screamed hitting him over the face weakly.

"I love you baby..." He whispered before his head rolled forward.

"No! You will not die on me!" She screamed quickly pulling him down to lying on the floor.

She began to give CPR with Casey, desperate to bring him back to life, luckily she was only at it a few seconds when the medics rushed in.

"Move out of the way Ma'am." One said and Casey pulled Olivia from the floor by her biceps.

"Don't let them die." She pleaded the tears finally cascading down their cheeks.

"Come on Liv let them work." Casey whispered pulling her away.

"He's supposed to walk me down the aisle in two weeks, he can't die now I've only just had him back!" Olivia sobbed as Don rushed towards them.

He pulled Olivia into his arms and held her in a tight embrace, his own tears slowly slipping down his cheeks as they watched medics put Bayard on a stretched another team still working on Oliver.

"Liv they're moving Bayard." Casey told her.

Olivia was torn between going with her future husband and staying with her father.

"I'll go with him Olivia, stay with your Dad." Don said.

"Thank you." She replied before sinking into Casey's waiting arm. "Just tell him I love him." She croaked before turning her attention back to where they were finally putting Oliver on a stretcher.

It was almost like slow motion for her as they lifted him onto a gurney and began wheeling him out. Olivia hurried behind them all the way down to the ambulance.

"I'm riding along." She said as she jumped into the ambulance behind a medic.

The doors soon closed and they were on their way to Mercy General where she hoped none of her worst fears were made a reality.


	28. Chapter 28

**Haha More Drama and you're going to hate me but I don't care!**

Once at the hospital Olivia followed the gurney from the ambulance but as they rushed her father into Trauma Don Cragen held her back.

"Let. Me. Go!" She yelled struggling against him.

"You need to let them work Liv they'll come talk to us as soon as there's news." Don told her as she slowed the struggle before letting all her weight fall and he felt relieved that he was holding her.

Slowly he lowered her down so she wouldn't hurt her knees but he was in no position to hold her up by her biceps.

"They can't die..." She croaked.

"And they won't Livia you have to believe that." Don whispered feeling her heartache.

"He coded in the ambulance and he was dead on scene Don!" She sobbed. "I can't lose him now!"

"I know." He whispered back pulling her into a tight embrace as she sobbed hard.

By the time her sobbing had subsided Casey, Elliot, Munch and Fin had arrived. Elliot picked her up off the floor, sat on one of the rickety plastic chairs and pulled her into his lap. He held onto her tight as she hiccupped softly every now and again.

"It's been nearly two hours." She said, her voice hoarse from crying.

"No news is good news Liv." Elliot tried to reassure her.

"Family of Bayard Ellis?" A doctor called from the doorway into the trauma area.

"That's me, I'm his fiancé, please tell me he's alive!" She had rushed forward and Elliot and Don were fast behind her Elliot grasping her biceps to make sure she didn't hit the doctor for not answering quick enough.

"He's doing wonderfully, he's not long gone up to surgery, we tried to pull the bullet out without having to resort to surgery but it was lodged just under the bone so we have to go in a different way to get it but it's nothing to worry about, he'll be sore for a few days, we're going to keep him here for a couple just to make sure that there are no nerve damages but so far we didn't see any." The Doctor explained.

"What about Oliver Benson?" Olivia asked hurriedly, the relief that her fiancé was ok vanishing with fear about her father's well being.

"I'm afraid I didn't treat him and I am not his Doctor..."

"I'm his daughter, he coded in the ambulance please find out if he's alive at least!" Olivia yelled in desperation.

"Liv..."

"He's my Dad El, I need him to be alive..."

"I'll go see what I can find out for you Ms Benson." The Doctor said softly.

"Thank you." She whispered before allowing Elliot to move her back to the plastic chairs.

Another forty minutes of silence past between the group until a different doctor came out to talk to them.

"Family of Oliver Benson?" He asked and Olivia jumped to her feet again this time grabbing Don's hand as they met the doctor halfway.

"How is he?" She asked.

"Well we had to give him some blood and of course stem the bleeding, we've done what we can for now but we're just waiting for his vitals to stabilize before we get him into surgery to remove the bullet." He explained gently, he seemed nicer than the female doctor she'd spoken to about Bayard.

"Stabilize? How bad is he?" Olivia asked understanding some of the medical jargon.

"He's weak, he lost a lot of blood and with his age and his heart condition we're worried that he won't make it through surgery..."

"Heart condition?" Olivia gasped.

"Yeah your Father had a mini stroke about two years ago..."

"Stroke?" Olivia felt light headed and gripped tighter to Elliot's hand as she felt her knees begin to buckle underneath her.

"I've got you Liv." Elliot said removing his hand from hers and wrapping it around her waist to support her.

"I feel sick." She whispered.

"Ms Benson your father is a very sick man and there is a chance he won't make it through the surgery and if he does he could still get sicker as the day progresses, call in your loved ones, your family." He told her before walking off.

"No!" She sobbed. "No he can't die!"

"He's not dead yet Liv don't give up on him." Elliot whispered.

"I need to call Simon." Olivia hiccupped pulling out her phone and taking a deep breath. "If they have any news I'll be outside."

She marched off leaving her co-workers behind. Munch and Fin decided to get everyone some coffee. Casey sat trying to replay what had happened in the courtroom while Elliot and Don silently worried about the woman who was barely holding everything together.

She was gone only ten minutes and when she came back her eyes were red and raw which showed she'd been trying to hide how much she'd been crying. Munch passed her a cup of coffee which she took gratefully.

"Ms Benson?" Bayard's Doctor came over and she stood up to greet her. "Mr Ellis is out of surgery and is conscious, he's asking for you."

Olivia wanted nothing more than to see him but the fear about her father gripped her.

"Why don't you go up and we'll come and get you when Simon get's here or if there's any news?" Cragen suggested.

"Ok." She nodded before following the Doctor.

* * *

She walked into Bayard's room and found him sat upright in bed his arm in a sling.

"Hey." He croaked.

"You're a sight for sore eyes." She joked lamely, he could see she'd been crying and her eyes were definitely sore.

"Princess..."

"I was so scared I'd lost you." She croaked rushing over to him.

He grabbed around her and pulled her sobbing figure into his bare chest and kissed any part of her he could reach.

"I'm sorry Princess, I am so sorry." He repeated.

"It's not your fault." Olivia replied as she turned to look at him.

"I know but I hate that you were scared, I'm not going anywhere Liv, it was just in the arm." Bayard reassured as he ran a hand through her head. "Now how's your Dad?"

"He's... He's... they're not sure if he's going to make it." She hiccupped painfully, it hurt her too much to think about how bad a position her father was in.

"What? Liv what happened?"

"His heart stopped in the courtroom and then again in the ambulance and they said he lost a lot of blood and they can't get him into surgery to take out the bullet till his vitals stabilize and then there's the added worry about him having a bad heart... they said he might die." Olivia couldn't cry anymore as she slowly started to dissociate with what was happening.

"He won't Liv, he's a fighter, why don't you go back downstairs and find out what's happening?" He suggested.

"Ok. I love you." She leant over and kissed him heavily on the lips.

"I love you too Liv, you know that right?"

"Of course I do, I wouldn't marry you if I doubted it."

* * *

She arrived back downstairs just as Simon arrived, he rushed over to her and wrapped her up in an embrace as he sobbed.

"I'm sorry." She hiccupped.

"Don't apologise Liv this isn't your fault." He reassured as he led her over to where the others were sat.

"How's Bayard?" He asked.

"He's fine. He was shot in the arm but he's gonna be just fine but Dad..." She couldn't talk about it anymore, it killed her to even think about it.

"He's gonna be fine Liv, just believe that." Simon told her.

"Ms Benson?"

Olivia didn't know whether to be relieved or petrified seeing Oliver's Doctor walking towards her.

"This is my Brother Simon." She told him.

"Mr Benson." The Doctor replied shaking his hand. "Your father's vitals are up and he's conscious but he won't let us take him into surgery until he sees the two of you."

"Now?" Olivia asked.

"Yeah, right this way." He smiled reassuringly.

"Don, come on." Olivia said turning to her superior.

"No Olivia this is for family." Don replied.

"You are family." She shrugged and he nodded and followed the siblings who were walking hand in hand.

They all entered Oliver Benson's room and saw he looked weak and pale. Olivia had to bit don on her bottom lip just so that she wouldn't draw blood.

"Baby Doll, Son." He smiled weakly as they walked to the bed.

"Daddy." Olivia whispered taking his hand.

"I'm fine Baby Doll don't you worry, I'm gonna get better." He reassured her. "In twelve days I will be walking you down that aisle and that's a promise." He was firm, he believed his words.

"Ok." She nodded.

"Now Simon, look after your sister until I'm better." Oliver warned.

"I wouldn't have it any other way." Simon replied.

"Now both of you go while I talk to Don."

They both kissed their father and left the room suppressing the sobs that threatened to escaped.

"Don." Oliver began.

"What is it?" Don replied shakily, he'd never seen his friend look so weak.

"If I don't make it..."

"Oliver..."

"No Don listen to me!" Oliver snapped. "If I don't make it make sure Olivia remembers I love her but don't let her push you away, don't let her postpone the wedding or change anything ok?" Oliver asked.

"Fine." Don replied. "But you're the one who will be limping beside her down the aisle." Don replied before leaving, leaving it on a joke worked best for him.


	29. Chapter 29

**ALL CREDIT FOR THE BABY NAMES IN THIS CHAPTER GO TO ToriRenee161**

Olivia lay on the bed beside Bayard. She was waiting for news on her father's surgery and Bayard was running out of ideas to distract her.

"We need to start thinking of baby names." Bayard said.

"Yeah but we don't even know what we're having yet." Olivia replied softly, it was working, the one topic that could stop her worrying about her father for a bit.

"Well we can think of names for both." Bayard shrugged, they were both doing this for the first time it was bound to be a little strange.

"Ok have you got any ideas?" Olivia asked as she latched her hand into his.

"Uh well there was Kassidy Jane ..."

"No way am I not calling a kid of mine Kassidy." Olivia shuddered at the thought, her ex boyfriend was called Cassidy.

"Ok..." Bayard laughed at Olivia's reaction. "Brendan Alexander."

"Cute." Olivia smiled. "Brendan... Brendan Alexander Ellis."

"You like it?" Bayard asked.

"Yeah, it's cute ok how about Mason William Ellis?" Olivia didn't want to make it obvious how much she'd actually thinking about this.

"Mason? Sounds like a dog's name." He laughed.

"No it doesn't... ok maybe it does." Olivia replied softly.

"Eden Grace?" Bayard suggested.

"Eden Grace Ellis." Olivia smiled. "I like that one a lot."

"Then we'll keep it in the memory bank until the baby gets here." Bayard smiled. "I can't wait to meet him or her."

"Neither can I." Olivia smiled as she stroked her hand down her abdomen.

* * *

When Olivia was finally told her father was awake and out of surgery Bayard told her to go to him and that he would be fine. Olivia needn't have been told twice. She met Simon outside his room and they went in together.

"How is he?" Olivia asked the Doctor who was checking him over.

"He's doing well, we didn't lose him at all on the operating table and his vitals stayed up so those are two very good signs, he was awake briefly after surgery and was quite coherent. All we can do now is wait till he wakes up and see how he is then." The Doctor replied. "But you're both welcome to stay for as long as you want ok?"

"Thank you." Both of them replied in unison before taking a seat at either side of his bed.

"How's Bayard?" Simon asked.

"Bored of being in hospital." Olivia replied. "They're keeping him overnight for observation."

"So he'll be out tomorrow?" Simon asked to be sure.

"Yeah. He was joking about being still in the sling on our wedding day." Olivia smiled gently.

"Hey Dad will be hopping you down the aisle!" Simon joked and Olivia managed a weak laugh.

"He better be." She said as she looked at her father's pale figure.

"I'm planning on." Oliver groaned.

"Dad?" They both jumped up and leaned over him.

"I'm awake." He grumbled. "Can't sleep with you two yakking."

They both laughed, it was so good to hear him talk especially joke.

"What time is it?" He asked.

"Just gone nine pm." Olivia replied.

"Then what are you both still doing here?" He asked firmly.

"Doc said we could stay, Dad we're not going anywhere." Olivia said firmly, she was tired and felt light headed but she wasn't going to give in about this.

"Simon take your sister to get some food will you?" Oliver asked.

"No Dad I'm not leaving you." Olivia replied firmly.

"Baby Doll you have two people to look after. I am not going to argue with you about this." Oliver replied and Olivia groaned, she knew she couldn't win.

"Fine." She replied.

"And afterwards Simon take her home, she's not sleeping in a hospital chair tonight." He replied.

"Dad?" Olivia groaned.

"No Olivia home, bed, sleep, see you tomorrow." He said firmly and Olivia sighed.

"Fine, I'll see you tomorrow morning." She smiled and leant over and kissed him.

* * *

Simon took Olivia straight home where they met Elliot and the kids.

"Hey." Elliot smiled embracing her.

"Hey." She replied weakly.

"How are they?" Elliot asked.

"Bayard is fine just being kept overnight and then Dad's out of surgery, he sent us home." Olivia laughed. "Simon's gonna take the couch so that he doesn't have to go back to Jersey and he's close if anything happens."

"Good, you hungry? We haven't eaten yet I was about to order a pizza." Elliot smiled.

"Pizza sounds good, I need a shower." Olivia replied.

"What do you want on your Pizza?" Elliot asked knowing since she'd started having cravings she'd been having everything but her usual.

"Pepperoni, chicken, salami, ham and pineapple." She replied.

"If that kid isn't a boy we've got a problem." Simone laughed.

"Why's that?" She frowned turning to her brother.

"Because you're craving meat stuff, very manly." He laughed and Olivia grinned cheekily.

"Well I've been convinced this baby's a girl so we'll see, now I am going to see the twins and go for a shower.

* * *

The next morning Olivia and Simon went straight to the hospital. After checking in with Bayard and finding out he'd be allowed to leave after breakfast and handing over his stuff they went down to see their father. The relief they both felt to see him sat up in bed eating was too much for Olivia as tears slipped down her cheeks.

"Baby Doll why are you crying?" He asked seeing her tear ridden cheeks.

"Damn hormones." She laughed as she leant in and embraced him.

"You're looking good Dad." Simon smiled as he took the seat beside the bed on the right hand side so Olivia could take the one on the left.

"I feel good, Doc said my heart is fine and I was stable all night so can go home later on today." Oliver grinned and Olivia and Simon beamed back at him.

"Good, Simon's going to come and stay with you for a few nights..."

"I don't need a baby sitter."

"So you're going to walk around all on your own?" Olivia replied sarcastically and Oliver saw he wasn't going to win this one. "He's managed to get the time off work but Don needs me in with Elliot already taking a few days with moving into his place this coming weekend."

"Fine." He grumbled.

"Good then that's one argument sorted now I am going back upstairs to Bayard as he'll be discharged this morning." Olivia smiled before kissing her father.

* * *

When Olivia and Bayard finally made it home they were knackered, they'd stayed at the hospital until Oliver was discharged and then gone to Jersey with him to make sure he actually arrived at Simon's place.

Olivia had been called on the way back and she had to go into the office so she'd only come home to change.

"You sure you'll be alright without me?" Olivia asked.

"I got shot, I'm not disabled." Bayard replied. "I'm going to have something to eat then I will take my pills which will knock me out for a couple of hours, don't worry Princess I'll be fine you go to work."

"Ok, I love you." She smiled leaning into kiss him.

"I love you too."

* * *

When Olivia arrived at the one six she went straight to see Don Cragen like he'd asked. He shut the door behind her and told her to take a seat which only made her more nervous.

"How are you?" He asked once he'd taken his own seat.

"I'm fine glad Dad and B's alright."

"Good, uh, you asked me to keep you up to date with Katrina, well she's not being offered a deal and being charged with two counts of attempted murder." Don explained as Olivia's mouth fell wide open.

"She's a frightened kid!" Olivia gasped. "She shouldn't be tried at all!"

"She almost killed your Dad and fiancé!" Don replied.

"Almost is the word here and that wasn't her intentions, has someone looked into the rape allegation?" Olivia snapped.

"Yes and that's all we have is the allegation, there's no proof at all Olivia." Don replied, he understood she was frustrated.

"Who's the prosecuting attorney?" Olivia asked.

"Tracey Kibre." Don replied.

"Well she and I get on great, let me go talk to her."

"Olivia don't do this, she's pleading guilty still." Don replied.

"Not the point, she was a traumatised kid who could easily plead extreme emotional disturbance." Olivia replied.

"Maybe but her public defence lawyer doesn't seem to want to." Don sighed.

"Fine luckily my future husband owns his own defence company, I'll get one of the lawyers there to take her case." Olivia snapped getting to her feet.

"They can't it's conflict of interest with Bayard being the one shot." Don replied.

"Then I'll get one of Dad's lawyer friends to take it, Don that kid doesn't deserve prison she deserves probation and mandatory therapy." Olivia explained. "Now can I go?"

"Fine." Don sighed.

Olivia went straight to her desk knowing that there was one person she had to call regarding this situation.

"Hey Baby."

He Princess what do you want?

"Listen, Don just told me that they're charging the kid with two counts attempted murder..."

WHAT?

"I know, it's way out of context but her public defender doesn't want to try his hand in court with an EED defence." Olivia explained sympathetically.

Leave it with me Olivia.

"Are you sure?" Olivia asked.

Trust me, that Kid will not spend a day inside a jailhouse if I have anything to do with it.

"I knew that would be the case." Olivia couldn't help but smile, her fiancé truly was one of a kind.

Ok see you later, I love you.

"Love you too." She hung up and saw Don Cragen looking at her and she smirked at him and he could only roll his eyes and sigh in return, she was too stubborn for her own good sometimes.

**SO SKIP TO THE WEDDING NEXT CHAPTER!**


	30. Chapter 30

**So this is the last chapter (plus epilogue) only because I have to take a HIATUS from FF because of school and work so I've been desperately trying to finish this fic so when I come back I'll have the beginning of a sequel for you and a second BOLIVIA fic too! So enjoy this FLUFF and SMUT filed chapter!**

Olivia woke up very early on the day of her wedding. She was a bag of mix emotions with nerves being the most prominent. After mixing herself a nice cup of coffee she pulled on her robe and slippers and made her way to the roof of her apartment.

Inside, Casey and Melinda who had shared the small guestroom were still asleep and her father who had taken the second guest room was lying in bed looking at the ceiling thinking over everything that had happened since he'd been back in his daughter's life.

She stood on the roof looking out over Manhattan. The sun was just beginning to rise in the distance flashing purple and orange light across the sky. It was a beautiful sight.

"Hey."

Olivia almost jumped out of her skin but smiled when she saw her two bridesmaids with their own coffee's coming to her.

"Morning." She smiled before turning back to the view.

"How is the bride feeling this morning?" Melinda asked as she went on one side of Olivia and Casey went on the other.

"Nervous, excited, petrified." Olivia replied. "What time is it?"

"Just gone six, you have an hour before the dress arrives." Casey smiled.

"Never thought I'd ever be in this position." Olivia smiled as she continued to look out towards the horizon.

"What position?"

"Stood full of feelings on my wedding day. I mean, I never thought I'd get married." Olivia smiled.

"Well you are." Melinda laughed.

"I am right, I can't believe this past eight months." Olivia smiled as she rubbed her hand over her twelve week bump.

"Hey tell us about it, we've been by your side through it all and we found it overwhelming so we can't even begin to imagine what it's been like for you!" Casey laughed.

"Exactly but all in all even with the bad times it's been more than I could ever have asked for to be happy, I'm finally pregnant, I'm getting married and my Dad is about to walk me down the aisle..."

"Limp you down." Melinda corrected making the ladies all laugh.

"Fine. Limp me down the aisle, it's still more than I ever could have imagined." Olivia smiled.

* * *

At seven thirty am the three woman were sat in Olivia's living room drinking fizzy apple juice in champagne flutes and having their hair and makeup done while Oliver was on the phone with Don finding out how Bayard was doing.

"So in work will you still be Detective Benson?" Melinda asked as she relaxed getting her pedicure.

"Nope, I am dropping Benson altogether in favour of Ellis." She replied with a smile. "I want to be the same as my husband and baby."

"That's gonna take some getting used to." Casey laughed. "I can see it for the first few months, you'll be in the witness box testifying. 'Detective Benson...uh...I mean Detective Ellis...' it's gonna be hard!" Casey laughed.

"I feel more sorry for Stabler, I mean he's said Benson and Stabler for like ten years how is he going to remember to say Ellis and Stabler?" Melinda asked.

"Me hitting him across the head every time he calls me Benson will be enough of an initiative!" Olivia laughed with her friends.

"Ellis and Stabler, hmm has a nice ring to it." Casey noted and the other nodded in agreement. "Stabler and Ellis, Ellis and Stabler."

"Ellis and Stabler." Both Melinda and Olivia replied in unison.

* * *

Olivia stood in her bedroom smoothing her hand down the front of her dress her small bump just visible through the chiffon and satin. Her hair was all done, her makeup was unblemished and now she knew that she would be leaving the house in just under ten minutes.

A knock on the door had her turning from the full length mirror to face her father.

"You look breathtaking." He told her and she smiled widely.

"Thank you." She smiled as she leaned in to embrace him.

As he embraced her back she felt the warmth of his hand against her bare back.

"The car's are here." He told her and she nodded and picked up her large bouquet from the bed before taking the hand he was offering her to lead her out.

In the hallway both Melinda and Casey stood with a camera each. They both quickly snapped some photos and Olivia laughed softly, it was just like her friends.

They all walked out of the apartment together, both Melinda and Casey carrying the chapel train of the dress so it wouldn't get caught or dirty.

They stepped outside and two Rolls Royce's were waiting for them. The driver opened the door of the first one and Melinda and Casey helped Olivia inside while Oliver held her flowers, they placed her train and reminded her not to get out without their help or the dress would be ruined before she arrived the steps of the hotel.

Beside her Oliver slid in and handed her flowers over and the door was closed, in minutes they were on their way to the hotel where she would finally begin her happily ever after.

She fingered the white roses of her three colour bouquet as the car slowly moved closer to the destination. Oliver held his daughter's free hand and rubbed his thumb tentatively over it.

She saw them turn into the hotel driveway and her breath hitched in her throat. This was it. She was about to take the steps down the aisle and marry her man.

"You know, it's not too late you change your mind."

* * *

Inside the church Bayard stood with Elliot, Fin, Munch and Don Cragen. They all wore charcoal coloured suits with golden waistcoats and red cravats. Their simple red sprayed stargazer lily with white ribbon and small pearl on the end of the thin greenery stood out from their place on their left pocket.

"It's nearly time." Bayard said as he shifted uncomfortable on his feet.

"It's tradition for the woman to be late." Elliot reminded him as he glanced over at the clock once again.

Bayard looked around the small chapel. Each pew was full with guest in a variety of colourful outfits. Flower arrangements stood on tall podiums every other pew and were connected by large dark red netting that Olivia had chosen to line the path from the door to the aisle, the same flower arrangements would be moved from the chapel to the dining room after the service.

A large dark red carpet was rolled from the door down to the aisle outlined in a light gold. In about an hour Bayard Ellis would be walking his wife up that aisle and he was beside himself with excitement and nerves.

"She's here." Don whispered to him and he nodded as he took his place to wait for her.

* * *

Outside the door Olivia stood arm in arm with her father while Melinda and Casey sorted out the small train of her dress. They then pressed a hand to her bare back before stepping in front of her ready to walk down the aisle. A string quartet was going to be playing for the bridal party to walk down the aisle, they had already been playing as the guest arrived but now it was silent waiting for the right moment to play. Melinda and Casey started to walk side by side in their dark red knee length chiffon dress with gold ribbon around the waist, strapless with a flower shaped Swarovski crystal shaped flower broach in the middle. They held their five stargazer lilies in their hands as they walked, there were four red and one white surrounded by thin greenery with pearls to match the men's button holes, the bouquets were tiny but they were just what Olivia had wanted.

When they arrived the front and the music stopped to change the whole chapel stood up and Olivia pecked her father's cheek before getting ready to walk down the aisle. As the song began to play she stepped forwards in her white four inch plain silk heels hidden by the bottom of her white chiffon dress.

The front of the dress was quite simplistic. In the valley between her breasts a large Swarovski crystal and pearl broach in a diamond shape and from it the dress fell. The straps were also Swarovski crystal and pearl but even though it wasn't from the back it looked like a halter neck as the detachable 'cape' was hooked to the straps too. Just beneath her neck the Swarovski crystal and pearls continued into a small triangle shape in the centre. From the straps on each side chiffon fell which wasn't attached to anything until it reached her lower back where it was held by another Swarvoski Crystal broach. Other than this the back was bare. From the broach in the back the train of the dress fell outward. (A/N: If you want to see the dress visit this maggiesottero .com/ ?style=R1155&page=0&pageSize=36&keywordText=&keywordType=All I mean the dress is hard to describe but I could see Olivia in it!)

Her hair was gathered into a twisted high updo held in place by a small red stargazer lily with just a few strands that fell from it and on her head a simple crown shaped tiara covered in tiny Swarovski crystals and pearls. Her bouquet was large, with white roses and red stargazer lilies with ample greenery that engulfed her hands.

Her eyes were fixed firmly on Bayard's as were his on hers. The guests aww'd and ahhh'd but she didn't even register that they were there as she helped her father walk, he was determined not to hop.

As they reached the front Bayard leant in and kissed her lightly blushed cheek.

"You look amazing." He whispered and she smiled just as Don took her other hand.

She looked from Don to her Father who were both smiling, this wasn't what she had expected to happen as the priest stepped forward but she went with it guessing both her father and Don had planned it.

"Who gives this woman?"

"We do." They said and took it in turn to kiss her cheeks before her father passed her hand over to Bayard so they could take the final steps towards the Priest.

"We have gathered here today to witness the coming together in Matrimony of Olivia Benson and Bayard Ellis. A day where two separate people become one and go on to live their lives together in love and happiness surrounded by family and friends." The Priest smiled as Olivia and Bayard gazed at each other, lost in the love emulating from their partners eyes. "We shall all stand and sing 'All things bright and beautiful in your wedding programme."

As the song played Olivia and Bayard just smiled and sang quietly along preferring to listen to their guests and look at each other as the hymn continued. Once it came to an end the priest stepped forward to begin the vows.

"Bayard and Olivia, you have come here freely and without reservation to give yourselves to each other in marriage?"

"We have." They replied with wide smiles.

"Will you honour each other as man and wife for the rest of your lives?"

"We will." The excitement in Olivia's voice didn't go unnoticed by anyone especially not Bayard who's smile would have widened had it been possible.

"Will you accept children lovingly from God? And bring them up according to the law of Christ and his Chruch?"

"We will." Bayard's eyes flickered down to Olivia's tiny bump as she suppressed the urge to let go of Bayard's hand and stroke her abdomen making a few people who noticed smile.

"Since it's your intention to enter into marriage join your right hands and declare your consent before God."

Olivia passed her flowers over to Casey and then she and Bayard both linked their right hands as they looked into each other's dark brown eyes and smiled lovingly as they prepared to say the consent they had both memorised for this day.

"I Bayard take you Olivia to be my wife, I promise to love you, honour you, be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health and for richer or poorer." Bayard said as Olivia blinked back the tears of joy threatening to spill from her eyes.

"I Olivia take you Bayard to be my husband, I promise to love you, honour you, be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health and for richer or poorer." Olivia's voice threatened to crack as Bayard allowed a solitary tear to slip from his eye.

"We will now exchange rings." The priest said and Don proudly walked up and opened the box containing the two rings before placing it on the cushion the priest was holding.

"Bayard take the ring and place it on Olivia's finger." He said and Bayard did as he was told.

"Repeat after me, take this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity."

"Take this ring, as a sign of my love and fidelity." He said as he slipped the white gold diamond covered band down her finger.

"And Olivia."

"Take this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity." She said as she placed the white gold thick band with one solitary diamond down his finger.

"Do you Bayard take Olivia to be your Lawful wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward?"

"I do." He replied excitedly.

"Do you Olivia take Bayard to be your Lawful wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward?"

"I do." She grinned.

"By the power invested in me by the Church, God and the state of New York I now pronounce you man and wife."

Olivia and Bayard's smiles widened.

"You may now kiss the bride."

Bayard leant in and kissed Olivia and the choir they'd booked broke out into an upbeat rendition of 'If Ye Love Me.'

"Go on and be happy." The Priest said as everyone in the congregation stood up.

Olivia and Bayard walked hand in hand and Casey passed the flowers back for them to walk outside the wedding party following quickly after them as the wedding guests were let out through side doors to walk around to the front to meet the husband and wife who were making out on the steps of the chapel.

Cameras flashed, cheers and claps erupted throughout but Olivia and Bayard were oblivious to all of it as they smiled and looked at each other.

* * *

After spending a couple of hours taking pictures on the lawn out in the back of the hotel Olivia was quite relieved when they were called inside for the wedding breakfast. She and Bayard were shown into a room to wait while the guests were all seated and then when they were ready they were announced and shown to their seat.

The first course was a roast plum tomato soup with basil cream and rolls. Olivia enjoyed chatting with her guests at the top table as she looked out across the room where her guests sat, friends from the force, friends of hers and Bayard's from life in general. It was a lovely sight.

The second course was a roasted shoulder of lamb served on a bed of potatoes with gravy, mint sauce and vegetable bowls, one of Olivia and Bayard's favourite meals that they both enjoyed.

After the main meal was cleared away the desert was brought around which was a fresh summer fruit sorbet which once cleared the speeches were given and the cake was cut which would be served with coffee and afternoon mints after more photos were taken of the bride and groom along the expansive hotel ground.

* * *

It had been a long day already and Olivia now sat in the lounge which was big enough to hold the one hundred guests. They'd cut the chocolate sponge white icing red decretive cake after lunch and Olivia and Bayard were now feeding each other pieces from the couch they sat on to aww's from those watching and not enjoying their own slice of cake and coffee.

From the top of the cake Olivia had salvaged because it was fruit and she wanted to keep the tradition that the top layer of the wedding cake was to be kept for first child's baptism she's taken the glass love heart with their names and the date inscribed inside and it now lay on a napkin in front of her.

"Mrs Ellis are you not full yet?" Bayard asked as he fed her another slice of chocolate wedding cake.

"I am Mr Ellis but having you feed me is a rare treat that I don't want to pass up on." She teased as she fed him back purposely knocking the fork so it hit his nose and left a piece of chocolate and as Olivia laughed Casey snapped a photo, one she knew Olivia would keep forever.

"Has everyone here today signed the guest book Casey?" Olivia asked, she'd left her bridesmaids in charge of that.

"I don't know I'll go find out." Casey smiled as the book had over two hundred and fifty pages and she wanted every guest to write something and if the day guests got it out of the way now it meant that those coming in the evening had more time to fill it in.

"This dress is too heavy." Olivia moaned as she stood up.

"Heavy?" Bayard asked as he stood beside her.

"Yeah these diamonds aren't light!" She laughed pointing to her straps which she felt were pulling her down and making her slouch.

"Well they're beautiful, you're beautiful and that dress just looks amazing but I can't wait... to take it off you." He leant into her ear and whispered making her giggle.

"Mrs Ellis?" One of the managers of the hotel came to her.

"Yes?" She asked softly.

"The photographer is asking for yourself, Mr Ellis, your bridesmaids and groomsmen to make your way to the Ladies in waiting room for more photographs." He told her.

"Thank you." She replied before groaning, she was getting bored of taking photos now but seeing as she'd paid so much for them she wasn't going to complain to much.

The lady in waiting room looked like an old fashioned boudoir and a couch had been set up for the photographs.

First he had Olivia in the middle with Casey and Melinda sitting either side of her and then one with them standing behind her with a hand on her shoulder. Then the same was done with Bayard in the pictures. Then it was Bayard, Don, Elliot, Munch and Fin and then the same again with her father and then one with Olivia in the middle with Oliver and Bayard either side. They took nearly fifty photographs in this room alone and there were still more to be taken that evening under the stars by the lit up fountain in the garden.

* * *

That evening the guests arrived in more sparkly and lower cut dresses ready to party. Olivia and Bayard spent the first hour greeting and accepting gifts before leaving it to the hotel manager so they could have fun.

When it was time for the first dance Olivia was nervous, she and Bayard had chosen the song together, it was a song they both liked and they'd chosen it because they'd mouthed the words to each other as some rookie singer had sang it in a restaurant while they were out once.

They stood in the middle of the dance floor, his arms around her waist hers around his neck as the song 'You're still the one' by Shania Twain began to play.

They sang to each other, lost in each other's eyes as they swayed along to the music not caring about the people watching and snapping pictures as they smiled as they sang.

Everyone watching had tears in their eyes including Elliot, Munch and Fin who were stood with pints of beer in their hands while they watched.

"She gets her happily ever after." Munch said quietly.

"I can't think of anyone who deserves it more." Fin smiled.

"I'm happy for her, she's never looked so happy in her life." Elliot beamed.

And it was true, Olivia had never looked happier than when she was wrapped in Bayard's arms swaying softly under the hot disco lights.

**Only epilogue to go but there IS a sequel once I come back from my break from FF**


	31. Epilogue

**So here's the epilogue, ToriRenee161 who asked about the birth, I hope this is exiting enough for you!**

Being eight and a half months pregnant made everything a challenge. Olivia and Casey walked around Wal-Mart getting the last minute bits and bobs and she felt tired already, yet they'd only been here for five minutes.

"You know if you'd have let us throw you a baby shower this wouldn't have been necessary." Casey smirked as Olivia threw diapers into the shopping cart.

"I know but ah well!" Olivia shrugged, she didn't want all her friends buying her baby things, it was something she had wanted to do herself but as she'd stayed in work till last week when Don had almost dragged her out of the precinct she hadn't had much shopping time, the only consolation was that the nursery was complete.

They continued to walk around and Olivia threw things she needed into the cart, she was tired and was having strange twinges of discomfort in her back.

"Come on I think that's everything." Olivia smiled as she rubbed her large bump.

They walked to the cashier and started placing things on the conveyor belt when Olivia had the sudden urge to pee.

"I need the bathroom." Olivia groaned, the urge was insufferable and she couldn't hold it.

As what she thought was urine trickled down her leg she grabbed Casey when suddenly the trickle turned into a gushing and it was like someone had opened the tap on full.

"Olivia?" Casey asked seeing Olivia's horrified face.

"I think my water just broke." She said and Casey looked down to where Olivia was standing and saw the puddle. "Either that or my bladder just burst."

"Ok uh shit uh what do I do?" Casey asked frantically.

"Ma'am is everything alright?" The Cashier asked seeing the panic on Casey's face.

"Her water just broke!" Casey yelled which brought a lot of attention their way.

A woman rushed over with a friendly smile.

"Hi my name's Ava Thomas I'm a midwife from Mercy General." She handed her id from her neck over to Casey.

"Olivia Ellis." Olivia replied, she was paralyzed with fear and panic.

"Ok Olivia have you had any contractions?" Ava asked as she put her blond hair into a scruffy bun in the back of her hair.

"No." She replied shaking her head. "Ahh... yes!" She replied as the first one hit.

"Ok lets get you out of here..."

Casey call Bayard!" Olivia yelled as the tears cascaded down her cheeks.

Ava moved Olivia over to the benches behind the counters while Casey frantically dialled her best friend's husband of five and a half months.

"Ok how far along are you Olivia?" Ava asked calmly as she checked Olivia's pulse against her watch.

"Thirty eight weeks." Olivia replied.

"Have you had any cramping or discomfort in your stomach or lower back?"

"In my back all morning." Olivia replied.

"Ok that's ok nothing to worry about, now do you have a labour bag anywhere?" Ava asked.

"In the car." Olivia replied as she tried to control her breathing knowing she was getting to worked up and it wasn't healthy for the baby.

"Can you walk to the car?" Ava asked.

"Yeah." Olivia nodded using Ava's hand to hoist herself from the bench.

"Ok Bayard is leaving the office now." Casey said as she took her friend's arm. "We need to get you to Mercy."

"You can drive baby Benson." Olivia laughed as she tried to keep calm.

"I'll drive behind you." Ava said softly and Olivia smiled gratefully at her knowing she and Casey would be in a panic if it wasn't for her.

* * *

Once at the hospital Olivia was taken up to the maternity ward and Ava and Casey stayed with her until Bayard arrived.

Ava then asked if she preferred a different midwife but Olivia asked her to stay and she explained she needed to get changed but she would be back.

"Our baby's coming." Bayard grinned as Olivia held his hand and took deep breaths fearful of the next painful contraction.

"Yes. Still sure it's a boy?" Olivia and Bayard had decided not to find out the sex.

"Oh absolutely." He laughed.

"And if it's not?" Olivia asked.

"It doesn't make a difference as long as he or she is healthy." Bayard replied just as there was a knock on the door.

It opened to reveal Don Cragen who was smiling excitedly.

"Everyone's here, asking if they're allowed to see you before you give birth." He explained and Olivia smiled and nodded, seeing her friends would keep her calm.

Just as Munch, Fin, Don and Elliot filled into the room another contraction hit and she couldn't stop the pain from showing in her face and sounding in her voice.

"Ugh ahhh!" She groaned gripping tight onto Bayard's hand. "Never again."

"Kathy said that and she did it two times after." Elliot smiled and Olivia laughed weakly.

"How far apart are they now?" Elliot asked.

"About five minutes." Olivia replied as she regained control of her breathing as her body relaxed from the contraction.

"Think it's going to be a while?" Munch asked.

"It better fucking not." She laughed as Bayard washed her forehead with a damp cloth.

"Who knows with these things." Fin shrugged and everyone laughed but Olivia.

"I swear I don't think I can do a few more hours of this." She moaned as she shifted uncomfortably and another knock on the door revealed her father and Simon.

"I haven't missed the arrival of my grandbaby then?" He asked cheerily.

"Nope." Olivia replied as she felt another contraction working its way inside of her.

"Fuck me!" She groaned as it hit and she squeezed Bayard's hand again.

"Right now I'm thankful I'm a man." Munch noted making everyone laugh.

"Right now I wish I was a man." Olivia panted. "How long was that?" She asked Bayard.

"Lasted nearly three minutes was four minutes and forty seconds after the previous one." He replied, Olivia had made sure he was checking his watch for her.

"Ok there are way too many people around this bed!" Ava laughed as she came into the room.

"They're my family." Olivia explained.

"Ouch the only female in all of this?" Ava asked and Olivia nodded and laughed.

"Ok well I'll give you all a few more minutes then, how are you doing Olivia?" Ava was checking over all of Olivia's vitals mainly the machine that monitored her contractions.

"I'm ok for now, how much longer?" Olivia groaned.

"I don't know sweetie but your contractions are getting closer together and lasting longer but I'd say we're a few hours off the mark yet." Ava replied.

"Damn I want this over with." She laughed weakly.

"Oh you won't be saying that in a few hours when she or he is here screaming for a feed." Ava laughed as did all the men in the room.

* * *

After five hours of labour Olivia was beginning to tire. Ava had been backwards and forwards and last time she'd been in the room she said she was sure baby Ellis would arrive before dinner time and with it being nearly four thirty Olivia wasn't holding that promise up much more.

"Let's see how you're doing." Ava smiled as she came into the room again.

Olivia naturally adjusted her legs so that Ava could get in between them to poke and prod and when she emerged with a smile Olivia hoped it was good news.

"We're ready to go to the Delivery suite now." Ava beamed and Olivia felt a lot of relief, her baby would be here soon.

* * *

"Ok Olivia, when the next contraction hits I want you to push ok?" Ava smiled as she stood beside the doctor.

As the contraction hit Ava nodded and she pushed with all her might and the Doctor counted down from ten.

"I see the crown Olivia, get ready for the next one."

It took less than a minute for the next contraction to hit and as she pushed she cried out in pain a mixture of curses and inaudible words.

"I hope you wash that mouth out before you kiss this little one!" Ava teased and Olivia laughed weakly before bracing herself for the next contraction.

She held Bayard's hand and looked into his eye as she pushed through the third time, he encouraged her the best he could as did Ava while the Doctor counted.

"Good Olivia we have the head out and we have a mop of dark locks here do you want to feel?" The Doctor asked.

Before she could answer Ava had guided her hand to feel and true to the Doctors words she could feel a thick head of hair. She sobbed happily and as the next contraction hit she struggled to even begin pushing.

"It's alright take a minute to gather yourself." Ava reassured.

"Not long now Princess." Bayard told her before kissing her knuckles.

As the next contraction hit she pushed again but the fatigue was winning her as she fell back into the pillows after only five of the ten seconds the Doctor was counting from.

"Just one more big one Olivia ok?" Ava told her.

She just nodded, words failing her at the moment.

"Get ready." The Doctor said and Olivia took a deep breath and as the contraction his she pushed with all her might and she felt the baby come out of her and fell back into the pillows as she heard the loud cry engulf the delivery room.

"It's a girl!" Ava called and the tears flooded down Olivia's face. "Daddy come cut the cord?"

Bayard let go of Olivia's hand and while he cut the cord from his daughter the Doctor delivered the placenta. As soon as Ava had wiped some of the fluids from the baby she placed her on Olivia's chest.

"Hey baby, hey little one I'm your Mommy." Olivia hiccupped as she held her baby's bare bottom in on hand and stroked her fingers through her hair with the other.

"She's got Daddy's hair." Bayard noted the beginnings of an afro.

"She's not as dark as I expected." Olivia replied as she looked at the light brown skin of her daughter.

"She's mixed race right?" Ava asked.

"Yeah." They both said.

"She might get darker, it depends." Ava explained and they both nodded as the baby looked up at Olivia with dark brown eyes.

"At least we don't have to wait to see what colour her eyes will be." Olivia laughed weakly.

"Right we need to get her cleaned up and weighed and measured then we'll bring her back." Ava said taking the baby from Olivia's chest.

"She's beautiful, perfect, well done Mommy." Bayard said as he kissed his wife.

"We'll take you back down to the ward now, you should think of a name." The Doctor smiled.

"Latisha." Olivia said looking at Bayard.

"Latisha, it's perfect." Bayard smiled. "Latisha Ava?" He asked.

"Latisha Ava Ellis. Our little girl." Olivia smiled happily. "Why don't you go let the family know she's here?"

Bayard smiled and nodded.

"Tell them I'll see them in a bit too, once she's back."

He kissed her once more and then left.

* * *

Everyone in the waiting room were getting grumpy, they'd heard Olivia had been taken up to the delivery room but they'd heard nothing in half an hour and they were getting impatient.

As they sat in silence and sipped at the now cold coffees in their hand all their thoughts were with Olivia and her baby praying for a safe arrival and healthy newborn.

When the door opened everyone jumped to their feet as a teary eyed Bayard walked in.

"Well?" Oliver asked as Bayard tried to compose himself some.

"She's perfect." He said through his tears.

"A girl!" Casey squealed excitedly.

"How's Olivia?" Oliver asked his concern mainly with his daughter.

"She's fine, happy but tired." Bayard smiled. "She said she'd see you all once the baby was back in her room."

"Have you named her?" Munch asked not comfortable with calling the child 'baby' for much longer.

"Latisha Ava Ellis." He said proudly, the name his daughter would wear until she was married.

"Latisha aww that's so cute!" Casey squealed again.

"Yeah we chose Ava after the midwife seeing as Olivia would have panicked if it wasn't for her in Wal-Mart." Bayard laughed softly, he still couldn't believe his wife had gone into labour in Wal-Mart.

* * *

Olivia lay back in the bed with Latisha resting in the crook of her arm grasping her mother's finger. Tears of joy slowly fell down her cheeks but she made no attempt to stop them. When Bayard came in he began to cry at the scene in front of him, his wife and daughter.

"Hey." Olivia smiled up at him.

"She's so beautiful." Bayard whispered as Olivia shifted to make room for him in the bed.

"She's perfect." Olivia replied as she dropped her head to his shoulder.

"Just like her Mommy." Bayard laughed.

"I can't believe she'd finally here." Olivia said as she started to feel overwhelmed.

"Nor me, I thought it was never going to come a few weeks ago, time was going by so slowly." Bayard replied and Olivia nodded in agreement.

"So does Daddy want to hold Latisha before the family all bundles in?" Olivia asked and he nodded excitedly.

Slowly the newborn went from one parents arms to the other.

"Hi Latisha, I'm your Daddy." Bayard spoke softly to his baby girl. "You're so special baby, so loved."

Olivia had more tears flushing down her face as she stroked her daughters cheek.

* * *

After an hour they couldn't stop the family from coming in and Bayard went to get them as Olivia made herself comfortable with Latisha in her arms.

The whole gang piled quietly into the room and gathered around the bed.

"Hey guys." Olivia smiled. "Meet Latisha."

Bayard sat back down on the bed beside his wife and daughter as Don took a few photos on his camera which made Olivia relieved that Ava the midwife had helped her tidy herself up after arriving back on the ward.

"She's so beautiful." Oliver gushed as he realised what he'd missed with his own daughter.

"Does Papa want to hold her?" Olivia asked remembering that's what Oliver had chosen to be called by his grandbaby.

"More than anything!" He replied and he slowly took the baby from her mother and held her carefully in his arms.

She looked up at him with deep brown eyes and silent tears cascaded down his cheeks.

"Hey she's gonna have an afro Benson!" Fin teased.

"Yeah I realised that when she was being delivered and I got to feel her head." Olivia replied with a chuckle at seeing Munch's disgusted face.

"I could have gone a lifetime not knowing that you touched her when half of her was still inside of you Olivia." Munch said making everyone laugh.

"Nice way of putting it John!" Olivia teased. "I hadn't expected it! The Doctor said her head was free and that she had lots of hair and asked if I wanted to feel and I didn't get the chance to answer before the midwife had put my hand there but it was just so emotional, it was finally real when I first felt her hair." Olivia explained while everyone grinned, the only time they'd ever seen Olivia this happy was the day she'd gotten married nearly six months ago.

"So how much does she weigh?" Elliot asked having been a father four times in the past he knew how these things worked.

"Five pound three, she's a bit on the small side but she's healthy." Olivia replied and they all nodded.

"Maureen was eight pound six ounces when she was born, I thought she was too big when I held her but Doctors said she was a healthy weight too." Elliot noted.

"Eight pounds? I think I'd have died having to try and push that out, I mean she was big enough in my eyes." Olivia laughed looking over at her brother who now held his niece.

"So any plans for more?" Casey asked.

"Hey! She's not even two hours old yet I definitely haven't thought about anything more than the next feed!" Olivia laughed softly as did everyone around her.

Latisha went from arm to arm until she began getting fussy and everyone decided to leave and come back the next day while Olivia took the bottle of formula from the bedside cabinet knowing it was time for a feed.

The End

**All done so I'm going to write the first chapter to the sequel and then I'm going on my FF break of five days! Try not to miss me!**


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